fandomhigh | Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period

Despite the... weekend of hell and bitey bitey, Deadpool and Steve were there for class and ready to shape young minds with their hard earned wisdom.

"Okay, so things happened, stuff and blah blah blah. Class time now. No vampires here, thanks."

"Unless you happen to already be a vampire," Steve added quickly. "In which case you are, of course, welcome as long as you do not bite anyone. So! In light of this past week's events, and some confusion that I understand occurred over in that other universe, we thought it would be helpful to discuss ways to determine that your friends are who they say they are without hurting their feelings."

"Or having to kill them in a tragic fashion," Deadpool added. Because he was helpful like that. "There are many reasons why your friend may not be your friend anymore. Shapeshifting aliens, alternate timelines, evil goatees, possession, crazy mind control devices, really weird coincidences with people looking like twins..."

"You forgot actual evil twins," Steve provided helpfully. "Additionally, there are clones and people surgically altered to look like your friends. And I'm sure I'm still forgetting something. But the important thing is, when these things inevitably happen to you, how do you deal with them?"

Twins were easy to forget, okay?

"Like, having a special code word to let you know they're the right person!" Not that it helped, really. "Or having a telepath nearby to help out."

"You can also quiz--subtly your friend on something only they would know. But sometimes even these methods will fail you. Like your friend might have been replaced by a Skrull. In that case, you'll need to consider technology."

"Which they won't have." Really, Steve. Really. "But exists! So, how about we come up with a list of questions to subtly question each other in case of being replaced, kaaaay?"

"That sounds reasonable," Steve agreed. "You never know when it'll come in handy."

"Weeeeell. Get on it, kiddos!"

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Steve put one hand on Bobby's shoulder, looked him in the eye, and said, "Good work, son."

Possibly he was messing with him at this point.

"Um," Bobby blinked up at Steve. "...All in a day's work, you know?" he tried.

"Any day you can avoid being turned into a baby animal is a good day," Steve agreed.

Bobby nodded. "Mr. Deadpool wanted to put me in a kiddie pool full of ice," he said, frowning a little. "And charge people money to see."

Steve's brain got stuck on 'awwww' for a little bit, then he said, "Mr. Deadpool is a terrible, terrible man."

"Uh huh," Bobby nodded. "Wanting to take advantage of poor, defenseless penguin-me for the sake of profit and a few minutes entertainment!" Because Bobby would never do such a thing. To himself. Unless maybe he was the one profiting.

Edited 2009-08-04 00:12 (UTC)

"Terrible, really," Steve said, shaking his head. He kind of suspected that about Bobby.

Bobby nodded again, and then was silent for a few moments. "There's a you where I'm from!" he blurted finally. Segues were for other people.

Steve laughed. "There's a you where I'm from, too, actually."

"There is?" Bobby tilted his head. "And you've... met him?" not that he hadn't met his world's version of Steve. They just- hadn't exactly exchanged civilian identities or anything.

"Several times. You're much younger than in my reality. Or timeline," Steve said. "I'm not sure which, of course."

"Hah! In your face, Worthington," Bobby crowed. "...He said once he doesn't think I'll ever grow up," he explained. Yeah that's debatable, Bobby.

From what Steve knew, Warren wasn't exactly wrong there, but he said, "Everyone grows up."

"I should get that in writing," Bobby mused. For, you know, that day when he finally caved and wrote home about how weird this place was. "Warren and Hank aren't way older than me, are they?" A thought occurred to him. "...Or way younger?"

"I'm not really sure how old all of you are," Steve admitted. "I think they might be a little older than you?"

"Well, yeah, that's normal," Bobby nodded. "But Jean- the Jean here- said they're way older than me where she's from. All this alternate timeline stuff makes my head hurt," he admitted.

"It can get pretty complicated," Steve said. "The best thing I can offer by way of advice is to just accept it and try not to let it bother you."

"Keep my cool, got it," Bobby nodded. "If there's one thing I can handle, I think that'd be it."

Steve was sure Bobby was good at keeping things cool, at least. "Right," he said, though, grinning. "You'll do fine here."

Ethics & Etiquette - 1st Period - 8/3

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