Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 1)

[prof_of_cunning]

At the front of the decidedly ordinary classroom stood two men in Regency clothing - if one stretched the definition of man quite a bit for the shorter one. "Good morning; this is Dealing With Idiots class. If you're not meant to be here, you've just failed today's first test of whether you're intelligent enough to take it; get out." Which of course required a sigh and grabbing someone by the collar. "Not you, Baldrick. For once."

Edmund pointed to the small, scruffy, and thoroughly smellable man whose collar he was somewhat gingerly holding. "This is Baldrick, your object lesson. The good news is that he won't be here for every class. The other good news is that I will; my name is Edmund Blackadder. You can call me Mister Blackadder or sir to my face, call me anything you like behind my back, as long as I don't hear about it. Baldrick, what happens if I hear about it?"

Baldrick paused as if trying to recall it from his very small store of available memory, then his face brightened. "You punch me in the kidney?"

"Not always; sometimes I punch you in the face." Edmund released Baldrick's collar and wiped his hand fastidiously on the front of his frock coat. "I'm given to understand that the school has some ridiculous 21st Century rules about teachers meting out physical violence to students, but rest assured I'll find something equally unpleasant to do to you, possibly involving doing Baldrick's laundry by hand."

"...Laundry?"

"It's when you wash your clothes. Not actually a 21st Century concept, just one you've been incapable of grasping for the last thirty-five years." Edmund turned his attention back to the class to add, "With those preliminaries out of the way, let's get on to you. Everybody who isn't an imbecile has to suffer them; I suffer more than most, so I'm uniquely qualified to teach you how to do so -- but there's no point in it if you're not worth the effort, so today is about winnowing the wheat from the--"

"Turnips!"

"......Fine, let's go with that."

[OCD is up - have at it!]

Comments

Sign In [1/7/2011]

[prof_of_cunning]

Like you're smart enough to be in this class.

Re: Sign In [1/7/2011]

[likes_scoundrels]

Leia Organa

Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[prof_of_cunning]

Also for passing notes, putting clothespins on your nose to avoid the smell of Baldrick, and quietly mocking the teacher.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex made sure to keep a hand close to his nose in case that Baldrick guy got too close to him. He did not need to be smelling that odor the rest of the damn day.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[pyromanyac.livejournal.com]

...She almost felt sorry for the alleged idiot with the teacher, but then again, he did smell.

She wasn't so sure about the whole violence thing, though.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[likes_scoundrels]

Every semester Leia seemed to end up in a class designed solely to make her facepalm. This semester was no exception.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

Squall wasn't sure whether to idolize or have contempt for this teacher.

He settled the question by doing what he would have done anyway: not care one way or the other.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

Well that second gentleman certainly was...pungent. Rilla tried not to wrinkle her nose up too obviously.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[furnaceface]

It was days like this that Jonothon found himself thoroughly thankful that his sense of smell was no longer what it used to be. Baldrick even looked smelly.

Re: Listen To the Lecture/Chatter Before Class

[nohaircutsplz]

Everything smelled terrible to Medusalith anyway, but she'd gotten used to it. While she noticed that it seemed even worse in here, she didn't think anything of it, and assumed that if she asked about it everyone would have no clue what she was talking about, as per usual.

Introductions

[prof_of_cunning]

"Name, why you think you belong in this class, and how far you'd go to bribe me for a passing grade."

Re: Introductions

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

"Alex Karev. I belong in this class because majority of people in this world are stupid and I'd rather learn to deal with them then have them kill me with their idiotic ways."

As for the second question, Alex shrugged.

"I probably wouldn't try and bribe you at all. If I fail, I fail. Whatever."

Re: Introductions

[likes_scoundrels]

"Leia Organa," Leia said. "I deal with idiots on a regular basis" -- most of the time she was diplomatic enough not to tell them that -- "so I suppose knowing techniques for dealing with them would be useful."

Re: Introductions

[whateverknight.livejournal.com]

"Squall Leonhart. I'd like to learn how to seem less rude when I have to deal with idiots."

He narrowed his eyes at Blackadder. "And if you think I'm going to bribe you, you're the idiot."

Re: Introductions

[need-no-moon.livejournal.com]

"Jacob Black. I'm here because there's too many idiots around," he said, not caring if it sounded much like Alex answer as it was just true. Especially if you had to deal with leeches. "I'd... get you a coffee?"

The one, he wasn't that bothered.

Re: Introductions

[rilla-myrilla.livejournal.com]

"I'm Rilla Blythe," she said, trying not to lisp, "and I've just come from a clath taught by an insane person who believeth he's a character from children's literature."

Rilla had no problems believing that Arthur, future King of the Britons, had attended the school. Captain Hook was quite another matter.

"Clearly I will need all you can teach me in order to not make a scene in my other course."

Re: Introductions

[wesleynotponcy.livejournal.com]

Wesley was just the tiniest bit disturbed by this guy, but that didn't stop him from doing a highly puffed-up introduction. Yeah, he was still trying to be a teacher's pet. Good luck with that, Wes.

"My name is Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, I am in this class because I frequently need to converse with people less intelligent than myself." Nathan, he was talking to you. "And I don't particularly expect to need to arrange any bribes to ensure that I pass."

Re: Introductions

[pyromanyac.livejournal.com]

"Charlie McGee. I was designated to this class without my knowledge...but I can see its uses."

A beat, as she considered what to say next. Because she felt like saying some things.

"I'm not an idiot to go and bribe a teacher on a Dealing with Idiots class. And I don't need to bribe you."

Re: Introductions

[gorka-wolf.livejournal.com]

"Makita of Nokgorka, and I need the class because the Elders tell me that I need to find better ways of dealing with stupid people than hitting them or heaping scathing shame upon their ancestors."

Really, Maki didn't see what the problem was. If she pressured bullied shamed someone into doing what she wanted, wasn't that good enough?

Re: Introductions

[awesomebigsis.livejournal.com]

"Ellie Bartowski. I'm here because a large portion of the population are idiots, so might as well learn to deal with them," she said with a shrug.

Raising an eyebrow, she added, "And I don't think I need to bribe you to pass."

Re: Introductions

[glacial_queen]

"I'm Karla and I'm here because I've been I used to make my tutor cry with my approach to diplomacy and politics," Karla explained easily. "And since a lot of politics involves being diplomatic towards idiots..." She shrugged. "It seemed appropriate."

Re: Introductions

[furnaceface]

//Jonothon Starsmore,// Jono said, his glower around the room just daring anybody to say anything about his voice, today. //And I'm taking this class because th'world is full of bloody berks, and all attempts to ignore them have, to date, proven unsuccessful.//

He crossed his arms over his chest and raised an eyebrow at Blackadder. //We'll negotiate bribes provided this course proves to be worth passing, come semester's end.//

Advanced Testing

[prof_of_cunning]

"I call this test 'Prove you're not too stupid to live' but as the school also frowns on me killing you, I've adapted it to 'Prove you're not too stupid to take this course.'"

Edmund held up a pair of puffy blue silk trousers, which yes, looked a lot like Victorian bloomers, because by his grandson's time they'd have learned to wear their underwear on the inside of their clothes like normal people.

"If you can manage to put these on by yourself, you're both eligible to remain in this class, and a better candidate for the throne of Great Britain than the current holder of that position in my time. If you can't, please leave."

Re: Advanced Testing

[fratboybitch.livejournal.com]

Alex...was just going to stare at those for a moment. Really? Wouldn't an idiot be an idiot if he put those ugly things on? Those were just...ew.

He did reach for them and eyed them disdainfully but didn't make a move to put them on.

Talk to Blackadder

[prof_of_cunning]

He's both there, and standing upwind of Baldrick.

OOC

[prof_of_cunning]

And thus goes my first ever class as a teacher who's actually a teacher and not just Xander teaching Scoobying. Please don't eat me.

Re: OOC

[likes_scoundrels]

NOM NOM NOM