fandomhigh | Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period

Despite the... weekend of hell and bitey bitey, Deadpool and Steve were there for class and ready to shape young minds with their hard earned wisdom.

"Okay, so things happened, stuff and blah blah blah. Class time now. No vampires here, thanks."

"Unless you happen to already be a vampire," Steve added quickly. "In which case you are, of course, welcome as long as you do not bite anyone. So! In light of this past week's events, and some confusion that I understand occurred over in that other universe, we thought it would be helpful to discuss ways to determine that your friends are who they say they are without hurting their feelings."

"Or having to kill them in a tragic fashion," Deadpool added. Because he was helpful like that. "There are many reasons why your friend may not be your friend anymore. Shapeshifting aliens, alternate timelines, evil goatees, possession, crazy mind control devices, really weird coincidences with people looking like twins..."

"You forgot actual evil twins," Steve provided helpfully. "Additionally, there are clones and people surgically altered to look like your friends. And I'm sure I'm still forgetting something. But the important thing is, when these things inevitably happen to you, how do you deal with them?"

Twins were easy to forget, okay?

"Like, having a special code word to let you know they're the right person!" Not that it helped, really. "Or having a telepath nearby to help out."

"You can also quiz--subtly your friend on something only they would know. But sometimes even these methods will fail you. Like your friend might have been replaced by a Skrull. In that case, you'll need to consider technology."

"Which they won't have." Really, Steve. Really. "But exists! So, how about we come up with a list of questions to subtly question each other in case of being replaced, kaaaay?"

"That sounds reasonable," Steve agreed. "You never know when it'll come in handy."

"Weeeeell. Get on it, kiddos!"

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Steve was also there, and glad to help in any way he could.

If they had any questions about crazy twins, well, he probably still had Northstar's phone number around somewhere.

Bobby did not have any questions about crazy twins! He did, however, have an apology to make about missing two weeks of workshops.

"Hey Mr. Um- sir?" he couldn't quite bring himself to say "Mr. Rogers", okay?

Steve smiled and asked him, "Yes, Bobby? And my name is Mr. Rogers. Or Steve is fine."

...Yeah no "Steve" was even more out of the question. Waaaaay too familiar. "I just, um. I was kind of a penguin for the last couple of classes. I know Kate came by to explain, but..." he trailed off, running one hand through his hair. "I wanted to, you know, make sure that you knew I wasn't just slacking off or something." Because Bobby and slacking didn't go hand-in-hand or anything.

"Right," Steve said. "Well. I appreciate your concern, but these things will happen."

"Well, sure, here," Bobby said with a snort. "I've never turned into a penguin before though."

Steve put one hand on Bobby's shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said, "Good work, son."

Possibly he was messing with him at this point.

"Um," Bobby blinked up at Steve. "...All in a day's work, you know?" he tried.

"Any day you can avoid being turned into a baby animal is a good day," Steve agreed.

Bobby nodded. "Mr. Deadpool wanted to put me in a kiddie pool full of ice," he said, frowning a little. "And charge people money to see."

Steve's brain got stuck on 'awwww' for a little bit, then he said, "Mr. Deadpool is a terrible, terrible man."

"Uh huh," Bobby nodded. "Wanting to take advantage of poor, defenseless penguin-me for the sake of profit and a few minutes entertainment!" Because Bobby would never do such a thing. To himself. Unless maybe he was the one profiting.

Edited 2009-08-04 00:12 (UTC)

"Terrible, really," Steve said, shaking his head. He kind of suspected that about Bobby.

Bobby nodded again, and then was silent for a few moments. "There's a you where I'm from!" he blurted finally. Segues were for other people.

Steve laughed. "There's a you where I'm from, too, actually."

"There is?" Bobby tilted his head. "And you've... met him?" not that he hadn't met his world's version of Steve. They just- hadn't exactly exchanged civilian identities or anything.

"Several times. You're much younger than in my reality. Or timeline," Steve said. "I'm not sure which, of course."

"Hah! In your face, Worthington," Bobby crowed. "...He said once he doesn't think I'll ever grow up," he explained. Yeah that's debatable, Bobby.

Re: Talk to the Teachers

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Of course Deadpool wasn't the only one getting cookies, today.

Zack approached Steve, giving him a little nod and holding out a box of Oreos. Yes, this was totally his coping strategy.

"Hey, Mr. Rogers. I, uhm." Were there really words for 'some other me was totally insane and some other you witnessed it?' "Cookies."

Eloquent.

Oh, God. It was the kid with the ball. "Zack," Steve said, awkwardly. "Thank you. For the cookies. You didn't have to do that."

Zack lifted a shoulder in a bit of a shrug, frowning somewhere in the general direction of his toes. He was going to forever be the kid with the ball, now.

... It kind of beat 'puppy.'

"I remembered seeing you over there, in one of those nightmares. Kind of figured that it probably sucked for you, too, if you were one of the ones that crossed over." A beat. "And if you weren't, well, hey. Cookies."

"Thank you," Steve said again. He was neither confirming or denying to anyone who hadn't actually seen him passed out whether he'd crossed over. It seemed like a sound policy to him, at least.

And Zack certainly wasn't going to pry, either. He was going to kind of nod, and then set the cookies on his desk, and attempt a tired smile.

"Take care, then."

Steve smiled back, looking equally tired. "You, too. Try to get some rest."

Oops, was that a giveaway?

Well, if it was, it could be their secret. Zack wasn't about to go around broadcasting what he'd seen on the other side. That just wasn't how this puppy rolled.

"Thanks, Mr. Rogers." And yet another little nod still, and he was turning to head off on his merry... sleepy way.