fandomhigh | Library [04/08]

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Library [04/08]

When Sam got to the library, the first thing he did was check all around the desk for gremlins. Just because he had to be nice to them on the radio didn't mean he had to let himself get bitten, and it wasn't until he saw that he was safe that he sat down and got to work.

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"Hey, Merlin," Tony smiled. "Where do we start?"

Putting the book down next to Tony, Merlin gave him a blank look. "I rather hoped you'd have an idea."

"I think the last time I was in here, I took home a couple of books which turned into kittens," Tony said. "You're the one who didn't get his ass kicked by zombies this weekend. I'm looking to you for guidance." Thanks to Ronan's healing abilities, Tony was moving much better today.

Merlin laughed, shaking his head. "I've been told I'm a bit... odd compared to other sorcerers back home."

Mostly in that he wasn't trying to kill Arthur or Uther.

"I'm the only sorcerer back home," Tony said. "How did you deal with the zombies?"

"I--err--believe I threw a girl into the preserve and set the others on fire."

Tony still couldn't get the pushing thing Merlin did. "Fire'd be good," he said. He found a seat at a table and took out his laptop. "Do you know how you did it?"

"I--" Was really really angry. "There's a word in here for it. It looks like a basic spell."

Like he knew basic from complex.

The Wokling dubbed "Fluffy" by Marco was playing in a paper bag under the table. "Yub yub!" she exclaimed. Tony ignored it.

"One word? That sounds pretty simple," Tony said.

[The Wokling was here the whole time, really.]

"One word, yes..." Merlin peered under the table. "What was that?"

"Fluffy," Tony sighed. He checked under the table to make sure the creature was still healthy and safe. "Marco and me have to take care of him this week for Ethics class."

"What is it?" A bear?

"A Wokling," Tony said. "Some kind of alien baby. It's supposed to teach us the consequences of lust." Which so didn't apply to him, but he wasn't going to challenge Professor Skywalker on the issue.

There was part of that sentence that made no sense at all. "How would a--Wokling teach that? Do they do something when you start to feel... you know?"

"... I don't think so," Tony said, eyeing the Wokling. Did it have some kind of lust-detecting powers? He was just not going to go there. "I think it's supposed to teach us responsibility. You know, sex leads to babies - for some - babies are a pain to take care of, so this is supposed to stop us having sex."

"Isn't that normally the point of sex?" Merlin asked. "Unless you use the proper herbs."

"In my experience, the point of sex is usually getting off," Tony said.

"...that as well." Completely a virgin here.

Tony never would have guessed. "These days, there's a lot of options besides herbs," he said. "Most people don't have sex in order to have kids. Though it can still happen by accident with straight people."

"There are?" It certainly made Merlin curious. For... medical reasons. Truly.

"Yeah, there's the Pill," Tony said. "And condoms, which help prevent diseases, too." He dug his wallet out of his pocket and handed Merlin the (kiwi-flavored) condom he had tucked into it. "I have more, so if you need some, let me know. I think there's other things girls can do to prevent babies, too, but you'd have to ask someone else about those."

"...alright." Merlin took the condom and vaguely wondered if he was supposed to swallow it. And what a kiwi was.

"It goes over - you know," Tony said, making an extremely vague hand gesture that could've been him swatting a fly. Dude, he wasn't going to do a demo in the middle of the library! Besides, he didn't remember what it was like to not know about condoms, so it didn't occur to him that Merlin might need more info.

"Over?" Merlin's eyes went terribly wide. "Oh. Oh. ...really?"

"Really," Tony said. Merlin probably needed more info, huh? "Sometimes people practice. With bananas," he clarified. "Um. The clinic probably has flyers? Or I could show you sometime." He added quickly, "On a banana."

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