fandomhigh | Ethics [Tuesday, February 3, 2nd period]

When the Ethics class arrived in the Danger Shop, they stepped into an entirely different world.

An incredibly dry, hot one. That smelled really bad.

Anakin waved his hand around the room. "Welcome to the embodiment of gluttony," he said, "the palace of a Hutt."

He concentrated on the controls on the far side of the room, and the simulation sprung to life: dozens of beings drinking, eating, and dancing, with all activity centered around a vile slug of a beast laying on the raised dais at the front of the room.

In a place of honor on the wall was a man, face twisted in a silent scream but his features obscured beyond recognition, encased in silver. Anakin ignored it as he walked past to point at the creature on the dais. "That," he said, nose wrinkling in disgust, "is a Hutt. This particular version was named Jabba, one of the most powerful crime lords in the galaxy." A grim smile turned the corners of his mouth up. "At least until he met my children."

He shook his head. "That is neither here nor there. Today is an interactive experience for you, class. Take a good hard look around. See the effects that gluttony can have."

His eyes went flat. "Touch any of the dancing girls and you'll regret it. That's a promise."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"I start with an organic shampoo," Anakin said, "and then a conditioner, a shine booster and a hair and scalp masque once a week."

He'd meant to say "I wash it."

"Now, do you mix brands or use a complete system?" Toby asked, taking furious notes.

"I've found that a complete system leads to a lot of build up a lot faster," Anakin counseled wisely. "So I switch products every few months. I have more shampoos than Rory."

Toby nodded, having a similar rotation in place. "And Rory is your wife. How does she cope with you being so attractive?"

"Oh, she's much better looking than I am," Anakin said easily. "She's heart-stoppingly gorgeous. Frankly, I'm not sure what she sees in me."

"So she copes by being hotter, good call," Toby said, considering calling her for confirmation. "Now, what sort of lotion do you use?"

"...when?" Anakin asked carefully.

Toby checked his notes. "After a shower and during sex." He didn't think he'd meant to say that last part. Huh.

Anakin didn't flail. It was undignified.

...it just looked a lot like flailing. "After a shower, I use something that doesn't have a scent because sometimes I accidentally use Rory's soap and end up smelling like a cookie."

Trying to keep his mouth closed. Trying soooo hard. "And we've never really needed to slick anything up artificially oh kriffing hells what I am saying?"

"Interesting," Toby jotted that down, "Slick. Anything. Up. Okay! So how was your last sexual encounter? I heard your wife's pregnant, right? Does that make things awkward?"

"No, it makes things much hotter," Anakin said, looking horrified at himself. "Pregnancy hormones are really fun and we've gotten a lot more experimental in the last few months and I'm going to have to kill myself."

"Don't do that, Professor! I'd miss you terribly," Toby told him. "So sex is hotter. That sounds like something to live for. So like, before you were married, did you ever experiment with boys?"

"It wasn't experimental," Anakin said. "It was totally deliberate."

Oh, Anakin.

"Dude, for real?" Toby's pen paused in amazement. "Like, did you have a boyfriend?"

"No," Anakin said. "Jedi are forbidden from attachment and Obi-Wan was a very good Jedi. He was my best friend who occasionally turned into more than that."

"Hot!" Toby enthused. "Best friends make the greatest sometimes more than friends. One of these days I'll sleep with Lee."

That was a little off topic. "So was this all when you were all young and stuff? Not that you're old now...just older and um, mature."

"Oh, this was back during the Clone Wars," Anakin said, "when we were still talking to each other and Obi-Wan wasn't dead."

"Man, that sucks," Toby said, shaking his head. "You must miss him something terrible."

"Every day," Anakin said, looking more than a little horrified that he'd said that aloud. It didn't get better when his mouth insisted on adding, "I loved him more than I loved just about anyone ever."

Toby could tear up with talk like that, but he was a reporter today and he could like, hold back or something.

Maybe. "Oh wow," Toby sniffed. "Do you need a hug?"

Anakin certainly didn't need a hug.

"Yes."

Oh, how he hated today.

Toby stepped forward, arms open to embrace his favorite teacher. "It's okay, dude, I'm here for you!"

Anakin gave Toby a hug. This was beyond awkward.

"Thank you?" he tried.

"You're welcome," Toby said, probably enjoying the hug more than he should have. "And thanks for the interview. This is gonna be so great."

"It's not going to be printed anywhere people will read it, right?"

Oh, please, oh please...

Re: Talk to Anakin [2/3]

always-damp.livejournal.com - 2009-02-03 22:31 (UTC) - Expand

sith_happened - 2009-02-03 22:34 (UTC) - Expand