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Library [06/02]

Once the library was set up for the day, Sam went into list-making mode. One set of lists was everything he planned on taking with him to New York vs. what he was going to leave at the house vs. what he was going to throw out or give away. Then came the lists of what was going to get packed together (to lead to the fewest amount of boxes possible, of course), and then the lists of what he was going to bring to New York when he visited Peter vs. what he'd be bringing when he actually moved. That list was mostly books; hopefully Peter wasn't kidding about putting up more bookshelves for him or they were going to be tripping over Sam's collection in every room.

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"Fine, I'll talk about it, but everyone's going to see the serious difference in our teaching styles," Sam said reluctantly. This was what he got for making open-ended promises to Dean.

"If you could get over having the vapours from me oh my god talking about having sex like it's a normal part of life, what is it that I've been saying in class that you think is so horrible?" Dean asked.

"Nothing," Sam insisted. "But you know I'm not as comfortable talking about sex as you are."

"I really don't get that," Dean said. "I mean, you know it's nothing to be embarrassed over." He paused and looked inquisitively at Sammy. "Don't you?"

"Phone sex?" Sam asked. "Or sex in general?"

"Both."

"Well, wanting something especially dirty like phone sex is kind of embarrassing," Sam said. "And when you're talking about your sex life, it's embarrassing to the people with less experience, and makes you an embarrassment to the people who have more experience."

Dean shook his head. "Sometimes I wonder how we could have grown up in the same family and you ended up with all these hangups."

"Aren't you embarrassed by me and how vanilla I am compared to you?" Sam asked, like that proved his point.

"I've never been embarrassed by you," Dean said. He paused, searching his memories, but couldn't think of anything that might make a liar out of him, but couldn't think of anything.

"Really?" Sam asked. "Not about sex?"

"Maybe a little bit with the whole us fucking when we're evil thing, but other than that, nope."

Sam laughed. "That's an entirely different thing," he said. "Do I have to talk about the kinds of things I say to Peter, or can I just talk about phone sex in general?"

Dean considered. "Depends on how irritated I am on Friday that you're leaving early."

"Does the fact that I didn't mean to irritate you help at all?" Sam asked.

"I haven't decided yet," Dean said honestly.

"I guess I'll plan for both then," Sam said. "Do you believe me when I say it's not about getting away from you?"

"Yeah," Dean said. "But it's not about that, not the way you're making it out. It's not about you getting away so much as you not caring to stay."

"I care a lot. I'm going to miss this place like crazy," Sam said. "I just...miss Peter more, I guess."

"More than you'll miss me. Us. The family." And, okay, maybe he was irritated -- to say the least -- at this. "This is possibly the last few months we'll have to be here -- be home -- together like this for who knows how long you're blowing off the opportunity just to move in with your boyfriend a couple months sooner."

"That's not what I meant. Right now, I don't miss you at all, because I'm here. I'm sure that when I'm in New York, I'm going to miss you just as much as I've missed you all year," Sam said.

"Yeah, but this opportunity won't be here later," Dean pointed out. "Hell, you think I didn't miss Alec last summer? You think I don't miss him now? But I stayed last summer and I came back this summer because I wanted us to have these last few months together in the same world before we go on to completely different lives."

Now it was Sam's turn to frown. "It's not like I'm going to go to college and we're never going to see each other again, is it?" he asked. "I mean, you're going to come visit me and I'm going to come whenever you need help with a hunt and--right?"

"If you're not too busy being all college boy with your boyfriend," Dean muttered.

"Hey," Sam said sharply, trying to look Dean in the eyes. "I will never be too busy for you. Got it?"

Library [06/02]

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