fandomhigh | Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

"I hope everyone had a good time with their flour babies," said Steve. "First, everyone will please turn them in and tell the class a little about your week and what you did with your 'child.' I hope it was good practice for the weekend after the prom, although most of those will be much more demanding."

Once that part of the class was over, Steve said, "Moving right along, let's talk about things you can do with your partner instead of having sex.

"Now, I'm not going to tell you to wait until marriage, because that would be hypocritical." Steve turned red. "And I'm sure that's far more information than you ever wanted to know, and apologize. But really, if you're not in a one hundred percent committed relationship with someone, there are a lot of things you should be doing before sex, because you should really only ever have sexual relations with someone you're in a one hundred percent committed relationship with. There are a lot of things you can do to express your feelings for another person besides sex, and they'll help you get to know each other so that you can move forward toward...that point." Steve turned red again. "You can talk. You can cuddle. You can go for a walk, or work out together, or cook a meal for or with someone. All sorts of things. Just don't ever watch someone sleep, especially without their permission or knowledge. It may sound romantic, but it's actually pretty creepy. Think how you'd feel if you woke up to someone randomly staring at you." He gave them a moment to consider that. "So, for the rest of the class, let's brainstorm ideas for things you can do with your significant other that don't involve sexual activity."

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"Oh, come on. I've already got the reservations at the Bellagio."

"Well," Steve said, "I suppose someone has to be there who's able to bail you out of jail."

Like Steve wouldn't be right there with him if it got to that point.

"You're a man after my own heart."

It depended, really. "So, when do we leave?"

"Friday work for you?"

Steve shrugged. "Sure. I have office hours Thursday, but after that I'm free, so, Friday's fine."

"Excellent! You'll have fun. Trust me."

Somewhere... Pepper was already getting ready to deal with the tabloids.

Steve made a mental note to pack aspirin for the headaches in his future. "Of course I trust you."

"Great!" Tony's eyes lit up and he turned to look out at the classroom. "Someone needs to get you to relax."

"I relax," Steve said defensively. "I run."

Tony just raised an eyebrow at that. Because that didn't count unless you were a W.A.S.P. in desperate need of sex.

Which was pretty much exactly what Steve was, although he was Irish, not Anglo-Saxon. So his attempt to stare Tony down probably wasn't working too well.

In the slightest, but Tony was a kind man so he looked away first. "I'm sure there will be a pretty little corn fed girl for you there."

"I don't--I--that's--no."

"I'm sure there are plenty of girls from middle America for you to take your pick of."

Tony, you see, was a cruel man.

"What does middle America have to do with it?" Steve asked, with the total confusion only a lifelong New Yorker could really muster.

"That would seem like the kind of girl you'd like. Salt of the earth and all those cliches about farm wives."

"I'm from Manhattan."

Tony just gave him a look. "Are you? See, if you don't share these things, I don't know."

"I could have sworn I told you I was from the Lower East Side. Did you think I meant of Des Moines?"

"Well, it was either that your some sort of fabled polite New Yorker," Tony replied dryly.

"I'm from a simpler time?"

Like Tony believed that for a moment. "Was there such a thing in New York?"

Steve shrugged. "Well, we didn't have cell phones."

"Somehow I doubt that's what makes New York how it is," Tony replied. "I lived on the west coast for a reason."

Which had nothing to do with rudeness, but that wasn't important.

Sex Ed, Monday [2-9] Third Period

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