fandomhigh | Library [06/02]

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library

Library [06/02]

Once the library was set up for the day, Sam went into list-making mode. One set of lists was everything he planned on taking with him to New York vs. what he was going to leave at the house vs. what he was going to throw out or give away. Then came the lists of what was going to get packed together (to lead to the fewest amount of boxes possible, of course), and then the lists of what he was going to bring to New York when he visited Peter vs. what he'd be bringing when he actually moved. That list was mostly books; hopefully Peter wasn't kidding about putting up more bookshelves for him or they were going to be tripping over Sam's collection in every room.

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"I'm moving in with Peter," Sam said. "I'm going to spend a few weeks learning my way around the city and being with Peter before classes start. I...I didn't know you were going to be here, and I didn't know Dad was going to leave and...are you pissed?"

Dean didn't answer that. "Is this some kind of way to prove we're not codependent or something?"

Sam couldn't help but laugh as he shook his head. "No, this has been my plan since pretty much graduation. It's not about you, it's about Peter and how much I miss him."

"So... when I told you I'd come back to spend your last summer in Fandom with you, you knew you were going to leave halfway through and didn't bother mentioning that?" Dean's tone was making the answer to Sammy's question a little more obvious.

"I thought that maybe you being here would make me change my mind," Sam said. "Or Dad being gone would, or Peter would change his mind or...something would happen that would lead to me not disappointing you."

Dean wasn't going to bring up the whole thing about how this was Sammy keeping things from him again, even as he swore he wasn't going to keep any more secrets. No, he was too busy focused on - "You're ditching me to go shack up with your boyfriend a couple of months early."

"I'm not ditching you," Sam said. "It's not like I'm leaving and I'm never going to speak to you again. I just won't be here."

"Where I am. Because I came back to spend your last summer with you before you go off to college," Dean restated the main points in case college boy hadn't actually figured that much out.

Sam sighed, looking genuinely guilty. "I haven't done very well this summer, have I? In the 'good brother' category."

Dean sighed. "I may have been riding you a little hard," he admitted. "But... is it really so bad here that you really can't wait to leave it? I thought you liked it here as much as I did."

"No, I love it here. Fandom is our home, for as long as Dad and Zoe want it to be," Sam said. "If I had my way, you and Peter would both be here and I'd be able to stay here and go to college too. But that's not how it works."

"You're not supposed to leave for college early though," Dean protested. "I didn't leave early. Hell, I even came back this summer!"

"I'm sorry," Sam said, not sure what else he could say. "Look, the time I have left? Consider it all yours, for whatever you want to do."

Dean's eyes narrowed. "If we weren't brothers, that would sound disturbingly like a pity date."

"Yeah, well, it's not. It's me wanting to enjoy the time I have left here," Sam said. "With you, because you're my brother."

It still felt more like Sammy throwing him a consolation bone than a genuine desire to spend time with him, but Dean knew he was going to take the offer regardless. But that didn't mean he wasn't going to get some payback. "You're so giving a talk on phone sex next class," he informed Sammy.

"What?!" Sam said, his eyes going wide. That wasn't what he'd been expecting.

"You just said whatever I want to do. Next class is on kinks and I want you to tell them about phone sex."

"You do know that if I die of embarrassment, we'll never be able to hang out again, right?" Sam asked.

"You shouldn't be doing it if you can't talk about it," Dean told him with just a touch of a smirk. He was still feeling a little gut punched about Sammy not wanting to spend the whole summer here, but not enough not to make Sammy flail.

"Fine, I'll talk about it, but everyone's going to see the serious difference in our teaching styles," Sam said reluctantly. This was what he got for making open-ended promises to Dean.

"If you could get over having the vapours from me oh my god talking about having sex like it's a normal part of life, what is it that I've been saying in class that you think is so horrible?" Dean asked.

"Nothing," Sam insisted. "But you know I'm not as comfortable talking about sex as you are."

"I really don't get that," Dean said. "I mean, you know it's nothing to be embarrassed over." He paused and looked inquisitively at Sammy. "Don't you?"

"Phone sex?" Sam asked. "Or sex in general?"

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