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fandomhigh2011-03-14 08:06 am
3patchproblem.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2011-03-14 08:06 am
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The Science of Sexuality, Monday
After the ever lovely visit from family on the weekend, Sherlock was in fine form. Meaning he wasn’t exactly at his most friendly. Then again, when was he ever?
“While I have been informed that Doctor Watson has shown you something that could be construed as scientific on the subject of childbirth while I was ill, I do hope you didn’t believe we would miss the point before that.”
“It covered cell division and pregnancy, too,” John said, helpfully. “However, that does not cover the process on the outside, so to speak. That’s what we’ll be covering today.”
Sherlock rolled his eyes. “It was a cartoon,” he sniped. Because that was helpful for the class. Really.
“As I would assume the majority of you are aware, pregnancy involved the fertilization of an egg. Which can happen from either the regrettably natural process of intercourse or artificially.” Ugh. People needed to stop adding to the stupidity of the world. “As Doctor Watson here would tell you, the process is not complete there, the now fertilized egg needs to attach itself to the uterine wall or else there won’t be any release of progesterone to keep the woman from menstruating. Progesterone also lowers the immune system in the woman in order for her body to accept the embryo.”
“Which causes a great deal of symptoms, especially when the blood sugar levels start changing because of your shifting hormones. This is one of the main causes for the nausea often associated with pregnancy,” John continued, fluidly. “It can also cause acne, and makes the woman more sensitive to temperature changes. It can also make her a bit less than motivated.”
Sherlock sighed and continued on, waving his hand as if to move this along. “Once the embryo is attached to the uterine wall and begins to form the placenta, growth from there continues on at a rapid pace with the nutrients now granted to it. Between the fifth and sixth weeks of the pregnancy, the vital organs and then more recognizable features of the fetus begin to form all the way until the second trimester.”
“A time when it’s good to stop smoking or drinking,” John said. He wasn’t going to sigh at Sherlock. He wasn’t. “The embryo is fairly susceptible to contaminants and infections at this point. That wears off around the third month, at which point we’re speaking of a fetus, not an embryo any longer. By the fourth month, the mother’s hormones will be stabilised, and all the pains and inconveniences of early pregnancy will start to, ah, fade.”
“For a visual example of the growth of the fetus over this time,” Sherlock said, ignoring John’s judgemental non-sighs as he typed away at the laptop until the images popped up on the board. “We have the first month of pregnancy, the third, the fifth and finally, the ninth.”
“By the fifth month, the mother will desperately be needing wider clothes,” John said, in an equally desperate attempt to make a joke. “From then on, it is relatively smooth sailing until the eighth month, when the troubles of early pregnancy, such as dizziness and heartburn, return. As well as problems like back pains. By the ninth month, you can add false labor pains, also known as Braxton- Hicks contractions, to the list. In the ideal case, all of this is then topped off by actual labor, and a child is born.”
Don’t think he can’t sense you rolling your eyes, Sherlock.
“Huzzah,” Sherlock deadpanned. “You have brought another moron into the world.”
“A child,” John corrected, “Which is wonderful.” SHUT UP, SHERLOCK.
Sherlock just sighed at that, waving over toward the empathy bellies that lay waiting for the students. “You’re all to wear one for a slightly more accurate idea of what carrying a child will be like.” He smiled. “And yes, this does include the male students.”
“While I have been informed that Doctor Watson has shown you something that could be construed as scientific on the subject of childbirth while I was ill, I do hope you didn’t believe we would miss the point before that.”
“It covered cell division and pregnancy, too,” John said, helpfully. “However, that does not cover the process on the outside, so to speak. That’s what we’ll be covering today.”
Sherlock rolled his eyes. “It was a cartoon,” he sniped. Because that was helpful for the class. Really.
“As I would assume the majority of you are aware, pregnancy involved the fertilization of an egg. Which can happen from either the regrettably natural process of intercourse or artificially.” Ugh. People needed to stop adding to the stupidity of the world. “As Doctor Watson here would tell you, the process is not complete there, the now fertilized egg needs to attach itself to the uterine wall or else there won’t be any release of progesterone to keep the woman from menstruating. Progesterone also lowers the immune system in the woman in order for her body to accept the embryo.”
“Which causes a great deal of symptoms, especially when the blood sugar levels start changing because of your shifting hormones. This is one of the main causes for the nausea often associated with pregnancy,” John continued, fluidly. “It can also cause acne, and makes the woman more sensitive to temperature changes. It can also make her a bit less than motivated.”
Sherlock sighed and continued on, waving his hand as if to move this along. “Once the embryo is attached to the uterine wall and begins to form the placenta, growth from there continues on at a rapid pace with the nutrients now granted to it. Between the fifth and sixth weeks of the pregnancy, the vital organs and then more recognizable features of the fetus begin to form all the way until the second trimester.”
“A time when it’s good to stop smoking or drinking,” John said. He wasn’t going to sigh at Sherlock. He wasn’t. “The embryo is fairly susceptible to contaminants and infections at this point. That wears off around the third month, at which point we’re speaking of a fetus, not an embryo any longer. By the fourth month, the mother’s hormones will be stabilised, and all the pains and inconveniences of early pregnancy will start to, ah, fade.”
“For a visual example of the growth of the fetus over this time,” Sherlock said, ignoring John’s judgemental non-sighs as he typed away at the laptop until the images popped up on the board. “We have the first month of pregnancy, the third, the fifth and finally, the ninth.”
“By the fifth month, the mother will desperately be needing wider clothes,” John said, in an equally desperate attempt to make a joke. “From then on, it is relatively smooth sailing until the eighth month, when the troubles of early pregnancy, such as dizziness and heartburn, return. As well as problems like back pains. By the ninth month, you can add false labor pains, also known as Braxton- Hicks contractions, to the list. In the ideal case, all of this is then topped off by actual labor, and a child is born.”
Don’t think he can’t sense you rolling your eyes, Sherlock.
“Huzzah,” Sherlock deadpanned. “You have brought another moron into the world.”
“A child,” John corrected, “Which is wonderful.” SHUT UP, SHERLOCK.
Sherlock just sighed at that, waving over toward the empathy bellies that lay waiting for the students. “You’re all to wear one for a slightly more accurate idea of what carrying a child will be like.” He smiled. “And yes, this does include the male students.”
Re: Be Pregnant
He really did not want to put this thing on.