fandomhigh | Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13

Rimmer was waiting in the Danger Shop, back stiff and smile smug. The room was set up like the average classroom, with desks and two #2 pencils on each. A copy of the syllabus lay in the exact center of each one, printed out crisp and fresh this morning. If there was a typo (or a complete nervous breakdown) on the sheet, he hadn't noticed as he'd been busy making sure that everything was perfect for his first class.

As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.

"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."

He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.

"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:

"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."

[ocd up]

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SHIP SHAPE!

Listen to the lecture or chat amongst yourselves; careful, though, as he'll write you up if he catches you!

"My name is Second Technician Arnold J. Rimmer, B.s.c, S.s.c," he said crisply, "and I am the commanding officer of the Jupiter Mining Corporation vessel Red Dwarf. I will be your instructor for this class and as such, consider myself your superior and expect to be treated accordingly."

...go on. Ask about the H. You know you want to.

"As I said earlier, we're going to get straight to work today as we have plenty to cover and only seven short weeks in which to cover it."

He let that soak into their adolescent little minds before going on.

"One of the most important secrets to success is knowing your superior. Know his quirks, know his wants, know the things he's thinking practically before he thinks them. If you know what your superior is thinking, you're already half way to taking his place.

"As I am the superior officer in this room, your job for the rest of the class is to figure out what I'm thinking."

He stared at them for a moment before starting to slap his hands together.

"Come on, people, let's get chopping! What am I thinking?"

[...go wild, people, ask anything you like, the wackier the better]

"If anyone is interested in acting as my teaching assistant," he made sure to point out, his eyes wide at the thought of an assistant he didn't even have to pay, "I'll be here. Waiting. Patiently."

And so he was.

1. ...feel free to mock, scheme against, or argue with Rimmer. He's an idiot.

2. Oh dear god if he gets a TA *giggle*

3. ???

~~4. Profit!~~

Anyway, I'll be back in the morning and let's have fun!

T.R. Wexler

Hurley Reyes

Turtle had actually really liked the overblown little speech; she felt Mister Rimmer definitely managed to have the right enthusiasm for it. Up until all that man stuff, because, hel-loo, woman here.

Sigh.

Blair Waldorf

Blair rather liked the introduction to the class so far. She could ignore the male-centric parts. She was used to tuning out things she felt didn't apply to her.

"Blair Waldorf," Blair said. "I just finished my junior year. I'm from New York, the Upper East Side. After I graduate I will be going on to Yale."

Of course she hadn't applied yet, let alone be accepted, but those were mere details.

"T.R. Wexler," Turtle offered, "also called Turtle. I'll be a senior in the fall, and I'm the co-owner of Turtle & Canary here in town, which just went franchise, opening up branches soon in London and some desert place where they'll have a solar-powered Squishy machine. I just went associate at the newly established Cabot and Associates here in town, and I'm going to Harvard."

No, she hadn't exactly applied yet, either.

"You're thinking...." Turtle offered, "'Oh, hell, look at these kids. What the heck did I just get myself into?'"

He smiled blithely.

"Nope, no, that was a few minutes ago. What I thought is useful, but not the point of the exercise."

"Waldorf. Very good."

He didn't particularly care about the rest of it. They were here to listen to him after all.

"Wexler," he said with some appreciation for her gumption (and also a fair jot of jealousy), "it sounds as if you've already started. Very good, very good."

"...But whatever you're thinking is going to change based on what I say," Turtle pointed out, "so it'd be almost impossible to guess what you're thinking, because what you're currently thinking is mercurial and changes like that." She snapped her fingers.

"Either way," she added, "I bet now you're thinking either 'what?' or 'okay, whatever, girl.' More or less."

Edited 2009-05-13 15:11 (UTC)

Agnes Nitt

"Thank you, sir," Turtle beamed at the praise. "I like to think so, too. But it never hurts to strive to maintain and improve on success that might already have been gained."

"Success is a slipper slope," he cautioned with an extended nod.

"Striving ever upward is one's only chance."

He smiled smugly.

"You're definitely looking to be TA material at this rate, Wexler."

Turtle wanted to make a joke here about how TAship was probably a slide down that slope, but, still...

"I'd definitely be up to the occasion if you think I'd be good for the job, sir."

"Which is why," he continued for her, "you will have to think of it before I think of it to make me think of it when you guess I'm thinking of it."

He looked very pleased with himself.

"After all, a captain or other superior has many tasks to concern himself with in a day. If you can't adapt quickly, you've already proved your not officer material."

Much as he wasn't.

He put his hand to his jaw thoughtfully.

"Or you could try and break light speed and luck your way into a convenient future echo, but I wouldn't recommend it. Very distracting."

"If you're interested, see me after class."

And he gave her a sharp nod before moving on.

Agnes mimicked Rimmer's crisp tone. "Agnes Nitt, witch."

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Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13 - Period Five

Sign In - Class 1

Listen to the Lecture / Chat

Introductions

Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Rimmer

OOC

Re: Sign In - Class 1

Re: Sign In - Class 1

Re: Listen to the Lecture / Chat

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Re: Listen to the Lecture / Chat

Re: Introductions

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Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Introductions

Re: Introductions

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Sign In - Class 1

Re: Introductions

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Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

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