fandomhigh | The Science of Sexuality, Monday

Sherlock would have spent the period ranting about how every single person in his class needed to wave a tube tied or snipped to prevent the abominations of this weekend from coming true. But John had actually put his foot down on the matter. The bastard.

"Today was scheduled to be about the importance of contraceptives, but somehow I think the presence I'd your little spawn has done it for me," he said with less a smile and more twitch at the corner of his mouth. "So. I'm certain Doctor Watson could give you the names of a few clinics to prevent this past weekend from ever happening. John?"

John... was going to ignore him today. Especially after making him deal with Kasei for most of the weekend. "What I think would be useful for all of you is some folders about, er, parenting," he said, determined not to flounder on this one. He had many folders. Many many folders in many colours. "Make sure all of your children are bathed and fed, and if any of them are showing any signs of illness this weekend, please bring them by the clinic. Having children is perfectly natural, no matter what my colleague might say, though I'd hope you'll all... wait until you're a bit older."

Sherlock slouched low in his seat, ignoring John like the healthy, mature, responsible adult that he was. "A beauty and a joy, I'm sure."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you made a pass at miss Kuukaku," John said, like the equally healthy, mature, responsible adult he was.

"Jealousy is hardly becoming, John." No, they weren't giving off a heterosexual impression today.

"You could at least try to feed your own child!"

... No. No, they were not. Maybe they could slip out unnoticed among all the children? Please?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

//What's con-tra-cept-ive, Mummy?//

Cally didn't mind the question, so much the volume at which it was broadcast. Pretty much anyone with the least amount of psi talent would be covering their metaphorical ears.

"Inside voice, Sjoerd."

Which, well, it had been, but there was inside inside voice, and then there was that.

//It's something that stops people from making children by accident.//

//Stupid long name for Big Yellow Button on the replication unit!//

Replication was a lot easier to pronounce in your head than out loud. So was con-tra-ceptive.

//....Something like that.//

Cally made a mental note to explain to him later if... there was a later. She could always pin a note to his clothing. Dear future self...

*Cont-tra-cepty brews are what Mama makes for the Blood, and she says I'm their best salesperson.* Dahlia shared, equally as loudly.

*She makes it for her and Daddy, too!* Nommy added, not wanting to be left out of the conversation. *She calls it her two're enough tea!*

Karla would just be slowing sinking into her chair and hoping the Nommy had remembered to keep it on a focused thread and not just broadcast to anyone in the room.

[Props go to

icecoldfrost for the comment and anyone can feel free to have 'heard' that in their heads.]

Cally just covered her mouth and tried to pretend she hadn't heard that and didn't think it was funny, neither of which was true.

Emma? Not even pretending she hadn't heard it.

She was outright snickering at poor Karla, even as she whispered to Dahlia that we don't share things like that with strangers, because Mama didn't have enough time to make some for everyone.

And Karla was pretending to ignore it all, drawing a picture for Della who was a nice, quiet daughter.

Oh, and sulk. One mustn't forget the sulking.

//Just two?// Sjoerd replied, to no one's surprise on as close to an 'open channel' as Auron telepathy got. //Everybody I know but me has lots and lots of sibs!//

Or, you know, eight, which was the most the replication chambers would make at a time. But he was six; his maths concepts only went so high.

Edited 2011-02-14 19:53 (UTC)

*Just two usually,* Nommy said. *That's my sister,* he pointed at Kayla, the other child with wings, *an' that's our Daddy,* he pointed at Warren, *but this weekend I have six sisters!*

He said it in the same tragic tones that Karla had adopted when speaking of her seven children. *Sisters are gross!*

Sjoerd shrugged a little. //I have one here too, but at home it's just me. Dad said one more of him was weird enough.//

He was probably not supposed to have heard that. He was probably not supposed to hear a lot of things.

*Mommy says that I can have a baby brother or sister if Daddy promises to carry the feetsus in a paper bag,* Nommy offered cheerfully. *Daddy says having babies makes Mommy cranky.*

...Karla was just going to move on to slowly thudding her forehead against the desk.

//...That's silly. Feetses go in shoes!// Duuuuh.

*No sir!* Kayla didn't like agreeing with her brother, but she couldn't let this strange boy prove him wrong, either. He means a baby-baby. A baby before it's borned.

//Those go in brood units! Mum says that's where baby sisters come from and I might have some someday but not yet.//

And then there was something about Dad looking like a pack of wolves were attacking every time the subject came up.

//My mom and dad say just me is all they can handle// Annika supplied, rather smugly. //And sometimes they talk about whether Dad should get fixed, but I don't know how he's broken.//

Just in case anyone in class was interested. In fact, even if they weren't, Annika didn't like being left out of the conversation.

*It means bein' spayed,* Kayla replied matter-of-factly. *Elizabeth's kitty Joni had to get fixed so she can't have no kittens. And that's called bein' spayed.*

Jack would just loooove to hear that, surely.

An ocean away, Jack -- as unpsychic as he was -- no doubt winced and crossed his legs.

Annika took a moment to process that. She could make the kittens-are-like-babies connection easily enough, but -- //Except Dad's a boy,// she pointed out. //And I still don't get why it's called getting fixed. Weird name for it.//

The Science of Sexuality, Monday

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