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Library [12-8]

Dan didn't know why he braved the stinktastic bog outside the school to come here today. Maybe out of some nerd loyalty. Whatever the reason, he was here and pretending nothing weird was going on because denial was the best medicine. Or something.

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Perhaps not a wedge, so much. But he was reserving the right to worry. And, at the rate this was going, to wonder what she was keeping from him.

//I'm holding you to it,// he decided, finally, reaching for her hand again. //Th'sooner this is over, then, th'better.//

She gratefully took his hand, lacing her fingers with his. From the tangle of emotions in her head she pulled something she knew was real, her affections for him, and sent him a warm, gentle pulse. "May I have a hug?" she asked shyly.

Jono ducked his head a little, almost smiling at that. The shyness was cute, at least. Much more Raven than the snarling and the jumping was.

//You may have a hug,// he agreed, though he did kind of slip a little sideways as he stepped forward to deliver. Really, he liked hugs, too. At least when he had a bit of warning about him.

[Bedtime for me! Night!]

She relaxed into the hug, grateful for the physical comfort and not wanting to let go any time soon. For a moment she longed to tell him everything, but she couldn't bring herself to form the words. It wasn't the right time. She was afraid of admitting the truth. She was certain she could find the strength to return herself to normal. Pick a reason.

She rested her head against his shoulder, fingers curling into the hair at the back of his neck. "Why do you turn away like that?" she asked quietly.

//Because I want it to be me hugging you.//

... Well, Jono didn't see anything wrong with his logic, at least.

Raven slipped one hand from his back to press it against the wrappings covering his chest. "This is still you," she murmured.

She sighed softly and closed her eyes for a moment. For the first time since Sunday night she felt like herself again. Even her father's voice had faded.

Jono looked down at her hand, and then nodded a little. Yes, he supposed that it was, no matter how much he resented as much. He straightened out a little bit, even if he was still leading into the hug with his shoulder more than the rest of him.

Still him or not, he was ashamed of it, he was afraid of it. And if you asked him, anybody who wasn't had clearly never been burned before.

Raven kept her eyes closed for the moment, but she felt his shifting emotions. "I know it is not easy burden," she said, trying to focus on comfort and warmth to give to him. "But what I feel -- it is for all of you. Not just part."

Pity she couldn't apply the same thinking to herself.

//Even th'destructive parts.//

Jonothon would stop being a horribly counterproductive mope any moment now, honest.

//Can you accept that this is going to have to do, for now? At least until I'm ready?//

He had his moments. The trouble with them was, they were fleeting, and only really happened when he wasn't thinking very clearly to start with.

"Of course," Raven said, trying to ignore the pang in her heart. She couldn't afford to dwell on it and give her father another opening to try to taunt her. "And I will do my best not to push you." She managed a sad little smile. "I have been told I can be very 'pushy' at times."

//Mm, but generally with good reason,// Jono offered. //You want to make things better for people. I can appreciate that. But this... it's something you can't take away from me. I need this.//

The fear, yes. That loathing for what he was. It kept him from getting too comfortable with it, from using it in ways that powers like his should never be used.

... Or, at least, that was how Jono-logic approached it.

Raven knew a great deal about self-loathing. She just mostly hid it by focusing on others, which was exactly why she'd been drawn to Jono in the first place.

"One day you will not," she said, finally lifting her head. She raised her hand to brush her fingertips against his cheek above the wrappings if he'd let her. "One day you will see yourself how I see you. I have let you feel that already."

//You have,// Jono agreed, closing his eyes as her fingers touched his cheek. //And I don't know that I will... but I suppose I'll try.//

It was... not terribly likely that he would ever care for himself that way. But it was nice to think about, if nothing else.

"That is all I can ask," Raven said, stroking his face. Ask, not force. She'd never do that, no matter how much her father tried to tempt her. She had to maintain that control, no matter what.

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Library [12-8]

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