fandomhigh | The Science of Sexuality, Monday

After there was a ~~so damn handwavey~~ announcement for that Ethics class of Skywalker’s to join them today, there might have been a few new faces. This could only bode well for all the students. Really now.

Really.

“Hello, all,” John began, as jovially as he could, “We... have been speaking to professor Skywalker about our efforts here, and we thought it might be a good idea to, er, team up. To teach you all about childcare.”

“As he is the expert,” Sherlock chimed in dryly. Because that was helpful today.

Anakin glared at Sherlock. “Ethics class has traditionally worked with droid babies to teach you the downside of lust combined with ineffective birth control. Pairing up our classes seemed logical.” Until he remembered he’d be working with Sherlock.

John discretely maneuvered himself between Anakin and Sherlock. Discretely. “Right. So we’ve talked about pregnancy, and about everything that happens when you’re pregnant. As well as birth control,” he continued. “This is just the next step. We want you to take care of these babies until next Monday.” He smiled. Or tried to. “I... hope you all kept the folders we gave you.”

“And if you neglected to prepare,” Sherlock began with a faint smile. “Well. I suppose now would be the time to research. Wouldn’t you?”

“As well as you can, at least,” Anakin grumbled. “Children don’t come with owner’s manuals.” He’d checked. “The droid babies will react like any other child: you can’t leave them alone for even a minute, they’ll demand food, dry bottoms, naps and to be held and babbled at. If they don’t get what they want, they’ll cry.”

Loudly. For hours.

“And no one wants that,” said John. Who didn’t have any kids. And never really expected to have any. “So take good care of them. We’ll know if you don’t.”

… And he suspected that between his two co-conspirators, that was kind of terrifyingly true.

[[ ocd up and open! don't worry - we have plans to make sure the robobabies are Not An Issue over the weekend. ]]

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Warren tried not to wince too obviously at the noise that the kid made, but so help him, it was a pretty tooth-gritting kind of sound.

"Okay... That makes sense." See, he could handle that much! "Should we... I don't know... name her, or something?"

"I suppose that might put us in a better frame of mind for the exercise than calling it the machine," Cally reflected, tongue only half in cheek. It was difficult to think that way of something she could feel wasn't alive, but ... "Would you like to try holding it? Er, her?"

"I guess I'm going to have to, huh?" Warren gave Cally a wry smile as he held his arms out for the droid baby. Support the head. Okay. He could handle that. "Any suggestions for a name? I'm really not the go-to guy for girls' names. The amount that I know that aren't already taken from classmates..."

Kinda low.

Cally carefully handed the momentarily quiet baby across to him. "We could name her for what we hope she'll be like," she said thoughtfully.

Because that always worked.

"Hmm. Serena? Sunny? Joy?"

Who was Warren to argue with a naming scheme like that? Especially while he was busy awkwardly trying to fit the baby into his arms, supporting all of her little fragile robo-baby parts.

"Joy, I like," he offered, smiling faintly. "I mean, so far as names go... it's simple. But I think it's... nice?"

Being terrible at naming kind of ran in his family. This baby was lucky to be a girl, or she might have wound up with a number.

"Joy, then," Cally said, returning the smile. "No younger siblings for you, I take it?" Not that she had any either, but that seemed to be the way that most human kids got used to having infants around.

"None," Warren confirmed, looking down at the baby with a kind of wide-eyed 'oh God am I doing this right?' look. "I never really spent much time around little kids, unless you count the weekends around here where they've just sort of shown up. And even then, they were way older than Joy, here."

Assuming, of course, that Joy was a new Robobaby, and hadn't been in use as a student torture-device for years, now.

"Mine as well; they were six and ten." Cally studied his hold and though she could see the nerves there, it was more or less correct. "I'm not sure whether it would have been horrible if they'd all been babies, or better. At least babies aren't able to run about and get into trouble."

Edited 2011-03-28 21:19 (UTC)

"That's true," Warren agreed, falling into a bit of a back-and-forth sway. Mostly because he'd seen mothers do that with their little kids on the television all the time. "And older kids are pretty likely to keep you up all hours of the night, too."

"Especially if you feed them doughnuts for breakfast." In retrospect, that had not been the best idea.

"Oooh, sugar rush." Warren grimaced a little in sympathy. That would have been a difficult lesson to learn, right there. "The worst I had to deal with was a what-toppings-go-on-the-pizza crisis. And that one is easy enough to solve."

Especially with pockets as deep as Warren's.

"So... Who wants to take care of Joy first?" He glanced down at the baby in his arms again. He was... kind of sure that she was sleeping, but this was Warren, and a fake kid. There was definitely a margin for error, there.

Oh, she was sleeping. Or "sleeping" at least. You could tell by the silence.

Cally only hoped that lasted.

"I can take her, if you'd like. I don't have work until Thursday."

"That would work just fine with me," Warren replied, thankful for the temporary reprieve. "I mean... not that I'm anxious to get her off my hands or anything. But if you already have experience, you can... get to know her a little?"

Warren's brilliant scheme: Let Cally do it first, so that she could warn him about things like 'she likes the strained peas, but just screams louder if you try carrots.'

Or whatever the droidbaby equivalent was.

Cally grinned lightly. "You're just hoping I manage to break her before it's your turn, aren't you."

Edited 2011-03-29 18:04 (UTC)

"What? With all your experience?" Warren gave a soft laugh and shook his head. "I'm more worried that I'll manage to break her before you even get a chance."

Honest!

"You seem to be doing fine so far."

When would she learn no to say things like that in Fandom?

Sometime after the cough, the snuffle, and the high-pitched wail started up, probably.

The Science of Sexuality, Monday

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