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How to Win Friends and Influence People Class 2: Sept. 11

Glinda was waiting at the front of the classroom, and seemed less cheery than usual. Although there were still snacks in the form of a cake and tea. "Today's lesson covers the fundamentals of handling people. They are as follows: First, don't criticize, condemn or complain. Second, give honest and sincere feedback. Third, motivate the other person to genuinely want to achieve what you are aiming for.

"Today's activity will revolve around that. I want you to pair up. You will take turns proposing the craziest idea you can think of, and the other will try to critique without coming across as namby-pamby or overtly harsh. Any questions? No? Then let's begin."

[OCD up! Up super early for SP justice. Roster, syllabus, and other fun things can be found at that link. See OOC note for how to make today more interesting.]

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Didi loved letting innuendo go over her head. It made life much easier and it annoyed guys.

"Calling people names?" Didi asked, incredulous. (Because, yeah, lame.) "Sure. Except I don't really have enemies. Got any we could borrow?"

"A house entire," Tybalt noted, smirking faintly. Hey, if incredulous was the best reaction he could get out of this girl, then he'd take it. "The family Montague, which mine own hath been plagued by throughout history. If the say were mine, I'd hunt the lot of them, let them taste the bite of my Rapier."

Did that sound a little more crazy? Tybalt didn't think it sounded crazy at all. Why would it be?

... um, because it was?

"Really," Didi said, leaning to rest her chin on her hand. "You want to stab them all because of their last name?" A beat. "That's like how half the wars in history got started."

"Oh, I'd not take any part in something so primitive," Tybalt said, about as reassuringly as possible, considering how slimy he was. "A Rapier is a pistol."

See? See how very different that was?

"And if war is what comes of such an action, then I'll gladly take it and seek out the victory that belongs with the Capulet name. I've no place for peace."

Edited 2009-09-11 16:09 (UTC)

"And you're probably going to think that right up until somebody aims a rapier at you, huh?" Didi wasn't psychic. She'd just seen this shit too often.

"I have had," Tybalt said, scoffing only slightly. "And I will have again. And I'll not have anybody take me for a coward. I am here, at this school, only because mine uncle bids it so. But so long as I make residence in fair Verona, I'll not abide by tresspass upon my family or thier property, no."

... yeah, Didi wasn't impressed.

"So what did they do to you?"

"It was an unforgivable tresspass, the like of which I'll not go discussing with just anybody."

Which was to say, they'd been hating the Montagues so long, and the Montagues had been hating them back for just as long, and Tybalt had absolutely no freaking clue.

"My mistake," Didi said, pointedly not rolling her eyes. "Okay. So you hate these people and you want me to call them names. What do I get out of it?"

"Good staading among the house of Capulet," Tybalt decided. Because just calling them names was totally all it took to be liked by the Capulets. Really. "Unless there was some price that thou happened to be seeking, in particular."

"No offense, but I don't think you could give me anything I would want," Didi said. "And, um, I'm not so sure you want to bargain with me anyhow. I'll do it if you say thank you."

... Well. She was easy, wasn't she? Tybalt found himself wondering if perhaps he should have attempted to proposition her with innuendo, after all.

"Very well," Tybalt agreed. "Slanderous words spoken about mine enemy, with my thanks as payment."

Didi was only easy when it didn't matter. When it didn't matter, it was more fun to say yes than to say no.

"Not to their faces," she specified. "I don't have any reason to argue with them. They're probably perfectly nice."

Excuse Tybalt for a moment. He had to make sputtering noises, now.

"They're villains! Vile, pretentious dogs who have no concept of appropriate conduct in the face of the superior house!"

"They didn't do anything to me," Didi said. Was it wrong of her to enjoy the sputtering?

"For a class assignment, I'll say they're jerks if it makes you happy. And then if it were an assignment, I'd say you were a jerk if it made them happy. It's really not my fight. Sorry."

"Thou didst ask if I had an enemy to share," Tybalt pointed out. "And now thou hast agreed to the task, and so I suppose ought to turn to thee and ask the same, for the sake of this class and this teacher's assignment. Is there some mad deed that thou wouldst see me perform?"

"Oh, I can think of a few," Didi said thoughtfully. "I want to see you stand on your chair and sing a song from a Disney movie at the top of your lungs. You can pick the song."

She was magnanimous.

"I know no Disney music," Tybalt replied, curling his lip faintly and giving his head a shake. "I was never the sort of child to content myself with the adventures of Bumbi or Dambo."

~~Or whatever the heck the Meta is. Or maybe he's getting it wrong on purpose. The world may never know.~~

"Too bad," Didi said. "Disney music is awesome."

A second later, she added, "What would you sing for me?"

"What would I sing for thee?" Tybalt gave her a critical look for a moment, and then he shook his head. "I believe thou art mistaking me for a man with a singing voice. That would be a mistake."

"Oh, come on," Didi said, smirking. "Everybody has a song. Don't be afraid to share yours."

It was entirely possible that she was intentionally being maddening.

"Thou art accusing me of being bashful?"

Now there was a concept that was relatively foreign to Tybalt, yes.

"Not especially, but there has to be some reason you won't sing," Didi said. "If you aren't afraid...."

She gestured. Chair. Up. Now, please.

Tybalt eyed Didi as though she'd gone absolutely mad.

And then he eyed the chair. And then Didi, yet again, before be deduced that no, he was the one who had lost his mind, here, and that if he was going to be absolutely insane, he might as well be insane, on a chair, and singing.

Which was exactly why he was shooting her one more defiant look before stepping up onto the aforementioned chair. He had his pride, after all.

Grinning, Didi clapped and waited politely for him to sing.

If she looked smug, it was because she figured she had won.

How to Win Friends and Influence People Class 2: Sept. 11

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