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fandomhigh2011-01-07 10:22 am
prof_of_cunning) wrote in fandomhigh2011-01-07 10:22 am
Entry tags:
Dealing With Idiots | Friday | Period 4 (Session 1)
At the front of the decidedly ordinary classroom stood two men in Regency clothing - if one stretched the definition of man quite a bit for the shorter one. "Good morning; this is Dealing With Idiots class. If you're not meant to be here, you've just failed today's first test of whether you're intelligent enough to take it; get out." Which of course required a sigh and grabbing someone by the collar. "Not you, Baldrick. For once."
Edmund pointed to the small, scruffy, and thoroughly smellable man whose collar he was somewhat gingerly holding. "This is Baldrick, your object lesson. The good news is that he won't be here for every class. The other good news is that I will; my name is Edmund Blackadder. You can call me Mister Blackadder or sir to my face, call me anything you like behind my back, as long as I don't hear about it. Baldrick, what happens if I hear about it?"
Baldrick paused as if trying to recall it from his very small store of available memory, then his face brightened. "You punch me in the kidney?"
"Not always; sometimes I punch you in the face." Edmund released Baldrick's collar and wiped his hand fastidiously on the front of his frock coat. "I'm given to understand that the school has some ridiculous 21st Century rules about teachers meting out physical violence to students, but rest assured I'll find something equally unpleasant to do to you, possibly involving doing Baldrick's laundry by hand."
"...Laundry?"
"It's when you wash your clothes. Not actually a 21st Century concept, just one you've been incapable of grasping for the last thirty-five years." Edmund turned his attention back to the class to add, "With those preliminaries out of the way, let's get on to you. Everybody who isn't an imbecile has to suffer them; I suffer more than most, so I'm uniquely qualified to teach you how to do so -- but there's no point in it if you're not worth the effort, so today is about winnowing the wheat from the--"
"Turnips!"
"......Fine, let's go with that."
[OCD is up - have at it!]
Edmund pointed to the small, scruffy, and thoroughly smellable man whose collar he was somewhat gingerly holding. "This is Baldrick, your object lesson. The good news is that he won't be here for every class. The other good news is that I will; my name is Edmund Blackadder. You can call me Mister Blackadder or sir to my face, call me anything you like behind my back, as long as I don't hear about it. Baldrick, what happens if I hear about it?"
Baldrick paused as if trying to recall it from his very small store of available memory, then his face brightened. "You punch me in the kidney?"
"Not always; sometimes I punch you in the face." Edmund released Baldrick's collar and wiped his hand fastidiously on the front of his frock coat. "I'm given to understand that the school has some ridiculous 21st Century rules about teachers meting out physical violence to students, but rest assured I'll find something equally unpleasant to do to you, possibly involving doing Baldrick's laundry by hand."
"...Laundry?"
"It's when you wash your clothes. Not actually a 21st Century concept, just one you've been incapable of grasping for the last thirty-five years." Edmund turned his attention back to the class to add, "With those preliminaries out of the way, let's get on to you. Everybody who isn't an imbecile has to suffer them; I suffer more than most, so I'm uniquely qualified to teach you how to do so -- but there's no point in it if you're not worth the effort, so today is about winnowing the wheat from the--"
"Turnips!"
"......Fine, let's go with that."
[OCD is up - have at it!]
Re: Introductions
No, he looked forward to having a rather large drink tonight and convincing himself that her hairline and eyebrowlessness were the result of a slippery razor and another rather large drink.