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fandomhigh2010-08-31 09:40 am
ivejustinvented.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-08-31 09:40 am
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The Mathmatics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 08/31 ].
Oh, joy. Another class of braindead idiot children to teach.
True, probably half of last semester's class were probably geniuses. That didn't matter. You had to be old and crotchety to earn that kind of intellectual respect. Farnsworth was fairly certain that this group was significantly lower in brainpower, just as they were lower in numbers. Not that he'd complain about that first part. At this rate, mathematically, next semester will be the semester he'd been hoping for, without a single soul in it.
With a wistful sigh, standing in front of the class room, that thought put a rare, happy smile on Farnsworth's face until he remembered where he was and instantly frowned again. Those impossibly youthful faces starting up at him, and he couldn't wait now to break them. Under his arm, he held an impressively large binder stuffed with papers, and, as he dropped it on the front desk with a loud whomp, he narrowed his eyes in distaste from behind his thick glasses. Which, of course, meant no one could probably even see the glare because they were so thick.
"This," he announced with the appropriate amount of surliness, "is the Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. In this class, I will teach you all about how you're all idiots, because the concepts we will be discussing are so expansive and important that it'll be far too much for your puny, developing minds to grasp and only emphasize the fact that you're doomed to a life of mediocrity and common stupidity."
Yes, it was the same speech as last time.
No, Farnsworth had no idea. He couldn't remember what he had for breakfast yesterday, much less what he had said in class last semester. It was all just an astonishing coincidink.
He flipped the binder open to the first page and gave the class what could have been a smile. It could have also have just been gas.
"Let's get started, shall we?"
"A neutrino is is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed. Almost. We'll have to cover all the fun stuff that can happen when they do get disturbed; it ain't pretty, like that giant zit on your nose, dark haired girl in that chair over there. They have a very small, nonzero mass, just like your brains, and are very difficult to detect, like ninjas, or signs of intelligent life in this classroom.
"Neutrinos are created as a result of certain types of radioactive decay or nuclear reactions such as those that take place in the Sun, in nuclear reactors, or when cosmic rays hit atoms. There are three types, or 'flavours', of neutrinos, like there are three basic flavors of ice cream: the vanilla electron neutrinos, the chololate muon neutrinos and Chunky Monkey tau neutrinos; each type also has a corresponding antiparticle, called antineutrinos. Electron neutrinos, or vanilneutrinos, are generated whenever protons change into neutrons, or the other way around, they sort of go both ways like my aunt Patti, the two forms of beta decay. They are currently, in the future, working on developing a new flavour of neutrino, chocolate pecan rocky road, but I hear the going is a little rough. Interactions involving neutrinos are mediated by the weak interaction betw--"
Farnsworth paused. The pause dragged out for a long moment, until, finally, it ended with what sounded like a long snore. The man seemed to have fallen asleep mid-lecture, but, with a bit of a cough, jerked himself back up again and continued.
"Now, quantum mechanics..."
Luckily for this class, Farnsworth had a chance to hone his speech for the second semester. Unluckily for them, honing in this case meant making it even longer and more complex. It still had to fit inside the timeframe of an hour, of course, but that hour would be one of the longest hours of these students lives, or so help him, he wasn't doing his job! That, in itself, could potentially be a nice example of the base of what Farnsworth might be trying to get at, but, on the same token, not even Farnsworth knew what he was trying to get at, since he was making it up as he went along. Again. In almost exactly the same fashion as before.
Cyclical history. Another fine topic they may or may not be exposed to, based on the whims of a crazy old man.
"...which is how Lady Gaga came to exist and why George W. Bush really got elected into office. Now." Farnsworth's arthritic hands pulled out a huge stack of papers; he all but disappeared behind them, even after they whumped onto the desk. "Your homework for this week. If you've been paying attention, it should be no trouble at all. There are some basic formulas to help you solve some equations. Only twenty pages, should be a breeze! And I also expect all of you to have square the circle by next week; it's very important. Come on up and get your packet, and you're free to go for the day. If you have any questions or concerns, I'm sure you'll try to tell me about them, but please don't, because I don't care and you'll just be wasting your breath, which probably smells like halitosis, puberty, and dirty lies."
[[ OCD ison its way up. Unfortunately. ]]
True, probably half of last semester's class were probably geniuses. That didn't matter. You had to be old and crotchety to earn that kind of intellectual respect. Farnsworth was fairly certain that this group was significantly lower in brainpower, just as they were lower in numbers. Not that he'd complain about that first part. At this rate, mathematically, next semester will be the semester he'd been hoping for, without a single soul in it.
With a wistful sigh, standing in front of the class room, that thought put a rare, happy smile on Farnsworth's face until he remembered where he was and instantly frowned again. Those impossibly youthful faces starting up at him, and he couldn't wait now to break them. Under his arm, he held an impressively large binder stuffed with papers, and, as he dropped it on the front desk with a loud whomp, he narrowed his eyes in distaste from behind his thick glasses. Which, of course, meant no one could probably even see the glare because they were so thick.
"This," he announced with the appropriate amount of surliness, "is the Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. In this class, I will teach you all about how you're all idiots, because the concepts we will be discussing are so expansive and important that it'll be far too much for your puny, developing minds to grasp and only emphasize the fact that you're doomed to a life of mediocrity and common stupidity."
Yes, it was the same speech as last time.
No, Farnsworth had no idea. He couldn't remember what he had for breakfast yesterday, much less what he had said in class last semester. It was all just an astonishing coincidink.
He flipped the binder open to the first page and gave the class what could have been a smile. It could have also have just been gas.
"Let's get started, shall we?"
"A neutrino is is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed. Almost. We'll have to cover all the fun stuff that can happen when they do get disturbed; it ain't pretty, like that giant zit on your nose, dark haired girl in that chair over there. They have a very small, nonzero mass, just like your brains, and are very difficult to detect, like ninjas, or signs of intelligent life in this classroom.
"Neutrinos are created as a result of certain types of radioactive decay or nuclear reactions such as those that take place in the Sun, in nuclear reactors, or when cosmic rays hit atoms. There are three types, or 'flavours', of neutrinos, like there are three basic flavors of ice cream: the vanilla electron neutrinos, the chololate muon neutrinos and Chunky Monkey tau neutrinos; each type also has a corresponding antiparticle, called antineutrinos. Electron neutrinos, or vanilneutrinos, are generated whenever protons change into neutrons, or the other way around, they sort of go both ways like my aunt Patti, the two forms of beta decay. They are currently, in the future, working on developing a new flavour of neutrino, chocolate pecan rocky road, but I hear the going is a little rough. Interactions involving neutrinos are mediated by the weak interaction betw--"
Farnsworth paused. The pause dragged out for a long moment, until, finally, it ended with what sounded like a long snore. The man seemed to have fallen asleep mid-lecture, but, with a bit of a cough, jerked himself back up again and continued.
"Now, quantum mechanics..."
Luckily for this class, Farnsworth had a chance to hone his speech for the second semester. Unluckily for them, honing in this case meant making it even longer and more complex. It still had to fit inside the timeframe of an hour, of course, but that hour would be one of the longest hours of these students lives, or so help him, he wasn't doing his job! That, in itself, could potentially be a nice example of the base of what Farnsworth might be trying to get at, but, on the same token, not even Farnsworth knew what he was trying to get at, since he was making it up as he went along. Again. In almost exactly the same fashion as before.
Cyclical history. Another fine topic they may or may not be exposed to, based on the whims of a crazy old man.
"...which is how Lady Gaga came to exist and why George W. Bush really got elected into office. Now." Farnsworth's arthritic hands pulled out a huge stack of papers; he all but disappeared behind them, even after they whumped onto the desk. "Your homework for this week. If you've been paying attention, it should be no trouble at all. There are some basic formulas to help you solve some equations. Only twenty pages, should be a breeze! And I also expect all of you to have square the circle by next week; it's very important. Come on up and get your packet, and you're free to go for the day. If you have any questions or concerns, I'm sure you'll try to tell me about them, but please don't, because I don't care and you'll just be wasting your breath, which probably smells like halitosis, puberty, and dirty lies."
[[ OCD is
Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
If there were any questions as he went along, now would be the time to ask them, although you were likely to not get an answer. Not even an A for effort. More like a D-.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Now that she was actually here, though... She was just staring. With a kind of a permanent look of what is this I don't even on her face.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
By five minutes into the class, he was lost completely, to a point where all there was to do was daydream and pretend the lecture was happening in some other, worse universe. He'd be over here, imagining cancan dancers and true love.
He struggled back to awareness just in time to hear he had homework. Oh. Well.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
It took George all of two minutes to zone out, and start doodling on her notebook.
She was drawing various methods of lighting the professor on fire.
Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
She was a bit too dazed to actually think about whether she wanted to even collect her homework for a class she hadn't understood a single thing about.
"Kate Gregson, uh, sir."
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
So how nice of Moron to come right up and introduce herself so she could get the right one!
With a bit of effort involved in actually lifting the thing, he handed her the homework. "And what is your interest in taking this class, Miss Gregsonersur?"
Because, seriously. He did care about the answer, though. He wanted to know what to avoid next semester in his course description to prevent this from happening.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
But what actually came out of her mouth was "I think it was a paperwork error."
Which was probably more helpful for him, anyway.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Farnsworth breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Zombie Jesus!" he said. "You're not actually here because you want to be."
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Meanwhile, her linguistic magpie of a brain made note of that Zombie Jesus thing. She'd probably end up saying it.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
And, really, if Moron was here on accident, that that only made the subject matter all the more evil for her. The math geeks who actually thought to argue the point were just plain annoying. Farnsworth managed to keep back an maniacal chuckle, though he couldn't keep his fingers from steepling and tapping together to fit his malicious, torturous thoughts.
"Good, good," he said. "Have fun with the homework!"
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Her exit looked a lot like escaping, and yet she'd probably be back next week. This just seemed like one of those horrific things where you wanted to look away/not show up, but did anyway.
Stupid Fandom High office.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Do I have to?"
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Oh, no," said Farnsworth, shaking his head, in a saccharine, placating tone. "Since you asked so ni--"
And, then, like that, his tone shifted into something far more appropriately scurrilous. "Yes, of course you have to! What does this look like, kindergarten?"
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
She might be a slacker, but she could scribble up some technobabble gibberish just to prove a point.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Farnsworth's mind was, in fact, only over there in the corner, but it was laughing itself silly into a near-fatal coughing fit.
Grading it! Oh, he did love a comedienne.
"Why don't," he said in a pleased tone, "we add a six page study of the space-time continuum to it, as well? And its relation to the Three Headed Monkeys of the Planet Zenobia?"
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
This was going to be epic. It was going to feature illustrations of people looking very similar to the professor being strangled to death by three-headed monkeys, and there were going to be at least two paragraphs about something obscene, scatalogical, or both.
No. It hadn't occurred to George that he was just going to toss it into the trash.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"No," Farnsworth said. "With a silent Q."
Obviously.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Poor, deluded girl.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Harper Finkle. Very excited to be here," she said. Okay, she wasn't excited, but you weren't supposed to say that to the teacher on the first day of class.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"I believe they have a pill for that," he informed her oh-so-helpfully as he handed over her
encyclopediahomework.Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
MutantHarper.Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Not dirty.Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Knitting?" he said. "How awful."
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Oh no, it's not awful at all," said Harper. "I'm sure I could make you a very nice sweater by the end of the semester."
Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
"Fine," he relented, because, clearly, Mutant had pushed the issue so much. "But no wool! It itches and gives me a very bad rash."
OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
I, on the other hand, should not be feeling this big an urge to upload more confused icons for Kate.
Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
I would also recommend whatever "OH GOD IT BURNS" and "I CAN'T UNSEE IT" icons you may have. Because if they don't get used often, I'm doing it wrong.
Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.
Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.