The Science of Sexuality, Monday

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

After the ever lovely visit from family on the weekend, Sherlock was in fine form. Meaning he wasn’t exactly at his most friendly. Then again, when was he ever?

“While I have been informed that Doctor Watson has shown you something that could be construed as scientific on the subject of childbirth while I was ill, I do hope you didn’t believe we would miss the point before that.”

“It covered cell division and pregnancy, too,” John said, helpfully. “However, that does not cover the process on the outside, so to speak. That’s what we’ll be covering today.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes. “It was a cartoon,” he sniped. Because that was helpful for the class. Really.

“As I would assume the majority of you are aware, pregnancy involved the fertilization of an egg. Which can happen from either the regrettably natural process of intercourse or artificially.” Ugh. People needed to stop adding to the stupidity of the world. “As Doctor Watson here would tell you, the process is not complete there, the now fertilized egg needs to attach itself to the uterine wall or else there won’t be any release of progesterone to keep the woman from menstruating. Progesterone also lowers the immune system in the woman in order for her body to accept the embryo.”

“Which causes a great deal of symptoms, especially when the blood sugar levels start changing because of your shifting hormones. This is one of the main causes for the nausea often associated with pregnancy,” John continued, fluidly. “It can also cause acne, and makes the woman more sensitive to temperature changes. It can also make her a bit less than motivated.”

Sherlock sighed and continued on, waving his hand as if to move this along. “Once the embryo is attached to the uterine wall and begins to form the placenta, growth from there continues on at a rapid pace with the nutrients now granted to it. Between the fifth and sixth weeks of the pregnancy, the vital organs and then more recognizable features of the fetus begin to form all the way until the second trimester.”

“A time when it’s good to stop smoking or drinking,” John said. He wasn’t going to sigh at Sherlock. He wasn’t. “The embryo is fairly susceptible to contaminants and infections at this point. That wears off around the third month, at which point we’re speaking of a fetus, not an embryo any longer. By the fourth month, the mother’s hormones will be stabilised, and all the pains and inconveniences of early pregnancy will start to, ah, fade.”

“For a visual example of the growth of the fetus over this time,” Sherlock said, ignoring John’s judgemental non-sighs as he typed away at the laptop until the images popped up on the board. “We have the first month of pregnancy, the third, the fifth and finally, the ninth.”

“By the fifth month, the mother will desperately be needing wider clothes,” John said, in an equally desperate attempt to make a joke. “From then on, it is relatively smooth sailing until the eighth month, when the troubles of early pregnancy, such as dizziness and heartburn, return. As well as problems like back pains. By the ninth month, you can add false labor pains, also known as Braxton- Hicks contractions, to the list. In the ideal case, all of this is then topped off by actual labor, and a child is born.”

Don’t think he can’t sense you rolling your eyes, Sherlock.

“Huzzah,” Sherlock deadpanned. “You have brought another moron into the world.”

“A child,” John corrected, “Which is wonderful.” SHUT UP, SHERLOCK.

Sherlock just sighed at that, waving over toward the empathy bellies that lay waiting for the students. “You’re all to wear one for a slightly more accurate idea of what carrying a child will be like.” He smiled. “And yes, this does include the male students.”

Comments

Sign In

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Preggers!

Re: Sign In

[onlymistaken]

Cally the best you get is her twin taking care of some genebanks

Re: Sign In

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan Young

Listen to the Lecture

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Isn't biology grand?

Re: Listen to the Lecture

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

After that weekend of having a random kid show up, Nathan still didn't want to think of these things happening to him and whatever girl he might be making it with.

So, he sat there with a sour look on his face the entire time and tried to repress the lecture

Be Pregnant

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Try on that empathy belly. It'll be fun!

Re: Be Pregnant

[tripledmyself.livejournal.com]

Nathan picked up one of the empathy bellies and just stared at it. He was egotistical enough to think this was payback for the water balloons the other week.

He really did not want to put this thing on.

Re: Be Pregnant

[chief-cheerio.livejournal.com]

Quinn tried it on, waddled forward a few steps, and paused to whine as she pouted down at the tummy. "This is gross. I look like I swallowed a watermelon."

She was grateful it was only pretend.

Re: Be Pregnant

[elephantgadget.livejournal.com]

Helen tried it on with a sigh. It felt vastly uncomfortable, and yet, there was some part of her that wondered what it would be like to truly have a new life inside of her.

And for a moment she just let herself imagine...

Re: Be Pregnant

[glacial_queen]

"Well, this is hardly comfortable," Karla grumbled.

On the other hand, she still had her Craft! So it wasn't quite as bad as this would be if she were to experience this for real. Having to have her Jewel drained for her every few weeks so the power didn't harm the baby was just one more joy she could look forward to if she did take the path of motherhood.

Re: Be Pregnant

[icecoldfrost]

"Which is why I don't plan on doing it," Emma quipped, flopping next to her friend. Never mind that she actually adored children. "I'd have to manage nine months without turning shiny by accident, and that's not going to happen."

Re: Be Pregnant

[theotherpeter.livejournal.com]

Peter grabbed an empathy belly and just shook his head.

"I have a zero percent chance of pregnancy. What exactly do I need to put this on for?"

Re: Be Pregnant

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

"So that... when your future wife-- or girlfriend-- gets pregnant," John said, lightlyy, "You'll be equipped with all the tools you need to avoid saying anything that might lead to her murdering you."

Re: Be Pregnant

[icecoldfrost]

Emma just poked at it and made a face. "How the hell did Hazel do this four times, and not lose her figure entirely?" she wondered aloud. "Especially in the age before celebrity diets and personal trainers."

Re: Be Pregnant

[onlymistaken]

Clones. Genebanks. Clones. Our embryos are different (and gestate in a day).

Among the many, many things Cally didn't say aloud as she sighed and examined the prosthetic, trying to figure out how to fasten it.

Re: Be Pregnant

[wwiii]

Warren lifted up one of the belly things with one hand and gave it what was possibly the weirdest look ever.

"I... uh... have a bit of a technical difficulty," he reported, spreading one wing slightly in demonstration.

Sure, he could probably fold them flat enough to get that thing on over the top of them, but there was that added issue of him growing up in a harness, and being frighteningly likely to punch someone in the face if he had to strap his wings down for anything again.

Re: Be Pregnant

[angelo_wings]

Rinoa couldn't help but be intrigued by his problem. After all, she still wasn't sure how her clothes didn't tear every time her own wings appeared.

"Can you cut holes in it?" she asked. "They'd only need to be little ones, if you fold your feathers down right."

Re: Be Pregnant

[glacial_queen]

Karla just stood there wearing the giant pregnant-belly thing and sulked at him.

Sulked.

Re: Be Pregnant

[angelo_wings]

Rinoa was having a bizarre, panicky reaction to the whole idea of being pregnant, right now. Stuck inside her, wouldn't get out --

This, of course, had far more to do with the insane bitch in her head than the theoretical much-loved fetus-to-be in her uterus.

So she strapped on the belly and tried awkwardly not to bump into things.

Re: Be Pregnant

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

As Bruce strapped on the empathy belly, it occurred to him that it would be an excellent place to store some weapons.

Bruce really didn't think of things the way other people did. But in fairness, he was probably never going to get pregnant except through some very bizarre meddling with science or magic.

Talk to the Teachers

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

When they tag in.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[justhisblogger.livejournal.com]

John was there and happy to answer any questions. After his mun finally limped back home from insane project. And/or avoid mocking the students too hard.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Sherlock might have mocked the students if he looked up from the laptop for five seconds. Because he was busy mocking the people on his website.

OOC

[3patchproblem.livejournal.com]

Laaaaa.

Re: OOC

[theotherpeter.livejournal.com]

And just to be clear: Peter being a bitchface is Peter, and not me OOCly making comments about the class.

I did fishslapping. How could I criticize anything?