fandomhigh | Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13

Rimmer was waiting in the Danger Shop, back stiff and smile smug. The room was set up like the average classroom, with desks and two #2 pencils on each. A copy of the syllabus lay in the exact center of each one, printed out crisp and fresh this morning. If there was a typo (or a complete nervous breakdown) on the sheet, he hadn't noticed as he'd been busy making sure that everything was perfect for his first class.

As soon as he saw his students, he knew that wasn't going to happen. Regardless, he was determined to soldier on, to shape these miscreants into proper Space Corps recruits even if they weren't in the Space Corps.

"Welcome," he said with overblown magnanimity, marching across the room in front of the students, "to Seven Secrets of Success. All of you are here because you want to succeed. You're not willing to settle for... for what life hands you, no" and he turned sharply on his heel to stare at them, "you're looking for more. Up up up the ziggurat, as I always say. You're looking to make the world look up to you. You're looking to make people say 'there's the kind of man I want running my ship; there's a son that I can be proud of; there's a man I'd sleep with sans head injury!'."

He realized he might have gone just a bit far afield and thus took the opportunity to spin again and continue towards the other side of the room.

"So! We will be doing introductions, obviously, but to show you just how accomplished your instructor is, you'll be getting not one secret, but two:

"Getting Straight To Work, one of the most important things to remember if you'd like to succeed. And the other, well," he smirked with hidden knowledge, "you'll just have to see when we get there."

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"No, actually," Turtle admitted with a shrug. "I don't. How long, Mister Rimmer?"

"Years, Wexler, years. Years with a group of no-account layabout curry-loving lowlives" all right, so perhaps only Lister loved curry but the rest of them tolerated his ridiculous behavior "whose only ambition is to see which one of them can produce the most authentic farting noise with their hand in their armpit!"

There was a little bit of a pause.

"...did they at least meet that ambition?"

SOUL. DEEP. SIGHING.

"Every Thursday after dinner."

Turtle tried her hardest not to laugh; it manifested in a poorly hidden grin.

"I guess they felt they should keep in practice?"

He gave a rueful laugh.

"Oh no, practice comes later. Whenever that vindaloo-eating goit decided we wanted to listen to his Jimi Hendrix impression."

"...was it any good?"

"It was a reminder that we had to hide the smegging thing again."

Turtle couldn't help a chuckle. "At least you never seemed to be too bored while you were up there," she offered. "Just really annoyed."

She earned a withering look.

"Don't. Just... don't."

Turtle bit her lip, fighting against amusement to look apologetic.

"Sorry, sir."

Seven Secrets to Success - Wednesday, 5/13 - Period Five

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior

Re: Getting Straight to Work / Knowing Your Superior