DADA for Muggles [Wednesday, September 23rd, 5th period]

[siriuslyscarred.livejournal.com]

Today the classroom's ceiling was enchanted a cheery blue and the windows were open to let in the breeze. The guests of the week were slightly...well, rank.

"In our first class, zombies were mentioned as being an example of a dark art," Sirius began, giving their exhibits a slightly wary look. But it stopped him from staring rudely at the class. "And while some of the zombies in this town play musical instruments," which was still bloody odd, "that is hardly the, er, preferred career choice for the shuffling undead."

"No, the undead tend to find employment...er, such as it is, under the direction of functioning, living evil creatures. In our world, they're called Inferi, and they serve as dormant guards, until they're disturbed," Remus said. "They they drag their victim down to smother him or her, or drown, as the case may be. Zombies in general, however, from what we've learned in our time here, are often the victims of a sort of virus. Being bitten by a zombie will infect the victim with the condition as well, and since zombies feed on human flesh, it's a cycle of constant biting and infecting. I imagine this is why this genre of film is so popular -- it's a perfect formula."

Sirius nodded. "Though why the people at a dead sprint always lose to things that are losing their limbs remains a mystery for the ages. The lesson to glean from this, children, is that the dead should stay dead. This--" he jerked a thumb toward the Inferi, "--is no way to come back." He clasped his hands together. "Today we offer you two options for interaction: taping back our poor friends' parts onto themselves, or working on a breathing mask so that the smell doesn't knock you out."

"And, ladies and...." Remus stared at the class for a moment before clearing his throat and continuing, "well, gentlemen, we have extra credit for you this week. If you get a chance, go down to the bar and try to interview the zombies in the band there. We're not sure what they'll have to say, but they'll be a different experience from our Inferi."

Comments

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"I should've worn a hat to see if people could guess without the hair," Francine said with a small, rueful smile. "As long as the glitter doesn't attract zombies, I'm all for it." No, she would not be helping tape them up, thank you.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"You can borrow mine?" Dinah offered, having worn a baseball cap mostly to just have one thing of her own she could wear. "And here, silver glitter. Maybe it filters out the smell, I don't know." She held up a box of feathers, then sneezed. "Has to be better than these." She sighed and looked from herself to Francine. "You look cute as a guy?" Hey, take your consolation where you could.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"Everybody looks cute as a guy. So far." Francine's way of not dealing with the fact that she was now attracted to people who were usually girls was... special. "Merlin thinks it's not fair that I got muscles."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"I would've been way more upset if I hadn't," Dinah said, flexing one arm, and smirking happily. "Merlin didn't get extra muscles as a girl, did he? His loss." Dinah was finding that the answer to the question she and Priestly once pondered was 'bi for a day', since her body seemed to find the idea of girls attractive... but her head still found all the guys around her cute, way cute, and her body seemed to be okay with that, too. "What was his reaction to you being a cute guy?"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"..." Yeeeah, not going there. "Mostly confused, I think." Which was true enough. For everyone in the room at the time and oh God do not say bi-for-a-day in Francine's hearing or her brain might explode. "...And kind of in pain because I accidentally kicked him."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Oooops." Dinah winced at that, at least, feeling sorry for Merlin. Not gonna ask where, not gonna ask! "It's a little--" Freaksome. Weeeeird. Frightening, but fascinating. "Overwhelming. But I think I'd feel worse if I didn't have my TK. Or if this was gonna last longer than a day." Having Layla tell her to experiment hadn't really helped, though. Dinah reached for a box for coffee filters, floating it to herself and shaking her head. "And is it possible to think your self is really hot, without it being totally narcissistic?" Seriously. She would so date herself. It boggled the mind.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

She was so asking the wrong girl. Guy. Francine Peters ever think herself was hot? Please.

"I...guess? I mean you, um. Are." Really kind of really. Not that when Dinah was a girl, she wasn't... Oh brain and body, stop.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"So are you!" Dinah said with the same enthusiasm she'd told Francine yeah, buy the Book! You look really great with all that cleavagey dress at the Prom! "Which, you know, I haven't really figured out much more about guys from being one? But certain things are a lot more ... obvious." Ahem. Hmm. "Want a coffee filter?"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Francine, don't look down in panic to see if that obvious was a reference to you.

Okay, fine, if you look down in panic to see if that obvious was a reference to you, could you at least cover it well when you look back up?

"Do you think that would help make it less obvious?"

So that was a no, then. TO MAKE A MASK, FRANCINE.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Wha...? Oh!" Dinah blinked. A lot. And that face is no better at hiding the internal Heeeee than the female version. "Um. We're making... zombie protection?" She coughed, eyebrows going up at the same time as the blush. "'Cause of the class?" Not some other kind of protection, Francine!

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"...I knew that." Which didn't stop Francine from sitting down and facedesking. "This is so weird." This didn't count as freaking out, right?

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"It is! If it were just one thing, but it isn't. I get why most of the guys were freaking out now. It's not just the bits, or the no-breasts, or the new face, or that I'm five inches taller-- and I kind of love that-- it's all at once." Dinah sat forward, face intent. "It's like driving, with the rear view mirror and the gear shift and the side mirror and the brake and the steering wheel all a the same time. Forget playing the radio! Or getting a phone call from, I don't know, your hormones!" She took a breath, then paused. "I don't sound too freaked out, do I?" Dude. Not cool. Try not to headdesk with Francine.

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"On a scale of normal-you to now?" Francine had to smile. "You mostly just sound excited."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Well. That's something." Dinah sighed, then smirked. "At least I'm not hiding in my room like some people were." More cheerful, she said, "How're you doing?"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Okay, so. This was Dinah. One of maybe two people on this island she could say something like this to, and Firekeeper would listen, but she wouldn't get it.

So far under her breath that even squirrels couldn't hear it, she whispered, "MerlinandIwokeupinbedtogether."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Whoa," Dinah blurted, before she slapped a hand over her mouth to hide either a smile or anything else from escaping, eyebrows going way up. "Dude."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

"Yeah. That was, uh. Weird." Pause. "Confusing."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"I'd guess, yeah!" Then Dinah frowned, looking throughtful, considering her own weirdness of bi-for-a-day, and gave Francine a sympathetic look. "Especially with..." Um. She glanced at the coffee filters again, then nodded, eyes squinting and trying not to picture Merlin and Francine-as-a-guy. "Oh, wow."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Leap to the wrong conclusion without a parachute in three, two, one... "We didn't!" Whoa, way too loud. "I mean. Oh god, you know what I mean. That would've been.....way beyond weird."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Ah-ha." Dinah nodded wisely, although she was definitely feeling waaaaay out of her depth, and tilted her head in a very-familiar gesture. "But you thought about it, right?"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Oh-ho, this body was so not any less prone to flushing than the other one.

Francine had thought about a lot of things.

"Well. It'dbekindofhardnotto."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

And that would be Dinah breaking into what on a guy were uncontrollable snickers at that pun, intentional or not, and turning just as red. Stupid fair Viking skin. Cough.

"Um." Hee! "Right. Well..." What to say? What Would Tony Say? Yeah, no, don't say that. "Whatever you do, I hope it goes... well."

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Who knew boy Francine could make this face too? :-O

"OhmygodIamnotgonnadoANYTHINGexceptgobacktomyroomandsleepinmyownbedtonight!"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[blondecanary.livejournal.com]

"Right! Sleep well!" Dinah said, nodding vehemently. "Because, yeah. With the... right. Moving on." She blew out a breath and involuntarily blew glitter over toward Francine. And frowned. "Um. So. Zombie filters?"

Re: Make breathing devices!

[thatsamilkshake]

Moooooooooooving on. Right.

Francine flicked glitter off her nose. "What if you used two, and stuck something that actually smells good between them? Or at least strong. Like, uh. Vapo-Rub."