The Mathematics of Quantum Neutrino Fields; Tuesday, Period 4 [ 08/10 ].

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

One would think that a certifiable genius would be able to recognize the fact that today's class was much larger than his usual Thursday class, and therefor realize that this was not still Thursday. One would be, then, an idiot, because that was exactly what Farnsworth was thinking as he stood in front of the class, adjusting his glasses, and cleared his throat.



"Class," he said, "we're going to be diverting away from the syllabus a bit today, because I have discovered something very disturbing the other day, and I have prepared a special lesson to alert you all to a very serious problem that I discovered one amongst you may need to be made aware of. I'd like to take today to warn you about the rampant danger of..."

There was, of course, a dramatic pause. The lights went off and the slide projector hummed to life, filling that darkness with the white glow of its bulb, until Farnsworth clicked the button and the first slide appeared.

"Redheads."

Even in the darkness of the classroom, Farnsworth's shudder was visible, as well as audible.

"Though I fear I may be too late." Click! "Some of them may be hot; others are," click!, "not. All of them," click!, "are genetic anomolies and a threat to our existance. They may try," click!, "masquerading as a non-redhead, but, deep down, we all know the truth.

"They will try to squeeze their way into the world with their clever wiles and auburn hair, but, thankfully, there are several ways to protect yourself from redheads. First," click!, "they tend to be very short, so you can use your superior genes to tower over them and intimidate them. Also," click!, "like vampires, they are extremely susceptable to the scorching power of the sun! Some might also claim that," click!, "they have no souls."

Yes, Lindsay again, but, really, was there a better example to prove his point?

"Legend has it," Farnsworth continued, completely oblivious to any reaction this may be having, "that, because they are," click!, "utterly soulless, they will try to," click!, "intice people into believing they are sexy, to steal their souls. That is, of course, complete hogwash, unless you maybe replace 'soul stealing' with," click!, "spreading STDs and," click!, "general evil."

"In conclusion, Peter Bishop, the next time you think about making out with a redhead in a theater while perfectly decent people are trying to watch a film about nubile beach goers being mauled graphically by sharks, remember..."

Click!

"I was ginger once, too. And, next time you think to date a redhead, just remember this. Yes, the curtains do match the carpet."



With that final lovely mental visual, and another click to a blank slide, the lights went up and Farnsworth smiled at his class that was somehow bigger than it should be.

"So let's take the day today to figure out how to invent something that may help you prevent redheads."


[[ OCD on the way is up! No redheads were harmed in the creation of this speech, not even emotionally, because we all know they don't have emotions. Some, but very few, links are a little bit NSFW ]]

[[ previous classes ]]

Comments

Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

Seeing red.

Re: Sign In -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Dana Scully

Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

Wonder what in the world you've done to deserve this.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

The hell?

Scully was glaring. A lot. At least until Peter Bishop got singled out, then she was having a hard time not laughing her ass off.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[notavalleygirl.livejournal.com]

Well, Kitty had never been happier to be a brunette. Don't think she wasn't checking how any redheads in the class might have been dealing, though.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[eyebrowgoesup]

Spock did not understand what was happening here. There was no logic to be found. None. At all. He did not understand what a person's hair color had to do with anything.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt's three-fingered, blue-furred hand shot up, and he bared his fangs at the professor in a snarl. "There is NOTHING wrong with minor genetic mutations!" he insisted.


And maybe, maybe, if he could believe that strongly enough about redheads, he'd believe it about himself, too.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Bruce's last girlfriend was a redhead, but she graduated and left town before he could eventually cruelly dump her to refocus on a mission he would never fully explain.

Was it just a natural thing that happened, or was it evil cunning?

It was a natural thing. Of course. Bruce didn't even entertain the other thought no matter how well it worked under the professor's logic. Or possibly because it worked so well under the professor's logic.

Re: Listen to the Lecture -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[she-sheds.livejournal.com]

Well. The professor had topped his previous efforts in nonsensical classes, at least. Although, while some of those had been mildly amusing in their ridiculousness, this particular lecture had simply annoyed Joolushko. Rather a lot. Her hair, in fact, was looking much redder than it had when she walked in. The bright red went well with the glare she was giving the professor.

Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

Farnsworth thinks this is inventing class, and so he expects you to invent! He wants to see some good quality redhead inhibitors from you by the end of class. Or you could just decide that this is insane and leave. He'd be okay with that, too. Especially if you're one of those redheads (AHEM!) who somehow snuck into his inventing class.

There is, of course, a fully moddable range of random crap to invent from.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

Scully wanted to inhibit Farnsworth, thanks, but kind of thought the only way to do that was with a tranq gun. Oooo. Tranq gun!

...and what the hell happened to all the freaked out math?

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[notmyownage]

Claudia did a sketch of a water gun filled with red hair dye.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[notavalleygirl.livejournal.com]

Kitty was trying to take this invention thing seriously, but whenever she started sketching something out, she thought it might just be easier to use some hair dye.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[mathletenomore.livejournal.com]

Lindsay wondered how this could work mathematically. Not that she planned to create such a crazy invention.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt's invention? Ruby-tinted glasses. If EVERYTHING was red, then it wouldn't matter what color someone's hair was, because you couldn't tell anyway.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Bruce chose not to invent not a machine but, rather, an equation. It took him all period to work out and required that you ignored how the world actually worked and paradox (both of which were listed as variables in the equation), but by the end of it he had a sheet of paper that proved that color was only an optical illusion anyway, therefore red hair couldn't possibly exist. And if you chose to believe that it did, you had never been born.

Re: Invent -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[angelo_wings]

Rinoa's invention looked suspiciously liked doodles of wings. And of the professor being stabbed in the face with large knives.

Talk to the TA -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

Even though Farnsworth has no idea what she's doing here today, considering it's Thursday.

Re: Talk to the TA -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[mathletenomore.livejournal.com]

Lindsay totally gave up on making sense of this class.

Talk to Farnsworth -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

Who is looking very pleased with himself. Alerting people to the evil of redheads is one of those rare good deeds that he actually enjoying doing!

OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[ivejustinvented.livejournal.com]

FOR THE RECORD, I LOVE REDHEADS OMG. This speech is entirely crack and not meant to offend anyone who may have redhair or redhaired loved ones.

...

Except for Sam.

And, yes, Farnsworth is time-disorientated to believe for the rest of the semester that this class is his Thursday class and his Thursday class is this class. Mwa ha ha.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[weetinyreese.livejournal.com]

You're completely mad. Completely and utterly. (As a natural redhead I give a redhead stamp of approval to this post, which is to say you're mad.)

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[raspberryturk]

You. You are my hero.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[trigons_child]

I was enjoying clicking on most of those links (mmmmmm, redheads) until I got to Carrot Top. THANK YOU FOR THAT NIGHTMARE.

Re: OOC -- M.o.Q.N.F., 08/10.

[showmetheproof.livejournal.com]

*can not stop laughing*