fandomhigh | Arching 101, Thursday, Period Seven

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arching 101

Arching 101, Thursday, Period Seven

In what might just be the most surreal class of the day (though the narrative makes no guarantees for the week and certainly not for the entire summer), the students of Arching 101 would find not one but two men dressed as giant butterflies at the front of the room today. Welcome to class, kids.

Which is actually, word for word, how the students would be greeted by the taller of the two as soon as the bell rang. "Welcome to class, kids," he said in his oddly Ray Romano-esque voice. "This is Arching 101, where we're going to teach you how to provide first-rate, professional menace."

"That's right!" The shorter, chubbier costumed man piped up. "My associate 24 and I are licensed members of the Guild of Calamitous Intent, and we're experts not only in the fine art of henching, but our position as henchmen to several of the world's leading supervillains means that we are have gotten to see arching at it's best, from behind the scenes. And thus, are prepared to pass that knowledge along to you." He spoke serenly, as if he were passing on some kind of great Zen secrets to finding peace with the world.

"All right, so looking around, I can see some of you aren't entirely familiar with some of the terms we're using," 24 said. "That's okay, this is what school is all about. Learning. So, arching is short for 'arch-nemesis' er, ing. Nemesis-ing. Nemesisering. Whatever. You want to be the primary enemy to some great hero or another, this is what you're looking for. You think that the real superheroes lack enemies? Hell no! They're always going around and putting people in jail and being really annoying and holier-than-thou so it's no wonder they've got people who want to kill them or experiment on them, or just take them down a peg or two. There's not enough time in a day for a really famous superhero to deal with everyone who wants a piece of him. Which is why learning to arch properly is important if you ever want to get to the big leagues of arch-nemesis...erying."

"Dude, that is not even a word."

"Yeah, well fine. You explain henching then."

"Fine, I will." The other, as yet unnamed (or unnumbered?) henchman took up the thread of the explanation. "Henching, on the other hand, is the profession employed by henchmen. For every great supervillain out there, there are tens or even hundred of henchmen, err, henchpeople making sure his/her/or its plans go off smoothly, to provide intel on the heroes, or to die heroically in their service. We'll have an entire class on henching this semester, don't you worry. Arching isn't for everyone, and henching is a very noble profession."

Here, they paused to look at one another, not entirely sure where to go next. "But for this class, we're going to do..." 24 looked at his fellow teacher and snapped his fingers. "Introductions! I'm 24 and this is 21. We're members of the Fluttering Horde, the Monarch's feared and respected cadre of henchmen!" They posed for a second before looking back to the class. "So, from all of you, we want name, age, whether you'd be a supervillain or a hench...person, and what skills you bring to the table." 24 pointed to a random student. "You! Begin!"

"Oh, that was very leader-like," 21 murmured behind him.

"Thanks. I've been practicing."

[~~Please wait for~~ OCD is up. and has been. I am just dumb]

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Like you've just been signed up for Arching 101.

Taught by men in butterfly costumes

Denise Mahoney

Alex Karev

Katniss Everdeen

Peter Bishop

Warren Worthington III

Tara Maclay

Jason Todd

...Such as it is. Hey, these are important distinctions here.

...well.

Yeah, Alex was just going to sit and try not to laugh at the outfits. The guys were entertaining and that was all Alex really needed in a class.

...this was not archery. That was what this was supposed to be. Katniss didn't see any bows, or arrows, or targets.

Just men dressed as butterflies. Even if that was very fashionable where they were from, she was going to sit and stare. Even her stylists were more restrained, usually. They just had rainbow-hued skin, after all.

Grown men. Dressed as butterflies.

This class was slowly solidifying Warren's no-tights stance, and he'd tell Bobby as much the next time he ran into him.

Okay, so Tara kind of didn't exactly read the class description? She thought this workshop was about archery.

Yeah, she was vowing never to do that again for most of the lecture.

Name, age, whether you'd be a supervillain or a henchperson, and what skills you feel would assist you with your career choice.

"Alex Karev, eighteen, and I'd be a supervillain." Of course. Of course. "Skills? I'm manipulative, charming, hot, intelligent and willing to climb over even people I care about to get to the top. As long as I'm superior."

That wasn't entirely true but it was true enough.

"Is there anything specific about the supervillain calling that appeals to you?" 24 asked. "Besides being in charge?"

"I do love attention," Alex said, shrugging. "If you're a supervillain and you do big time things, you're gonna get noticed. That's always fun. I'm a fan of accolades, bad or good."

"...Katniss," she said, staring at the crazy men. "My name is Katniss, I'm sixteen, and...I guess I'd be a supervillain?" She didn't actually put air-quotes around that word, (mostly because she didn't know about air-quotes) but she may as well have. "I don't like taking orders. I think I'm in the wrong class."

"If you are here, perhaps it is because the fates think you need our teachings," 21 said piously.

"I'm pretty sure it's because I shoot things with arrows and signed up for the wrong thing," Katniss contradicted.

"That was simply the fluttering of the butterfly wings to create the hurricane of your life," 21 intoned.

Oh, come on now. Warren didn't want to be either, but he had an ego to contend with, and wasn't about to settle for a number when he could just be in charge.

... Even if he wasn't all that good at being in charge.

"Warren Worthington the third," okay, so maybe a number now and again wasn't that bad, "and I'm eighteen years old. I'd probably go for the supervillain thing, if I had to choose. I've got money, good breeding, and an eye for economics that would just go to waste, otherwise."

Not to mention the obvious physical attributes that would come in handy.

Edited 2010-07-08 18:45 (UTC)

21 and 24 both stopped to look at Warren--or, more specifically, his wings. "That's handy," 24 said. "Because otherwise you'd have to find a group that incorporates the wingy-feather thing and that could be tough."

21 nodded. "The best part about being a supervillain?" he added in an undertone. "The costumes, dude. Totally designing the costumes."

"Well, that and the babes," 24 added.

"Duh. Totally the babes."

"Peter Bishop," he said. "Seventeen. And I'll settle for henchperson but only if I get one of those sweet butterfly costumes."

The faux enthusiasm on Peter was amazing. He was going to milk this class for every ounce of fun possible.

24 and 21 looked at each other, down at Peter, and back. "...They are pretty sweet," 21 said suspiciously.

"I thought you guys would be flattered," Peter said, oozing on the charm.

"Tara Maclay, seventeen," Tara said, and paused and stammered a bit before answering the next question. "I - I wouldn't be either one. I'm ... not really into being evil. i th-think I'm int he wrong class."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," 21 said, holding up a hand. "No one's talking good or evil here, okay? Supervillains and heroes might have a different way of looking at things, but good and evil have very little to do with it. Hey, 24, why are you a henchman?" he called across the classroom.

"Benefits!" 24 called back. "That, and no one else would hire me for because I only have a GED."

"See?" 21 said sternly. "The system is the real bad guy here. The system."

"So -- you became a henchman because you couldn't get into college?"

Study hard, Tara. Study hard.

"I'm Jason Todd, I'm fifteen, and...I guess I'd be a supervillain?" Yeah, he had no idea how he'd ended up in this class. Bruce was going to flip out if Jason ever told him, which was looking like a worse and worse idea by the minute. "I'm not good at being middle management. I like being in charge of my own life and my own stuff."

C'mon. You know you wanna.

...I love these guys.

I love them too omg. I want to break out my Venture Bros dvds now.

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Arching 101, Thursday, Period Seven

Sign in #1

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Listen to the Lecture

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Introduce Yourselves

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Talk to 21 and 24

OOC

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