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fandomhigh2010-07-08 01:38 pm
licensedtoarch.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2010-07-08 01:38 pm
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Arching 101, Thursday, Period Seven
In what might just be the most surreal class of the day (though the narrative makes no guarantees for the week and certainly not for the entire summer), the students of Arching 101 would find not one but two men dressed as giant butterflies at the front of the room today. Welcome to class, kids.
Which is actually, word for word, how the students would be greeted by the taller of the two as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to class, kids," he said in his oddly Ray Romano-esque voice. "This is Arching 101, where we're going to teach you how to provide first-rate, professional menace."
"That's right!" The shorter, chubbier costumed man piped up. "My associate 24 and I are licensed members of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and we're experts not only in the fine art of henching, but our position as henchmen to several of the world's leading supervillains means that we are have gotten to see arching at it's best, from behind the scenes. And thus, are prepared to pass that knowledge along to you." He spoke serenly, as if he were passing on some kind of great Zen secrets to finding peace with the world.
"All right, so looking around, I can see some of you aren't entirely familiar with some of the terms we're using," 24 said. "That's okay, this is what school is all about. Learning. So, arching is short for 'arch-nemesis' er, ing. Nemesis-ing. Nemesisering. Whatever. You want to be the primary enemy to some great hero or another, this is what you're looking for. You think that the real superheroes lack enemies? Hell no! They're always going around and putting people in jail and being really annoying and holier-than-thou so it's no wonder they've got people who want to kill them or experiment on them, or just take them down a peg or two. There's not enough time in a day for a really famous superhero to deal with everyone who wants a piece of him. Which is why learning to arch properly is important if you ever want to get to the big leagues of arch-nemesis...erying."
"Dude, that is not even a word."
"Yeah, well fine. You explain henching then."
"Fine, I will." The other, as yet unnamed (or unnumbered?) henchman took up the thread of the explanation. "Henching, on the other hand, is the profession employed by henchmen. For every great supervillain out there, there are tens or even hundred of henchmen, err, henchpeople making sure his/her/or its plans go off smoothly, to provide intel on the heroes, or to die heroically in their service. We'll have an entire class on henching this semester, don't you worry. Arching isn't for everyone, and henching is a very noble profession."
Here, they paused to look at one another, not entirely sure where to go next. "But for this class, we're going to do..." 24 looked at his fellow teacher and snapped his fingers. "Introductions! I'm 24 and this is 21. We're members of the Fluttering Horde, the Monarch's feared and respected cadre of henchmen!" They posed for a second before looking back to the class. "So, from all of you, we want name, age, whether you'd be a supervillain or a hench...person, and what skills you bring to the table." 24 pointed to a random student. "You! Begin!"
"Oh, that was very leader-like," 21 murmured behind him.
"Thanks. I've been practicing."
[Please wait for OCD is up. and has been. I am just dumb]
Which is actually, word for word, how the students would be greeted by the taller of the two as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to class, kids," he said in his oddly Ray Romano-esque voice. "This is Arching 101, where we're going to teach you how to provide first-rate, professional menace."
"That's right!" The shorter, chubbier costumed man piped up. "My associate 24 and I are licensed members of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and we're experts not only in the fine art of henching, but our position as henchmen to several of the world's leading supervillains means that we are have gotten to see arching at it's best, from behind the scenes. And thus, are prepared to pass that knowledge along to you." He spoke serenly, as if he were passing on some kind of great Zen secrets to finding peace with the world.
"All right, so looking around, I can see some of you aren't entirely familiar with some of the terms we're using," 24 said. "That's okay, this is what school is all about. Learning. So, arching is short for 'arch-nemesis' er, ing. Nemesis-ing. Nemesisering. Whatever. You want to be the primary enemy to some great hero or another, this is what you're looking for. You think that the real superheroes lack enemies? Hell no! They're always going around and putting people in jail and being really annoying and holier-than-thou so it's no wonder they've got people who want to kill them or experiment on them, or just take them down a peg or two. There's not enough time in a day for a really famous superhero to deal with everyone who wants a piece of him. Which is why learning to arch properly is important if you ever want to get to the big leagues of arch-nemesis...erying."
"Dude, that is not even a word."
"Yeah, well fine. You explain henching then."
"Fine, I will." The other, as yet unnamed (or unnumbered?) henchman took up the thread of the explanation. "Henching, on the other hand, is the profession employed by henchmen. For every great supervillain out there, there are tens or even hundred of henchmen, err, henchpeople making sure his/her/or its plans go off smoothly, to provide intel on the heroes, or to die heroically in their service. We'll have an entire class on henching this semester, don't you worry. Arching isn't for everyone, and henching is a very noble profession."
Here, they paused to look at one another, not entirely sure where to go next. "But for this class, we're going to do..." 24 looked at his fellow teacher and snapped his fingers. "Introductions! I'm 24 and this is 21. We're members of the Fluttering Horde, the Monarch's feared and respected cadre of henchmen!" They posed for a second before looking back to the class. "So, from all of you, we want name, age, whether you'd be a supervillain or a hench...person, and what skills you bring to the table." 24 pointed to a random student. "You! Begin!"
"Oh, that was very leader-like," 21 murmured behind him.
"Thanks. I've been practicing."
[
Re: Listen to the Lecture
Yeah, she was vowing never to do that again for most of the lecture.