Cupcake War Crimes, Week 1 (Tuesday, Period 1)

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

The Home Ec room was set up to look -- like a Home Ec classroom, if one with a very single-minded purpose: every station was set up with stand mixers and a generous supply of cupcake trays and cup liners, plus frostings and sprinkles and all kinds of cake-decorating paraphernalia. The teachers . . . didn’t look like the type of teachers you’d expect to see standing at the front of the room. Well, anywhere outside of Fandom, anyway.

"Hey, everybody," said the guy who wasn’t wearing the shiny mask. "Welcome to Cupcake War Crimes. I’m Samuel Anders, and you can call me Anders -- none of that ‘mister’ stuff, okay?" He turned and gestured to the guy who was wearing the mask.

"I’m called Stark. Not a mister either. Just Stark," said the previously mentioned masked fellow. Who was looking a little bewildered to be up in the front of a classroom.

That was Anders’s adorable persuasiveness at work. Or possibly just the allure of the subject matter. "So." Anders smacked his hands together loudly. "Cupcake War Crimes. Sounds pretty fr-- Ahem. Pretty serious, huh? Way more serious than baked goods should be? Wrong. Cupcakes are serious business. And that includes doing ‘em right."

"Very serious," Stark said. "Very, very serious." Stark took his baked good seriously. Especially cupcakes. "Most serious when the cupcakes are done wrong. So we want to show how you not to do that. Not to do them wrong. Not like they do on the cupcake war show on the tv." Stark had seen one episode of Cupcake Wars and been horrified by it. Further episodes had only led to more horror.

Anders turned to one of two trays of cupcakes up on the front counter. "Like this," he said, indicating what seemed like a totally innocuous, yummy-looking treat. "Wasabi and tuna have no business being in a cupcake. Neither do beer and sauerkraut."

"No business at all," Stark added, glaring at the offending pastries. "Some things should never be done to cupcakes. Ever. At all. It’s not right. Chocolate goes in cupcakes. Not fish. Fish go in water!"

Anders let the appalling concoctions stay on display for a little while longer, so the true horror of them could sink in, before finally taking pity on everyone and covering them up. It was okay, though! There was a second display on the tray he uncovered next. "Chocolate marshmallow cupcakes, for example. Or ginger lemon. We’ll go into a little more depth about ways to do cupcakes really right and really wrong for the rest of the term, but for this week, take a cupcake, introduce yourself if you feel like it, and try to come up with things you think should never go into cupcakes. Easy enough, right?"

"Don’t take the bad cupcakes," Stark advised. He had tried one in an attempt to be open-minded and would likely never recover from the trauma. And considering some of Stark’s other traumas, that was really saying a lot. "And we need someone. One of you. To assist with the cupcakes. Or the teaching. Or both. If anyone wants to do that, tell us. Please."

[OOC: ETA -- argh, I knew I forgot an OCD thread, so feel free to mingle all you want in the introductions thread. Sorry, guys. Really off my game this week.]

Comments

Sign In! [CWC, 5/10]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Like you are deeply suspicious of what ingredients lurk beneath that pretty frosting.

Re: Sign In! [CWC, 5/10]

[godofxbox]

Alex Aaron

Re: Sign In! [CWC, 5/10]

[longislandiceme]

Bobby Drake

Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

You can try something from the first tray if you dare. The alien boys in charge of the class won’t judge. Pity you, maybe, but not judge.

. . . the introductions are optional. The cupcake tasting is not. They’re weird like that.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[therewaslife]

"Hullo, I'm Bod," he started, glancing over at that covered tuna and wasabi cupcakes with trepidation before gathering his focus back up and continuing, "and I can't see ingredients such as lima beans and duck sauce making for a particularly good cupcake."

He nodded and took a cupcake that would not make him nauseous later in the day.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[puppywithatutu.livejournal.com]

Caroline really had no idea what to say about cupcake ingredients, but she thought about it while licking the creamy frosting from a ginger lemon cupcake. When it was her turn she gave a little wave. "My name is Caroline Forbes and um, I kind of thought cupcakes were supposed to taste sweet...not like old fish. So, probably anything you'd find in that whole aisle of baking at the grocery store could go in there, right? And just stay away from the meat department because no one should be combining steak with buttercream."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[stars_and_money]

Jeremy, for his own reasons (namely not having had time to have breakfast before class), decided to do the tasting first, and the introduction second. While kind of in the middle of the tasting bit still, yeah.

"Jeremy Darling," he mumbled around a bite of cupcake, like he'd forgotten everything Letitia Darling had ever taught him. Juliet if she was there omg was free to judge. "And um, I don't think foie gras has any place in cupcakes."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[trigons_child]

Raven was too depressed upon returning from Italy to have much of an appetite. Or to wonder just how she'd gotten assigned to this class. So she eyed the first tray of cupcakes suspiciously, but she wasn't sampling from either. Especially the first.

"I am Raven," she said quietly. "I do not believe animal flesh has any place in a cupcake."

EVEN BACON. SO THERE.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[longislandiceme]

"Bobby Drake," Bobby introduced himself, taking one of the chocolate marshmallow ones. "And I am anti spinach in cupcakes." Or ever.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[twintuitionist.livejournal.com]

Juliet wasn't going anywhere near the first tray, but she did take a chocolate marshmallow cupcake as part of her classwork.

"Hi, I'm Juliet," she began. "I once saw meatloaf cupcakes with mashed potato frosting as an appetizer. That was disgusting."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[notlikejack.livejournal.com]

"I'm Bobby McCallister," Bobby said, awed by this entire class about cupcakes. "And I think we gotta be a little open minded about what to pu in cupcakes. I mean, you wouldn't think carrots would make a good cake, but they do. And zucchini! You don't want to discriminate against something that would taste really good if you gave it a chance."

And that said, he took a chocolate cupcake.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[shes-got-legs.livejournal.com]

"I'm Ariel!" Not even tuna cupcakes could reduce her excitement over the fact that there was a class this summer that involved the most adorable teacher ever and the best food in the entire world, but it did diminish it a little bit. "I love cupcakes, so I'm really excited to be in this class, but, errr, is it okay if I don't try the tuna one? I have...um...allergies."

Allergies to eating her friends.

"So I guess any sort of fish shouldn't go into cupcakes. It's mean...to people with...allergies."

Also, she might be planning to take a wooden spoon home with her by the end of class. Just saying.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[hurtingzeebo]

Sam was wondering if she could get away with trying one of each cupcake. Yes, including the ones from the first tray. Because Sam would eat pretty much anything.

"Sam Puckett," she said. "And I'm going to go with anything you can't get to fit in the little cup thingy. And like, stay there. You know, like taco shells or spaghetti."

Those things should be saved for spaghetti tacos. Naturally.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[need-no-moon.livejournal.com]

"Jacob Black," he shrugged and tilted his head at the first tray. "And I believe in trying everything out. I mean, you never know you might like it and then it'd be a waste to pass it up, right?"

He paused. "But those things smell foul."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[lordofthecats.livejournal.com]

"My name is Lion-o, and while I like red meat, it does not belong in a cupcake. Cupcakes should be sweet, not meaty," said Lion-o, taking one of the chocolate marshmallow cupcakes. "Oh! And I don't eat people, no matter what you might have heard about me."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[mathletenomore.livejournal.com]

Lindsay was staying far away from the tuna cupcakes. The ginger lemon cupcakes seemed much safer and less gross. "Hey, I'm Lindsay. Fish has no place in a cupcake. Also, I think salsa or guacamole cupcakes would be very wrong."

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Rilla was going to take advantage of not having to talk about herself.

She was also giving the sauerkraut cupcake a very wide berth. Eww.

Ewwwwwwwwww.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[godofxbox]

"I'm Alex," Alex said, "Hi. I'm going to say that soup shouldn't go in a cupcake." That seemed reasonable enough.

He reached out and took a chocolate cupcake. Mmmm chocolate.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[sexonyoursheets.livejournal.com]

"Puck," he said, tossing off a wave. "And...like, I bet salad shouldn't go into cupcakes. Or like, grass."

They were the same to him.

Re: Introductions/Cupcake Tasting [CWC, 5/10]

[notagoose]

"I'm Shane Gooseman, Goose," Goose said when it was his turn, "I don't think there is any harm in trying out different things in cupcakes,"

Goose also had a weird digestive system, so his judgement wasn't necessarily the best one to listen to.

Talk to Stark and Anders [CWC, 5/10]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

In the threads that they will have for their respective talking to. Want to be a cupcake TA? Let the aliens know.

Re: Talk to Stark and Anders [CWC, 5/10]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

Anders was keeping away from the dubious cupcakes, thanks . . . and standing by in case anyone had a really traumatic reaction to them.

Re: Talk to Stark and Anders [CWC, 5/10]

[stykera]

Stark was nibbling at one of the chocolate and marshmallow cupcakes but he was happy to talk to any of you. About cupcakes or anything else. Unless you wanted to tell him how amazing you thought the sushi or sauerkraut cupcakes were. That he did not want to hear. Ever.

OOC [CWC, 5/10]

[cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com]

(Various degrees of) SP disclaimer for both of us until evening in our respective time zones! Silly works.

The cupcake truck has not been at the Tuesday afternoon food truck lot in weeks. I AM DEEPLY SADDENED.

Also, anyone interested in that TA position that we just decided we should offer, let us know (OOCly/ICly, whatevs). If there's multiple takers, the RNG's whims shall decide. Whee!

Re: OOC [CWC, 5/10]

[wheeler-360.livejournal.com]

... Remind me at some point to pass you guys my recipe for lemon-curd-filled lavender cupcakes with blueberry Swedish meringue buttercream. :D