fandomhigh | a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2

The class was taking place in the Danger Shop today and Loki kind of couldn't wait for this lesson. He waited till everyone arrived, got settled before he started talking.

"Welcome back," he started, nodding at them all. "Hope you all had a wonderful fucking weekend and no one's melted because of the fucking heat."

It was fucking hot, man.

"Anyway, today, we're doing something that should be fun." For him. "And you all should, at one point or another, have to deal with this. Whether you're a guy or a girl, you're all going to have to slink into a store one night and buy condoms. Or maybe you'll have to buy fucking your mom some new underwear. Or, if you're really fucking lucky, some adult diapers. Yes, children, buying shit that embarrasses you is a fact of fucking life. Best to get over it now before because it's going to fucking happen and turning a bright shade of fucking red because you're embarrassed is not going to fucking help."

It'd just be amusing.

"The easiest thing to do just do it quick," he continued. "Find the item, buy it, make no fucking eye contact with the clerk and leave. Of course, this might be difficult if the clerk starts talking to you and you don't want to be a rude shit and ignore him or her. Then, you have to suck it up. There's also the 'buy lots of shit and hide the embarrassing thing in the middle' trick. If you buy a shit ton of mundane stuff, maybe you can lull the clerk into not thinking anything of your embarrassing purchase, right? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it just puts more focus on your embarrassing item. You could also try to make someone buy it for you. In this class, you're not going to get to do that but if you find someone that doesn't give a shit about buying stuff like that, then you're golden."

Loki grinned because this activity was going to be awesome.

"Today, you're all going to be buying something embarrassing," he said. "I've assigned items and it's your job to buy the thing, pay for it and get out of the store without stuttering or blushing like a fucking idiot. Sound easy? I guess we'll see, right? Get going."

Loki stood back and waited for the the first student to take their turn.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Helen wondered idly if there were other preparations A through G or perhaps even on beyond H. She set it down and nodded to the clerk. "Good morning."

The guy behind the counter looked bored and then amused when he saw what she was buying. "Having some rear trouble?"

"Not particularly," Helen replied, refraining from the desire to look behind her and see if something looked off. "You?"

"I'm not the one buying the cream," he said. "You could probably buy a small donut pillow too. Keep your burning when you sit down."

Helen wrinkled her nose at him, thinking a pillow made of donuts would not only be inefficient but rather messy. "Thank you," she said, "But I am only required to buy the Preparation H. Though perhaps you could explain to me what happened to the other Preparations. Were they found inadequate?"

"It's hemorrhoid cream, lady," the clerk said. "It's a brand name. It helps anal itching and rectal pain."

Helen sighed. "I am aware of that," she said as clearly as she could in case the man was as dim as he appeared. "I am, after all, able to read. I merely wondered if you could tell me what happened to the others. Is this one in a series? Did the others not work properly? Or perhaps they are lettered after the ailment they affect. Is there a Preparation S for sinus problems?"

"It's the brand name," the clerk repeated, enunciating slowly. "Someone randomly picked it and thought it'd make a good name for ass cream. There aren't any other preparations."

"Someone very foolish, no doubt," Helen said. "Very well. How much do I owe you?"

"Is there no price tag on that?" he asked, reaching for the container.

"There does not seem to be," she said moving it closer to him.

"That means I have to do a price check," he said, reaching for the microphone ~~mwahahahaha~~ and turning it on. Soon, through the entire store, the clerk's voice could be heard going, "Price check on Preparation H hemorrhoid cream. I need a price check on the hemorrhoid cream."

Helen sighed again. "Ask them to bring some aspirin along when they come. I do believe I need it after dealing with you."

"This isn't a full service store," he said, twirling the container and snickering. "You can go get it yourself."

Beside him, his little phone rang and the clerk picked it up, taking down the price.

"It's ten bucks," he said.

Helen handed him the money, rolling her eyes at the cost of something so foolish.

The clerk bagged the container and handed it to her, taking the money as he did. "Hope your rear gets better."

"And yours as well," she said politely.

"Yeah, right," he scoffed and waved her away from the checkout line. "Have a pleasant day."

a guide to getting past life's little quirks | wednesday | period 2 | august 12

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]

Re: class activity | embarrrassing item buying [llq 08/12]