fandomhigh | Culture Shock, Thursday, 5/28, Period 2

When the students filed into the danger shop today, they'd find themselves stepping into a wooded area that vaguely resembled the preserve. Algren was standing between two trees with his arms crossed over his chest, and a frown very apparent on his lips. He enjoyed teaching classes outside, damn it. Being in the danger shop, conveniently away from whatever the hell those creatures outside were supposed to be, hardly counted at all.

"It's good to see that you've made it here in one piece," he greeted the students with. "And if you aren't in one piece, you shouldn't be here. If your injuries are severe, grab a well-armed posse and get yourselves to the clinic. If you figure it can wait, I'll escort you there myself after class."

That out of the way, he finally began to launch into the lecture.

"And on the off-chance that you haven't noticed, Fandom Island has segued us very nicely into the 'frustration' portion of the syllabus. Just when you start to work on settling in, something inevitably crawls out of the woodwork... or out of the sewers to throw you for a loop. What do you do when you're faced with the completely unexpected while you're trying to adjust to a new environment?"

At that very moment, unnoticed by Algren, a tiny green creature made its way up to him, put a tiny green finger to his slimy green lips as he grinned at the class, and then proceeded to take a large bite out of Algren's ankle. It then gave a little, gremlinny laugh, turned, and ran away to fiddle with the Danger Shop settings.

There was a long stream of language that was in no way suitable for a teaching environment before Algren finally settled down. At about the same time, from out of the shadows behind him, a swarm of crocodiles began to emerge. They were smaller than the alligators who were lurking outside, yes, but they were still big, hungry reptiles.

Immediately, Algren dropped to his hands and knees and began to sneak up to the nearest one.

"Crikey! Would you look at the size of this croc?" Between Algren's horrid approximation of an Australian accent and the bad dangershopped khakis, this could not possibly end well.

[ETA: The alligators are tomorrow! And I am facepalming. If Y'all would be so kind as to pretend that Algren's crazy is a result of the gremlin bite and the danger shop combined, I would kinda love you all forever. Thanks! (Maybe he was bitten a first time before he came in, and he's building up an immunity?)]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Arthur stared back at him. "I'm hardly going to hide like a girl," he pointed out, sensibly.

And then wound up kicking a rogue crocodile in the soft squishy parts. Oops?

Kenshin snorted.

"I'm unarmed, and those things could eat me in one bite."

"So you would rather cower," Arthur surmised, and rolled his eyes.

"I would rather survive to return to my country."

Pause.

"Besides, how do you know they aren't demons?"

"They're not exactly dragons, are they?" Arthur asked, shaking his head.

He managed to deflect one with some ingenious use of a loose branch.

"If you can't even face lizards unarmed, how on God's green Earth are you going to defend your country?"

"With my sword," he replied simply, in a tone that said nothing so much as duh. "I'm not trained in unarmed combat. And of course they're not dragons; any idiot can see that. But dragons aren't demons, and it's clear that our teacher is either insane or possessed."

"Gremlin bite," Arthur informed him.

Because that explained everything.

"And if you're not trained in unarmed combat, maybe you should start. What, if someone disarms you, are you just going to stand there and cry?"

He was a knight. They were kind of supposed to be walking tanks.

"I won't be disarmed," he replied. "So why bother considering a situation that will never happen?"

Pause.

"...Gremlin?"

"Oh, I'm sorry for the assumption," Arthur said, with the earnesty of the wolf in sheep's clothing about to chomp the sheep's bloody head off. "Yes, gremlins, they bite you, you hallucinate. Why in the name of God aren't you trained in unarmed combat?"

Kick a crocodile in the throat.

"Because I was raised by a swordmaster, not a kempo master, or a jujitsu master," he replied matter-of-factly.

He knew a few unarmed moves, but they were largely related to avoiding swordblows, countering swordblows, and taking the sword from your enemy. If you happened to be unarmed. Which, until coming to Fandom, he never was.

He was smart enough not to elaborate on that though.

"Well," Arthur noted, "That makes you fairly useless without a sword, doesn't it?"

Hell, half of Arthur's fighting style came down to using his body when the opponent expected an easy blade to parry.

"Why do you think I object so strongly to being without one?" he grumbled. He was completely aware of how useless he was without a sword.

"You may want to work on that," Arthur informed him.

"I'm open to suggestions," he admitted. "Behind you," he added, nodding at the incoming demon lizard.

It was a crocodile.

He slammed his elbow into its throat.

"I was aware of that."

Really!

No one has presented any evidence that it was not a demon lizard. It could eat him. In ONE BITE.

Perhaps Arthur had failed to notice that.

"Then I'm sure you're equally aware of the one to your left."

"Get out of the tree and do something useful," Arthur ordered.

While he was kicking.

"You're not my commander," Kenshin pointed out. "And I would be less useful on the ground."

Also, it was kind of funny watching Arthur battle the demon lizards. Not that he would say that out loud.

"As opposed to being useless in a tree?"

"If I'm in a tree, I'm neither being eaten, or getting in the way. Behind you again."

Of course, if he had his sword, there would be pieces of demon lizard all over the place.

"No--" He turned fast, using knee and elbow alike to fend it off, "You're simply wasting my time."

"I could just watch, and not tell you when you're about to be eaten," he offered helpfully.

Arthur rolled his eyes, but didn't answer.

...It was his way of saying that Kenshin had something of a point. Even if his lack of unarmed combat skills were ridiculous and going to get someone killed if he went into combat.

"Left," Kenshin said tersely.

Culture Shock, Thursday, 5/28, Period 2

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]

Re: The Activity [5/28]