fandomhigh | Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period

Today there was a wide assortment of delicious ~~and moddable~~ fruit and alcohol in the dangershoppe kitchen. How and why Deadpool had managed to grab hold of a durian fruit, was best left unasked.

He also was in possession of a lemming. In a plastic hamster ball.

(Stupid Nate.)

"Gooood morning kiddos. As you may have noticed, there is alcohol around so this means you all need to be on your best behavior and not start drinking right now. And now just because it's before noon and that would be considered either alcoholism or camping. And I don't see and tents nearby so..."

Some time during this lecture on alcoholism, the plastic ball glowed faintly blue in a way that implied telekinesis was being used on it. It was lifted up into the air and onto Deadpool's desk behind him.

"...Don't drink kids and cook kids. It'll only end in horrible accidents that will scar you for life."

Once on the desk, the lemming steadfastly rolled for the edge. Run little lemming, run!

There was a cracking noise as the plastic ball, and lemming, hit the ground and Deadpool's attention turned away from teaching about booze. "Stop trying to do that! I'm not letting you out of the ball, you'll only give into your natural urge to hurl yourself off of things."

A beat.

"AGAIN. Okay class, how about this? If you can make delicious things with fire and alcohol and keep an eye on him so he doesn't escape, you all get an A for the day."

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"He'll come to me if he knows what's best for him," Chuck said. There was no way he was going to step one foot into John's inner sanctum. He looked down at the bottle of booze. "This isn't a half-bad brand. Shame we have to waste it."

"Well there's no reason for that," Jamie replied carefully to make sure Deadpool wasn't listening. "As the fruits are hollow. I mean there's no reason why we can't eat the fruit... that just happened to be filled."

"That's not a bad idea, Madrox," Chuck said, looking impressed. He looked over at Deadpool. "He seems more interested in the suicidal lemming anyways."

"That's because he's probably in love with it," Jamie replied as he filled up the peach with the bottle and popped the piece of peach back in to cover up the hollow and started to do the same thing with the next peach. "Or at least still having UST with it."

"Is that lemming usually a guy?" Chuck asked. "No wonder he's trying to kill himself."

"Usually. I think," Jamie said with a shrug. "If it's who I think it is, it's our new mayor and he's one of those self-sacrificing warrior types."

"Our mayor is rolling around in a hamster ball," Chuck said with a nod. "Right. Well. I suppose we could have a worse leader."

"Personally I like him in this form better," Jamie said offering the peach to Chuck and grabbing one for himself. "He looks cuddly. I think that's an often overlooked quality in a leader."

"It would certainly help us be more convincing when it comes to dealing with foreign policy. Who doesn't like cuddly things?" Chuck asked with a smirk. He took a bite of the peach and drank about half of the liquor inside. "This was a great idea."

"Plus it's fruit flavored," Jamie said sipping his carefully and pushing the bottle closer to Chuck in case he wanted a refill. "Can't go wrong with that. Though we still need to set something on fire."

"What about the bananas?" Chuck said, helping himself to the re-fill. "You can't stick booze in there."

"Huh."

Jamie took a banana and placed it in a glass. He poured booze into the glass and tossed in a match.

"Banana flambe?

"Pour some chocolate on there and you've got a good dessert," he said. "I'd say we have an A for the day."

"Should we share the booze with the lemming/mayor?"

"He does look like he could use it," Chuck said, feeling charitable. "Nobody was nice enough to give me booze when I turned into a kitten."

"What did they give you?" Jamie said refilling his peach. "When I was dog they kept trying to give me kibble. Which tastes like ass."

He shivered at the memory.

"My friend Blair was watching me so I ate whatever she ate," Chuck said. "Unfortunately that meant yogurt and whatever salad she had that day."

Survive Your Own Cooking - 3rd period - (10/22)

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