fandomhigh | The Mathmatics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 08/31 ].

Entry tags:

mathematics

The Mathmatics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 08/31 ].

Oh, joy. Another class of braindead idiot children to teach.

True, probably half of last semester's class were probably geniuses. That didn't matter. You had to be old and crotchety to earn that kind of intellectual respect. Farnsworth was fairly certain that this group was significantly lower in brainpower, just as they were lower in numbers. Not that he'd complain about that first part. At this rate, mathematically, next semester will be the semester he'd been hoping for, without a single soul in it.

With a wistful sigh, standing in front of the class room, that thought put a rare, happy smile on Farnsworth's face until he remembered where he was and instantly frowned again. Those impossibly youthful faces starting up at him, and he couldn't wait now to break them. Under his arm, he held an impressively large binder stuffed with papers, and, as he dropped it on the front desk with a loud whomp, he narrowed his eyes in distaste from behind his thick glasses. Which, of course, meant no one could probably even see the glare because they were so thick.

"This," he announced with the appropriate amount of surliness, "is the Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields. In this class, I will teach you all about how you're all idiots, because the concepts we will be discussing are so expansive and important that it'll be far too much for your puny, developing minds to grasp and only emphasize the fact that you're doomed to a life of mediocrity and common stupidity."

Yes, it was the same speech as last time.

No, Farnsworth had no idea. He couldn't remember what he had for breakfast yesterday, much less what he had said in class last semester. It was all just an astonishing coincidink.

He flipped the binder open to the first page and gave the class what could have been a smile. It could have also have just been gas.

"Let's get started, shall we?"

"A neutrino is is an elementary particle that usually travels close to the speed of light, is electrically neutral, and is able to pass through ordinary matter almost undisturbed. Almost. We'll have to cover all the fun stuff that can happen when they do get disturbed; it ain't pretty, like that giant zit on your nose, dark haired girl in that chair over there. They have a very small, nonzero mass, just like your brains, and are very difficult to detect, like ninjas, or signs of intelligent life in this classroom.

"Neutrinos are created as a result of certain types of radioactive decay or nuclear reactions such as those that take place in the Sun, in nuclear reactors, or when cosmic rays hit atoms. There are three types, or 'flavours', of neutrinos, like there are three basic flavors of ice cream: the vanilla electron neutrinos, the chololate muon neutrinos and Chunky Monkey tau neutrinos; each type also has a corresponding antiparticle, called antineutrinos. Electron neutrinos, or vanilneutrinos, are generated whenever protons change into neutrons, or the other way around, they sort of go both ways like my aunt Patti, the two forms of beta decay. They are currently, in the future, working on developing a new flavour of neutrino, chocolate pecan rocky road, but I hear the going is a little rough. Interactions involving neutrinos are mediated by the weak interaction betw--"

Farnsworth paused. The pause dragged out for a long moment, until, finally, it ended with what sounded like a long snore. The man seemed to have fallen asleep mid-lecture, but, with a bit of a cough, jerked himself back up again and continued.

"Now, quantum mechanics..."

Luckily for this class, Farnsworth had a chance to hone his speech for the second semester. Unluckily for them, honing in this case meant making it even longer and more complex. It still had to fit inside the timeframe of an hour, of course, but that hour would be one of the longest hours of these students lives, or so help him, he wasn't doing his job! That, in itself, could potentially be a nice example of the base of what Farnsworth might be trying to get at, but, on the same token, not even Farnsworth knew what he was trying to get at, since he was making it up as he went along. Again. In almost exactly the same fashion as before.

Cyclical history. Another fine topic they may or may not be exposed to, based on the whims of a crazy old man.

"...which is how Lady Gaga came to exist and why George W. Bush really got elected into office. Now." Farnsworth's arthritic hands pulled out a huge stack of papers; he all but disappeared behind them, even after they whumped onto the desk. "Your homework for this week. If you've been paying attention, it should be no trouble at all. There are some basic formulas to help you solve some equations. Only twenty pages, should be a breeze! And I also expect all of you to have square the circle by next week; it's very important. Come on up and get your packet, and you're free to go for the day. If you have any questions or concerns, I'm sure you'll try to tell me about them, but please don't, because I don't care and you'll just be wasting your breath, which probably smells like halitosis, puberty, and dirty lies."

[[ OCD is ~~on its way~~ up. Unfortunately. ]]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

In your best Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields form.

At least the lecture is somewhat on point; it's a little early for Farnsworth to start thinking it's an entirely different class all together.

If there were any questions as he went along, now would be the time to ask them, although you were likely to not get an answer. Not even an A for effort. More like a D-.

Even if there was time at the end of class, Farnsworth learned that forcing the students to stay meant he had to stay, too. He figured they could do their own damn homework on their own damn time. They have to come up to the desk to get it, though, and Farnsworth was ready with his list of new names to try to figure out which belong to whom as they came up to get their packets.

Edited 2010-08-31 14:46 (UTC)

I should not be this excited for another semester of getting to do this, omg.

Yes you should.

I, on the other hand, should not be feeling this big an urge to upload more confused icons for Kate.

Kate Gregson

Kate had no idea how she'd ended up with this class on her schedule, since mathematics of any kind wasn't exactly her field. Still, she'd figured she'd at least come to the first lecture and see whether she'd be able to soldier on through the class somehow. It would look good on her transcripts for college, at least, right?

Now that she was actually here, though... She was just staring. With a kind of a permanent look of what is this I don't even on her face.

Christian

Christian had signed up for math a bit begrudgingly -- he supposed he should have a few practical classes to tell his father about.

By five minutes into the class, he was lost completely, to a point where all there was to do was daydream and pretend the lecture was happening in some other, worse universe. He'd be over here, imagining cancan dancers and true love.

He struggled back to awareness just in time to hear he had homework. Oh. Well.

Did Kate look more than a little apprehensive as she approached Farnworth's desk? Why yes, yes she did.

She was a bit too dazed to actually think about whether she wanted to even collect her homework for a class she hadn't understood a single thing about.

"Kate Gregson, uh, sir."

Yes you should.

I would also recommend whatever "OH GOD IT BURNS" and "I CAN'T UNSEE IT" icons you may have. Because if they don't get used often, I'm doing it wrong.

Farnsworth really didn't know who was who, nor did he really care, and so he was happily planning on just arbitrarily hand out the nicknames he had made for them at whim.

So how nice of Moron to come right up and introduce herself so she could get the right one!

With a bit of effort involved in actually lifting the thing, he handed her the homework. "And what is your interest in taking this class, Miss Gregsonersur?"

Because, seriously. He did care about the answer, though. He wanted to know what to avoid next semester in his course description to prevent this from happening.

Accepting her homework with some mild horror, Kate was going to profess to a great love of the subject, because her instinct in most confusing situations was to lie.

But what actually came out of her mouth was "I think it was a paperwork error."

Which was probably more helpful for him, anyway.

Indeed, it was. And made Moron look far less moronic as a result, as well.

Farnsworth breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank Zombie Jesus!" he said. "You're not actually here because you want to be."

Harper Finkle

Kate shook her head, uncertainly. "Um. No, I guess not."

Meanwhile, her linguistic magpie of a brain made note of that Zombie Jesus thing. She'd probably end up saying it.

Well, it was a pretty good phrase. Not to mention accurate.

And, really, if Moron was here on accident, that that only made the subject matter all the more evil for her. The math geeks who actually thought to argue the point were just plain annoying. Farnsworth managed to keep back an maniacal chuckle, though he couldn't keep his fingers from steepling and tapping together to fit his malicious, torturous thoughts.

"Good, good," he said. "Have fun with the homework!"

"Uh, thanks," Kate managed to say. "Bye."

Her exit looked a lot like escaping, and yet she'd probably be back next week. This just seemed like one of those horrific things where you wanted to look away/not show up, but did anyway.

Stupid Fandom High office.

George Lass

George had already had a shitty day today, before she even got to her class (on time, thanks to some furious pedaling, but hot and sweaty and gross as a result). And she had hurried back for this? Who the fuck signed her up for this class, and could she kill them?

It took George all of two minutes to zone out, and start doodling on her notebook.

She was drawing various methods of lighting the professor on fire.

This icon is half the reason George signed up for this class bb.

George stared at the packet. And at Farnsworth. And at the packet again.

"Do I have to?"

Always glad to help get more use out of an icon.

Hmmm. If Farnsworth had to guess, he would guess that this one was the Spazoid-Dweeby.

"Oh, no," said Farnsworth, shaking his head, in a saccharine, placating tone. "Since you asked so ni--"

And, then, like that, his tone shifted into something far more appropriately scurrilous. "Yes, of course you have to! What does this look like, kindergarten?"

"Fine," George said. "I'll do all of it. I'll add extra pages for the rest of the thoughts I have. You're the one that has to grade it."

She might be a slacker, but she could scribble up some technobabble gibberish just to prove a point.

Farnsworth didn't laugh. That would give him away. He just gave a glassy-eyed smile toward the girl, the kind one gave when their mind was really a million miles away.

Farnsworth's mind was, in fact, only over there in the corner, but it was laughing itself silly into a near-fatal coughing fit.

Grading it! Oh, he did love a comedienne.

"Why don't," he said in a pleased tone, "we add a six page study of the space-time continuum to it, as well? And its relation to the Three Headed Monkeys of the Planet Zenobia?"

"Fine," George said easily. "Zenobia with a Z?"

This was going to be epic. It was going to feature illustrations of people looking very similar to the professor being strangled to death by three-headed monkeys, and there were going to be at least two paragraphs about something obscene, scatalogical, or both.

No. It hadn't occurred to George that he was just going to toss it into the trash.

Or, to be fair, he might just save it as kindling for a fire to keep himself warm in the harsh winter months!

"No," Farnsworth said. "With a silent Q."

Obviously.

"I'll use three," George said, taking the packet with something that looked oddly like triumph.

Poor, deluded girl.

Harper considered herself fairly smart, but she felt completely lost as she listened to the lecture. But she wasn't about to ask any questions and make it look like she didn't understand anything. Hopefully the Wikipedia page had a nice, basic explanation. She'd check it out when she went back to her dorm room.

Harper had a bit of a headache from trying to understand the lecture, but she tried to shake it off as she approached the teacher's desk to get her packet.

"Harper Finkle. Very excited to be here," she said. Okay, she wasn't excited, but you weren't supposed to say that to the teacher on the first day of class.

It would forever astound Farnsworth why they bothered introducing themselves like he cared, but it was encouraging to know that he'd clearly gotten another one in right as he matched the name up with his nickname of Mutant.

"I believe they have a pill for that," he informed her oh-so-helpfully as he handed over her ~~encyclopedia~~ homework.

"They have a pill that takes care of excitement? Why would anyone want to take that?" asked ~~Mutant~~ Harper.

"It's more for the people ho have to deal with the excitement than for the excitable ones. Of course, there's always tranqs, if you prefer a nice injection."

~~Not dirty.~~

"Uh, no thanks. No injections for me. I don't like needles, unless they're knitting needles," said Harper. It made sense in her head, really.

A typical Mutant response. Farnsworth looked horrified.

"Knitting?" he said. "How awful."

Farnsworth must have run across some of Harper's knitted creations.

"Oh no, it's not awful at all," said Harper. "I'm sure I could make you a very nice sweater by the end of the semester."

Well, he was old. Therefor, he was obligated to enjoy sweaters.

"Fine," he relented, because, clearly, Mutant had pushed the issue so much. "But no wool! It itches and gives me a very bad rash."

Tim Drake

Chuck Bartowski

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

The Mathmatics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 08/31 ].

Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Get your Homework/Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/31.