fandomhigh | Ocker 101 - week 5

The class had been told to meet at the end of the Causeway, which was where Mick was waiting. When they'd all arrived, Mick gestured to the portal. "G'day. No idea how this thing works, but it's a little ripper. Bloke says it'll take us straight to Walkabout Creek. Come on." With that, he turned and gestured for the class to follow him through the portal.

On the other side, they'd find themselves standing on a dusty road in the middle of nowhere, a nowhere that was very hot and very dry.

Welcome to Walkabout Creek.

Mick led his class into the pub.

"G'day you pack of bastards! Mick's come home," he yelled as he entered, and was greeted with various catcalls and cries of, 'It's about time, you bastard!'. "Yeah, I know. Only here for a quick trip, and I brought my class. You lot look after 'em, all right? Specially the frog ~~presuming he's there~~."

This was greeted with dead, almost stunned, silence, finally broken by Wally saying, "Who the bloody hell let you teach?!"

"Been trying to figure that one out meself!" The pub broke into laughter, and Mick ushered his class inside. "Walkabout Creek Hotel. Make yourself at home. Shirl'll take your order at the bar if you want some tucker or a drink, just stay away from the bloody Fosters. Stuff tastes like piss. I'll be keepin' an eye on you, but if you get into trouble, just give us a yell. It's my shout, so anything you want, Shirl'll put it on my tab," he added. "Go on, have fun."

[What we've got here is ~~gonna be~~ a whole lotta OCD~~, and you're just gonna have to wait~~. The class has actually left Fandom entirely, but a squirrel is welome to smuggle itself along for radio purposes.]

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They've got anything you'd care to order, booze-wise, including lots of beers (http://www.significantbit.com/Beer/). (Mick's serious about the Fosters.)

Food is typical Aussie pub fare, with your choice of: bangers & mash (http://www.gcfoodguide.com.au/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/beach-hotel-bangers-and-mash.jpg), Barra Burger (http://aww.ninemsn.com.au/food/freshtv/791698/barra-burgers), fish & chips (http://glotter.files.wordpress.com/2009/05/fish-and-chips-seafoodinsouthafrica.jpg), steak & chips (http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3190/2718975823_856605f7f1.jpg), meat pie floaters (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pie_floater), chicken parmigiana (http://www.pastorelli.com/wdk_pas/wcm/resources/images/recipes_dishes/5712_1210924_52450/chicken_parmigiana_pastorelli.jpg), or a burger with the lot (http://aussiechic.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/196303950dlsqbf_fs-1024x768.jpg) (pineapple, egg, tomato, lettuce, cheese, onion, beetroot, beef pattie) and some chips.

Ketchup is tomato sauce, vinegar and mustard are non-existent, but there's lots of brown sauce (http://www.brownsauce.org/) on offer.

Edmund hadn't had lunch, so if they were going to be here (and oh how he was wishing for Fandom's greener pastures right now), he thought he might as well have something to eat. "Hello," he said, feeling very out of place amongst the accents he could hear around him. "Might I please have the bangers and mash?"

"No worries, luv," Shirl said cheerfully, then turned away to yell his order out the back. "Just be a minute or so. Get you a drink while you're waitin'?"

"Only a water please," he asked politely. Beer was oh so very tempting, but he refrained.

Both of Shirl's brows went up. "In all my days tending bar here, and I've been serving drinks since I was knee high to a grasshopper, you're the first one who's ever asked for water." She turned her head to yell back into the kitchen, "Dazza! This kid just asked for water!"

A large man in a blue singlet, carrying a spatula, poked his head out to give Edmund the onceover. "Better get a photo, Shirl! We'll put him up on the board."

Shirl pulled a camera out from under the counter, an old Polariod. "You mind a photo, luv? You'll be famous! First person ever to order a water in the Walkabout Creek Hotel."

Edmund stared, wondering if they'd actually taken a portal to some bizarre alternate universe. "Er...no, I don't mind. I'm quite well known at home as well, though I've never been asked for a photograph." Because they didn't have cameras.

With a quick grin, Shirl snapped a photo, then grabbed it as the camera spit it out and began waving it in the air. "What's your name, luv?" she asked as Dazza brought out Edmund's bangers and mash and his glass of water.

"I'm Edmund," he replied cautiously. But then there were the bangers and mash. Nowhere in the States had been able to measure up to the idea of bangers and mash in his mind, but the plate looked perfect. 'Could it be?' he wondered. 'Could the Australians actually get this right?' "That looks really good," he couldn't help but say.

Edited 2010-06-11 11:46 (UTC)

Shirl scrawled his name and some other words on the bottom of the picture, then glanced up and grinned. "Best bangers and mash in the Territory," she told him with obvious pride, then walked over to pin his photo up on the wall.

Across the white at the bottom of the picture it said: Eddie, one of Mick's lot, ordered water,, and the date.

"Better eat up before they get cold," she said to him as she came back to the counter.

Edmund thought about correcting her, saying that his name as Edmund and not Eddie, but as he caught sight of Professor Dundee, he realised it would be a futile effort. Australians loved their shortened nicknames far too much for one man to change their habits.

"Thank you," he sincerely replied and picked up his knife and fork. He hesitated a moment before slicing off a piece of sausage and scooping it up with some of the mashed potatoes and gravy.

The bite was perfect and his expression reflected it.

Today was much better than he'd expected.

It mightn't have looked exactly like the kind of inn you'd find in the Midlands, but it was similar enough that Cara felt on more familiar ground, and judging from the smells coming from the kitchen, Zedd would like it here well enough.

"Ale," she said, then added "Thanks." It was probably best to be polite around the crazy people.

"Don't get much call for ale round these parts," Shirl told her with a grin, grabbing a Coopers from the fridge under the counter. "Makes a bit of a change from all the Fosters the blokes 'round here seem to drink." She opened the bottle, and put it and a glass on the counter in front of Cara. "Get you anything else?"

"It's hard to find anyone in the Midlands who doesn't drink ale," Cara said, gratefully taking the bottle and glass. "Ah, no, I ate earlier." She hadn't wanted to risk more of last week's bugs.

"Never heard of the Midlands, luv," Shirl said, leaning on the counter, settling in for a good long gossip. "Is that down in Queensland?"

"No," Cara replied quickly. "They're not part of this land." A fact for which she was profoundly grateful.

"Huh," was Shirl's response. "Coulda sworn I heard a bit of an Aussie accent. Never mind." She leaned forward a little closer. "So tell me, what's it like having old Mick there," she jabbed a thumb in Mick's direction, "as a teacher?"

Cara refrained from rolling her eyes. "I get that a lot." Mostly from Mick, so clearly this entire country was full of people with hearing difficulties.

"I can honestly say I've never had a teacher like him before." Namely completely and utterly deranged. Though Drake was working his way up there.

"I can believe that!" Shirl slapped a hand on the counter and hooted a decidedly piercing laugh. "He's a crazy one, is our Mick. I can't believe anyone actually let him teach!"

"Neither can I," Cara remarked dryly.

Ocker 101 - week 5 - period 4 [11/06]

Order some food or a drink from Shirl

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