fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, March 23, 2nd period]

Today Anakin's desk was covered with droid babies in bassinets. Each baby had a tiny stuffed Ewok tucked next to it. Hush.

"Today we talk about lust," Anakin said, pulling his attention back from the wall he'd been staring at, trying to get a handle on a bad feeling he'd been having since stepping foot on the island yesterday. "Or rather, the unintended consequences that can happen when you take action without precautions."

He smiled. Evilly. Some of his lesson plans might have changed this semester, but he had been looking forward to the droid babies with something close to unholy glee this go-around. "Meet your little projects for the next week. They're heavy, they cry, and they will record everything you do with them. So if you stuff them into a closet for the duration, believe me, I'll know."

After all, he'd built all of them.

He reached for a list of paper. "I've paired you up together." His smile turned a little more evil. "And some of your babies are a little fussier than others."

Griffin O'Conner (TA) & Effy Stonem
Andy Gallagher & Claire Bennet
Arthur Pendragon & Illyria
Bruce Wayne & Jean Grey
Calvin & Dru Anderson
Dan Humphrey & Leia Organa
Jacob Black & Nobody Owens
Layla Miller & Zack Fair

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Yes," Arthur said, picking up the child as if it was a particularly gruesome dishrag, "I could tell."

It of course reacted to that by making a sound Illyria had only heard made by the bladder-creatures of the Styxian underworld when you punctured them with something sharp. Like a tooth you'd just knocked out of something else's head.

Which sounded like a good plan to Illyria. "Make it stop."

Arthur visibly winced away from it. Certainly, he'd decided (privately) to try and be a better father than his father was, when the time came, but he'd never factored fake babies into the equation.

Or, really, if you honestly asked him.

"...I'm not sure how."

"It's pretending to be an infant; perhaps it requires nursing."

Which Illyria certainly wasn't going to do, so obviously it was Arthur's job.

Arthur blinked. He considered that. He nodded. "Excellent idea," he said, and shoved it at Illyria.

She was the woman here!

Illyria made no move to take it, just stared at him as if he'd grown several more heads and none of them were attractive. "I'm not its mother. All my spawn were got on other gods."

She paused, then added, "I ate most of them."

"Well, don't eat this one," Arthur snapped back, storing away that little gem for posterity. Somewhere at the back of his head. Where he wouldn't have to think about it. "You're the woman. You can do the nursing. I'm hardly equipped, am I?"

"Your physical shortcomings are hardly my concern."

Perhaps she could eat it, and then they could just claim it had been stolen?

"You don't have them," Arthur pointed out, sort of... wagging the baby about. "Do I really have to spell this out? Stop complaining and tend to it."

As if to underscore his point, the baby let go of a salvo of weeping that practically burnt out Arthur's eardrums.

Edited 2010-03-23 06:41 (UTC)

Illyria looked down at herself. "Most of that is armor." Winifred Burkle wasn't exactly built for rearing spawn. "And it's clearly not meant to actually suckl--"

The noise. The noise.

"BE SILENT OR I SHALL CONSUME YOUR FLESH AND SUCK THE GRISTLE FROM YOUR TINY METAL BONES!"

Arthur blinked.

So did the baby. It meant a silence that lasted all of five seconds.

Then the noise resumed at a higher pitch and volume.

Arthur winced anew and dropped it the fuck back in the bassinet. "...Perhaps Merlin will know what to do with it."

Edited 2010-03-23 07:06 (UTC)

"Transform it into something with no mouth?" Illyria suggested. Though of course, she could do that as well. Just without magic, by ripping its lips off.

"Well, it's supposed to be a child," said Arthur, who had long ago decided to give Illyria her own spot in his mind. One far, far away from any fear receptors. "He... probably knows how to take care of one." He snapped his fingers, and pointed. "Or Francine. She likes children. It'll be like... a gift."

Edited 2010-03-23 14:10 (UTC)

Illyria raised an eyebrow. "Is she mentally afflicted?"

This was Arthur's thinking face.

"Well..."

Clearly elaboration of her point was required. "Is she mentally afflicted enough to accept it?"

"Of course she is. I did just say so."

Squint.

"Has it deafened you or something?"

"No, but I suspect it is trying to consume my soul." She knew how that felt, and the effects of that noise were verging on similar.

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," Arthur said, with a shallow laugh, "You haven't even touched it yet." Unlike him. He pulled a face. "It's just a small object that's... wiggling at us right now..."

He quickly moved to turn it around so it would stop staring at them.

"I don't plan to touch it. You can carry it to this Francine person."

Oh hell no.

"You are not leaving me to deal with this," he ordered, "Man up and take some responsibility."

By helping him fob it off on someone else. Listen, half the work of leading was knowing what your strengths and weaknesses were.

"You are the one who knows her," Illyria pointed out.

"And you are this child's other parent," Arthur shot back, "Unless you'd like me to leave you to find someone to care for it."

Illyria shrugged. "I am fairly certain I could successfully consume it, though I might retain the bones for the fashioning of some sort of jewelry or perhaps a small dagger."

... Yes, into the special Illyria folder that went.

"You try bringing that up with the professor and I'll consider letting you."

Edited 2010-03-23 15:28 (UTC)

Re: Pair #3: Arthur Pendragon & Illyria

bitchy_smurf - 2010-03-23 15:35 (UTC) - Expand

bitchprince - 2010-03-23 15:48 (UTC) - Expand