fandomhigh | Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13

Rimmer was waiting in the Danger Shop, back stiff and smile smug. The room was set up like the average classroom, with desks and two #2 pencils on each. A copy of the syllabus lay in the exact center of each one, printed out crisp and fresh this morning. If there was a typo (or a complete nervous breakdown) on the sheet, he hadn't noticed as he'd been busy making sure that everything was perfect for his first class.

As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.

"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."

He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.

"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:

"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."

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"...But whatever you're thinking is going to change based on what I say," Turtle pointed out, "so it'd be almost impossible to guess what you're thinking, because what you're currently thinking is mercurial and changes like that." She snapped her fingers.

"Either way," she added, "I bet now you're thinking either 'what?' or 'okay, whatever, girl.' More or less."

Edited 2009-05-13 15:11 (UTC)

"Which is why," he continued for her, "you will have to think of it before I think of it to make me think of it when you guess I'm thinking of it."

He looked very pleased with himself.

"After all, a captain or other superior has many tasks to concern himself with in a day. If you can't adapt quickly, you've already proved your not officer material."

Much as he wasn't.

He put his hand to his jaw thoughtfully.

"Or you could try and break light speed and luck your way into a convenient future echo, but I wouldn't recommend it. Very distracting."

"Not to mention it seems a little...involved for a game of 'What am I thinking'."

"...I suppose it would be a bit difficult, not being on a space craft and all."

He hadn't thought of that.

It's been a while!

"And now," Turtle guessed, "you're thinking, 'this would be better if we were on a space craft.'"

His face squeezed in tight on itself, as if he'd just been slapped with a lemon.

"Dear god, no. Do you have any idea how long I've been trapped on that thing with those idiots?"

He shuddered dramatically.

"No, actually," Turtle admitted with a shrug. "I don't. How long, Mister Rimmer?"

"Years, Wexler, years. Years with a group of no-account layabout curry-loving lowlives" all right, so perhaps only Lister loved curry but the rest of them tolerated his ridiculous behavior "whose only ambition is to see which one of them can produce the most authentic farting noise with their hand in their armpit!"

There was a little bit of a pause.

"...did they at least meet that ambition?"

SOUL. DEEP. SIGHING.

"Every Thursday after dinner."

Turtle tried her hardest not to laugh; it manifested in a poorly hidden grin.

"I guess they felt they should keep in practice?"

He gave a rueful laugh.

"Oh no, practice comes later. Whenever that vindaloo-eating goit decided we wanted to listen to his Jimi Hendrix impression."

"...was it any good?"

"It was a reminder that we had to hide the smegging thing again."

Turtle couldn't help a chuckle. "At least you never seemed to be too bored while you were up there," she offered. "Just really annoyed."

She earned a withering look.

"Don't. Just... don't."

Turtle bit her lip, fighting against amusement to look apologetic.

"Sorry, sir."

Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13 - Period Five

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

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Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior