fandomhigh | Library [03.14]

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Library [03.14]

//I don't. Eat. Pie.//

Jono was having a bit of a difficult time of things, today at the library. A small army of amusingly dressed rodents seemed to have accosted the entire contents of the cookbook section, and had constructed a wee rat-sized pirate ship out of those books. All of them seemed to hold a common theme, in that they all seemed to be flipped open to pie recipes.

The rat that he could only assume was the captain was pointing demandingly at a picture of a particularly attractive bumbleberry pie, and was waving his wee cutlass at Jonothon threateningly.

//And even if I did, I certainly wouldn't bake any for yer.//

It was moments like this that he seriously found himself wishing he could just direct any and all annoyances on through the door into Special Collections.

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//Ben,// Jonothon acknowledged, making a point to ignore the rats as they attempted to corral him back up onto the desk again. There weren't any sharks, and so he clearly was going to have to jump a second, third, eleventh time until something interesting happened. //Come on in, join th'party. There are rats.//

Many, many rats.

They said 'arrrrr.'

"There weren't rats yesterday, right?" Ben checked. "This isn't a weekend where people have turned into rats?"

Jono shook his head, idly punting one of the things across the room. It had attempted to stab him in the ankle. The thing had it coming, really.

//I didn't notice any, yesterday,// he replied. //I think these little plonkers are just a general one-day Fandom-being-Fandom.... thing.//

At least he hoped so. Otherwise, he was going to owe one hell of an apology to whoever that rat was.

"They're wearing hats," Ben observed, blinking. "Do you think they're related to the squirrels?"

//Pirate rodents,// Jono noted. //They've got to at least be distant cousins, mate.//

A rat waved its little cutlass at him with an angry chitter, scolding him.

//... Matey.//

There. That was better.

Ben snickered. "This place is thermal. How have you been?"

//Been worse,// Jono allowed, giving his head a bit of a shake and then settling into something almost like a smirk. //It's been a bloody eventful few weeks, I think. But I can't complain too much. I was myself last weekend, when most of th'island was runnin' about confusin' th'hell out of one another. Yerself?//

"I was me too," Ben replied. "My roommate and aunt and cousin, not so much."

//My roommate was fine,// Jono offered, as though this somehow made things better. Didn't it? Maybe? //My girlfriend was a somewhat unsettling version of Death.//

Even if she did have a very nice rack.

//Yer seem to have made it out of th'weekend alright, though?//

Well. In one piece, at least?

"Oh, I'm fine," Ben said with a smile.

After a nightmare and a wee breakdown, yes.

"Now I'm just killing time waiting for Fight Club."

//Nothin' more therapeutic than bruisin' yer knuckles on someone else's jaw, hm?//

Jonothon nodded. //I might show, too. Depends on whether or not I end up bein' kidnapped by rats, first. I might have to invoke parley just t'get out of here at th'end of my shift.//

Ben laughed. "Maybe we should invite them to come. I'm sure they have some aggression to work out, as well."

//Do yer suppose Tyler and Ghanima'll be able to overlook their tiny little cutlasses and blunderbusses?//

... Blunderbuss was such a fun word.

"Blunderbuss?" Ben repeated, snickering. "You made that up."

//I absolutely did not,// Jono replied, doing his best to at least seem affronted, there. //It's th'type of gun they use.//

As if on cue, a small troupe of pi-rats wandered in, an encyclopedia balanced between them, open to just the right page.

... They were almost useful around here, when they weren't making nuisances of themselves.

//See?//

"I apologize," Ben said, shooting a grin at Jono. "It doesn't sound like a real world."

He'd now be trying to work it into conversation for weeks.

//Most words don't sound like real words, do they? Th'entire language is just a muddle of syllables an' spit, half th'time.//

Well, not so much spit, for Jono. But the point was made.

//It's th'ones that don't sound real that are probably most likely t'be, I think.//

Words like 'plonker!' He liked that one.

Ben looked thoughtful. "Especially some of the alien languages," he offered. "You should get Tahiri to speak Tusken for you. It's all growls."

Pause.

"Once Tahiri gets back."

Jono eyed Ben for a moment, and then gave his shoulders a shrug.

//Yer know, I don't know that I've ever actually met Tahiri?//

Jono wasn't really the most social creature, after all.

"I'll have to fix that," Ben said with a tiny smile. "You'd like her."

//I suppose she'd have t'be th'likable sort, for yer t'end up with her, hm?//

It was a Ben thing, Jono supposed. He attracted people who were difficult to hate.

... Which didn't explain himself so much, except that they'd been assigned together when he was a new student, and all.

"Maybe," Ben said, blushing. "She's pretty astral. Well, this version, anyway."

//And this version's th'one that matters,// Jono noted, carefully. He'd had enough experience with alternate selves already this week to be able to spot a sore point when he saw one. //Tell me about her then, mate? This one, I mean.//

"She has the best smile in the galaxy," Ben said with a grin of his own. "And she's astral with a lightsaber, and she's funny. And she never wears shoes, which made zombie fighting kind of gross."

//Ew,// Jonothon agreed.

Zombies were one of a multitude of things that he never wanted to attempt to fight without shoes on his feet.

//Sounds like yer found yerself a good one, mate,// he replied, and then he was more or less hell-bent on looking amused. //Though I've got to respectfully disagree with yer on one count, mate.// ARRR! //... Matey.//

Sigh.

//Didi's smile is th'best in th'galaxy, and nobody out there can possibly tell me otherwise.//

It was a boyfriend thing, wasn't it?

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