ext_251133 ([identity profile] cantgetnorelief.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomhigh2011-05-09 10:15 pm
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Cupcake War Crimes, Week 1 (Tuesday, Period 1)

The Home Ec room was set up to look -- like a Home Ec classroom, if one with a very single-minded purpose: every station was set up with stand mixers and a generous supply of cupcake trays and cup liners, plus frostings and sprinkles and all kinds of cake-decorating paraphernalia. The teachers . . . didn’t look like the type of teachers you’d expect to see standing at the front of the room. Well, anywhere outside of Fandom, anyway.

"Hey, everybody," said the guy who wasn’t wearing the shiny mask. "Welcome to Cupcake War Crimes. I’m Samuel Anders, and you can call me Anders -- none of that ‘mister’ stuff, okay?" He turned and gestured to the guy who was wearing the mask.

"I’m called Stark. Not a mister either. Just Stark," said the previously mentioned masked fellow. Who was looking a little bewildered to be up in the front of a classroom.

That was Anders’s adorable persuasiveness at work. Or possibly just the allure of the subject matter. "So." Anders smacked his hands together loudly. "Cupcake War Crimes. Sounds pretty fr-- Ahem. Pretty serious, huh? Way more serious than baked goods should be? Wrong. Cupcakes are serious business. And that includes doing ‘em right."

"Very serious," Stark said. "Very, very serious." Stark took his baked good seriously. Especially cupcakes. "Most serious when the cupcakes are done wrong. So we want to show how you not to do that. Not to do them wrong. Not like they do on the cupcake war show on the tv." Stark had seen one episode of Cupcake Wars and been horrified by it. Further episodes had only led to more horror.

Anders turned to one of two trays of cupcakes up on the front counter. "Like this," he said, indicating what seemed like a totally innocuous, yummy-looking treat. "Wasabi and tuna have no business being in a cupcake. Neither do beer and sauerkraut."

"No business at all," Stark added, glaring at the offending pastries. "Some things should never be done to cupcakes. Ever. At all. It’s not right. Chocolate goes in cupcakes. Not fish. Fish go in water!"

Anders let the appalling concoctions stay on display for a little while longer, so the true horror of them could sink in, before finally taking pity on everyone and covering them up. It was okay, though! There was a second display on the tray he uncovered next. "Chocolate marshmallow cupcakes, for example. Or ginger lemon. We’ll go into a little more depth about ways to do cupcakes really right and really wrong for the rest of the term, but for this week, take a cupcake, introduce yourself if you feel like it, and try to come up with things you think should never go into cupcakes. Easy enough, right?"

"Don’t take the bad cupcakes," Stark advised. He had tried one in an attempt to be open-minded and would likely never recover from the trauma. And considering some of Stark’s other traumas, that was really saying a lot. "And we need someone. One of you. To assist with the cupcakes. Or the teaching. Or both. If anyone wants to do that, tell us. Please."

[OOC: ETA -- argh, I knew I forgot an OCD thread, so feel free to mingle all you want in the introductions thread. Sorry, guys. Really off my game this week.]

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