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fandomhigh2008-06-11 11:05 pm
suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-06-11 11:05 pm
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The History of Sex: Workshop 5, Period 3 (Thursday, June 12)
When students entered the classroom, they would be faced with not only their teachers, but a projector as well.
"In our extensive research for this class, Ms. Bell and I came upon these images of actual alien races, potentially known to some of you." Seriously, Barney did research.
Yes! Freaky, weird alien-type things! Now, class, this was going to be an important sort of discussion, here, where they talked about the many advantages and disadvantages that the alien creatures would have, reproductively.
By which Tink totally meant that she wanted to play Hot or Not with a lot of alien pictures. Come on, children, it would be fun!
Barney dramatically clicked the remote on the projector. "Let's start with the elf. Sure, you ladies might think this one pretty. But guess what? He's prettier than even you!"
So pretty! So very serious and thinking about important things! So very, very gay! Seriously, Tink knew girls who could beat him up, and she meant femme girls at that.
Or how about this? Here was a creature not much bigger than Tink herself. She was pretty -- though not nearly as pretty as Tink, of course -- and she was the only female known of her race.
"Mmm, there's something about that blonde hair...and something else about how she's the town bicycle to hundreds of tiny blue dudes. Better triple bag it before going there," Barney could only hope they all understood that sentiment. "Now, it's your turn. Take a picture and give us at least one pro and one con to sleeping with the creature."
Make them interesting, children. Tink and Barney didn't give out assignments so that anyone would learn things. They wanted to be amused. So be amusing! Think of creative entries so that Tink and Barney did not fall asleep while reading their papers! Anyone who induced sleep was going to get an F-minus-minus-minus. She meant it, too.
"Translation: A is for Awesome, F is for Failure." Barney was such a good teacher.
[ooc:liiiiiiinks to the max!]
The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
Centauri (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/centauri.jpg) (these are the bendy-chest-penis creatures from last week. Centauri is fully dressed and this pic is worksafe, honest.)
Dwarf (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/dwarf.jpg)
Elf (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/elf.jpg)
Ferengi (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/ferengi.jpg)
Half-Giant (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/halfgiant.jpg)
Halfling (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/halfling.jpg)
Smurf (female) (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/smurfette.jpg)
Vulcan (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/vulcan.jpg)
Wookiee (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v328/Rellyjean/Tink/class/hotornot/wookiee.jpg)
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
It's very physically attractive, she observed. Always a plus. Unfortunately, I'm not actually sure if it's a boy or a girl, which could be a con for some. I'm okay with that. I'm flexible. A greater con would be that it doesn't look like it has a sex drive. Uninterested beings are really hard to get it on with. And all that hair could get in your mouth, which is gross.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
Perfect for all them freaks who ever had fantasies involving the family dog.
...
Freaks.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
I Believe The Vulcan Would Approach The Matter With The Seriousness -- And Decorum -- It Deserves.
It was the best she could do, given that golems...didn't.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
...I think I used to date a guy like that.>
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
She tried, seriously, but the best she could get was
Pro: The elf guy is really, really smoking hot. And I like blonds. Con: There's no way he would ever buy me dinner, let alone sleep with me.Borrrrrring.
So she gave amusing her best shot: Pro: The Smurf (female) has pretty shoes. And I like blonds. Con: I would squish her! Plus I don't like girls that way.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
If the elf dude is who I think he is -- FREAK. Nough said.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
Totally good if you're into bear culture. But woah bad for getting pubs stuck in your teeth.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
Eventually she went with the Elf.
He's pretty, she wrote, but he's so pretty you can't even tell really if he's actually a he which might lead to some really embarrassing moments if you're wrong. But, assuming that you're not, and he is a he then you've still got a few issues. (Not, mind, that there's anything wrong if he's not a he, but I prefer guys so...)
Do you really want a guy who'll spend more time in the bathroom getting ready than you will? Because, seriously? He so does. That's a total con right there. Ugh.
Re: The List of Pros and Cons [6/12]
PROS: Very hot. And not prettier than me, thanks.
CONS: Possibly gay. Might need a lot of alcohol all the way around.