fandomhigh | Win Friends | Period 4

If there was one thing Barney could do for the strange mix of teens filing into his classroom, it was provide them with porn.

And so there was a very large bin of tapes resting on the top of the podium.

"Porn! It's one of the greatest gifts Jesus left to man when he created the VCR." Barney paused to sigh and pick up Space Orgy, an old favorite. "It's to men what romance novels are to women. So, instead of a dozen pages of drivel followed by a sex scene and a lead up to a fake plot point where there's more sex, etc, you get simple situational plots leading to a whole lotta sexing. It's better, trust me." Barney should know, these were the tapes he'd replaced with DVDs recently. Please, as if he'd be giving up his porn any other way.

"Your task today - Come up with a fantastic porn title and WRITE THE PLOT OF YOUR VERY OWN PORN! Mix and match your cliches and kinks, get those brains working! You're here to win friends, right? Nothing says friendship like sharing. Go ahead and take a gander through this box. No judgment from here if you slip a box under your shirt for later. These are all free to a good home."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Name & Come Hither Icon

Didi

Mirax Terrik

Illyria

Chuck Bartowski

Tybalt Capulet

Katina Choovanski

Cyd Sherman

Jack Burton

How pleased are you to be in this class today? Feel free to take some porn home with you.

Didi wasn't a prude, she just didn't get the whole human porn thing. (That was one thing about existing for millenniums. You got a little blasé about what could be done with genitalia, thanks.)

Eh. She'd lived through worse hours. But she wasn't touching the porn.

Sadly, Mirax knew she was swiping a box or two. Because the resale value on this, tapes or not, had to be pretty good and she was nothing if not an opportunist.

Illyria was vaguely interested in the pornography, which compared favorably to her reaction to most things that weren't killing stuff. She flipped through the tapes, noting that none of the pictures on the boxes matched up with the candle-lit tenderness of the force-fed memories in the back of her head.

She honestly wasn't sure if that was a bad thing, or a good one.

Chuck was rapidly turning a very obvious shade of pink - which only got worse as the lecture went on and he realised what he had to do.

He'd be staring directly at his desk, and nothing short of someone hitting him would have him doing otherwise.

Hey, if not many other students were going to help themselves to this stuff, then Tybalt sure as hell was. And he'd do it without turning funny colors, or even attempting to hide that fact, thank you very much.

Oooh, this one looked like a good title. And that one. And oh, a classic!

He liked this class. Oh yes.

Katchoo had arrived at class with a sketchbook that had all its pages in it.

By the time she left class, her sketchbook would be down ten or so pages, and her legacy for the day would be a pile of tiny, tiny pieces of shredded paper under her desk. It was a fair exchange for not smashing the desk, okay?

Come up with an excellent real or fake porn title and write a little synopsis of what would happen! Be as vague as you'd like or steal from real things! It's all in the name of entertainment.

If Illyria had a que? icon, she'd be using it. None of the plots or titles of the items in the bin looked appealing, and it wasn't as if she had personal experience of what might appeal to her in this body, Fred's preferences shoved aside. So she sat and frowned at her notebook, which so far just had 'Ichor?' scribbled on it. In Sumerian.

Barney misses Tink more than any of you can possibly know.

"I'm confused," Didi said cheerily after class. "How is porn about being a good friend?"

Barney stared. This one had missed something. "You can't share what you don't have. So get porn and then share it." Perfect sense.

Didi stared back, amused. "Okay. Couldn't I share cookies? I like cookies better than porn."

"Cookies?" Barney looked Didi over. "Yes, share your cookies. You'll be very popular."

Didi wrinkled her nose. "Aren't you a little old to hit on students?"

"Old?" She was kidding, right? "Barney Stinson is not old."

"I didn't mean on the grand universal scale." Didi was not going to roll her eyes. "On the grand universal scale, you're a baby. It's still kind of rude to make innuendos at students, is all."

She shrugged. "Not a big deal."

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Robin will be absent today due to a decision not to introduce Robin to porn. I don't yet have an IC reason yet. Put it down to a stomach bug I suppose.

Totally understandable. Barney won't notice who's present, so there won't be any IC consequences!

Win Friends | Period 4 | Class 10

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