fandomhigh | Library [07-11]

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Library [07-11]

Today was a turtleneck day, for Jono. It was a turtleneck and jeans day for Jono. And tomorrow would probably be the same, and maybe even the day after. Just so long as he could spend a few healthy days with a little bit of distance from anything that would remind him of wet leather.

He'd get over the fact that turtlenecks looked more than a little stupid when rolled clear up over one's nose. Sometimes, you just had to look stupid in order to not look terrifying.

His wardrobe choices for the day having been justified, he was going to settle down, reach for the first book he could see that hadn't been re-shelved, and he was going to read. It was Sunday. He was allowed to be a little lazy, at least for a little while, considering he was the aide who tended to work through his lunch breaks, without fail.

[Open!]

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"I don't believe that," she said coolly, chin going up.

//Then what do you believe?//

"That perfection can be obtained," she said flatly. "That hard work and skill will pay off."

Jono needed to take this opportunity to attempt to stare her down, now, one eyebrow raised slightly, face still framed by his hands.

//For everybody?//

She met his gaze steadily.

"Of course."

//And you really believe I'm not trying hard enough.//

That was the kicker, there. Jono was a hard worker, but life had an interesting way of kicking him in the arse lately, with things entirely out of his element. Serial killers. Demon lords. He'd wanted to grow up to be a musician.

"Without knowing what else is occurring," she said measuredly. "I have to say that you do not appear to be doing so."

//Brilliant.// The worst thing about that statement was that he couldn't even deny it. Not without saying things about Sookie and about Raven that weren't anybody's business. Not without saying things about himself that he'd really rather not. //I think... maybe I'm a little out of my depth, is the thing.//

"Then your options are simple," she said, and only Rosalind would call this simple. "Sink or swim."

//The trouble there is, I can sink like a stone, and I still don't drown. And I can swim all I want, but I don't believe I'll ever reach the shore.// He shrugged. //It makes for a slightly skewed opinion on what makes simple.//

"If you don't believe, then yes."

That, as far as Rosalind was concerned, was that. He reminded her, in this one conversation, of Elena. It was depressing.

And now it was time for a moment of absolute silence while Jono attempted to wrap his head around that.

//Did you really just say that to me?// He sat up straight again, resting his hands on the desktop. //Really? Believe, and it'll all come together? Keep the faith and yer ship will no doubt come in? You know, it won't make everything easier, when th'world comes down all around me and there's nothing I could possibly have said or done, so clearly it was my own fault for not believing in things.//

Her face shut down. What little animation she allowed free range on her face sliding away until she was little more than a statue with ice cold eyes.

"You asked me what I believed," she said, refusing to permit her voice to raise. "You were told what I believe. Whether or not it pertains to your situation is not my call."

//No,// he replied. //I suppose it isn't.//

Well. This was going well, wasn't it?

Jonothon's eyes slid closed for a moment, and he ran his fingers through his hair, trying to work himself into some state of being reasonable, at least.

//And,// he said, carefully, opening his eyes but keeping his gaze on the desk, //maybe it even works. Maybe my problem is that I do give up too bloody soon.//

"Decide for yourself," she said, still in that same cool voice. "I only gave my opinion."

Which was perfectly valid, thank you very much.

Jono was silent for a long moment, he could very well be counting the grain in the wood on the desk, with the way his eyebrows were furrowed.

//If life went and blew up in your face...// What was left of his own face screwed up a bit in thought. He couldn't ask if she would keep believing. He knew that she would. It was written all over her face, underneath the layer that insisted that nothing be written on her face at all. //How would you keep on believing?//

Somebody was having difficulty with that part, yes.

Something slightly bitter uncurled across her face.

"The same way I keep on going while knowing when I'm going to die," she said, sounding distant. The same way she pushed herself to her limits and beyond them in an attempt to make her father proud of her. The same way she persisted in trying to have Elena be the best she could be. "Hope, you idiot. Live in hope and put it into action."

Yes, Jono was looking up at that. Looking up and trying to catch her eyes.

//Hope.//

No, he hadn't missed that other part. That first part. But he suspected, to some degree, that it wasn't his place to repeat it, either.

//What do you hope for?//

Her eyes were as cool as the rest of her and deliberately so. It was easier to stay calm when you were focused on not feeling.

"That the future isn't written in stone and what we do day-to-day changes it."

Jono nodded faintly.

//That... isn't something I hope for,// he stated, carefully. //That's something that I take to be a given. Simply a fact. Nothing is set in stone. How could it be, if there are so many people who end up here?//

"And yet," she said, picking her words equally carefully. "Moving forward is something that must be done by the individual. If there is no effort, no progress, there is no point in hope. Just fate."

//A fate, perhaps,// Jono countered. //An ending point, certainly. Everybody has one. But not Fate, as an entity. Some greater guiding power leading us all to some pre-ordained destiny?//

He shook his head.

//Nothing is set in stone, like that. I refuse to believe as much. But...// He shrugged. //Yer right. Effort is what makes th'difference between choosing a fate, and rolling over and accepting th'worst.//

A faint faint smile touched her lips. A fate and Fate were all the same to her when Rosalind's choices were... save your sister, or don't.

"Do the impossible," she intoned.

It was what Turks did.

"Try living by that."

Jono's eyebrows both went up at that.

//Believe it or not, luv, I already am.//

He was alive, after all.

Something too subtle to be anything that could realistically be called an expression flitted over her face before being tucked away again.

"I'll keep that in mind."

Library [07-11]

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