fandomhigh | Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One

"Good morning, kids!"

Not only was Jim in a good mood, Jim was also decked out in a TROUT! cap, a t-shirt that read I ♥ TROUT, and he was wheeling a monitor with a webcam on top into the room. "Today, we're going to be talking about wisdom, so perk up your eager little ears and pay attention!"

He turned towards the class, and beamed broadly. "Now, I know, we all know how to shoot our blasters and dodge cows and the general circumference of the universe, but sometimes, you just can't make it on your own. Sometimes, your problems are so horrible, so despicable, so outrageously, mind-bogglingly, staggeringly UNGOOD that you must take a leap of faith and ride your quest down to a figure of ultimate unending smarts!"

He winked at the class. "You should take this from me, kids, I have four hyper-intelligent brains!" Most of which were currently contemplating pie. "Now I realise you must all be thinking, 'Yes, mister Jim, but who would be such a bounty of infinite wisdom?'. That's an interesting question, class, and it's very easy to answer."

He had to slam the 'on' button on the television a couple of times before the image kicked in.

The giant furry fish on the other side was a little busy reading. It took him a few moments to-- "Oh, hello, kids. I didn't see you there."

"The GIANT, fur-bearing TROUT!" Jim said, his voice reaching pitches of such enthusiasm that it would probably break meters. "Share with us your wisdom, oh furry bearer of cosmic knowledge! SHARE IT!"

The trout digested this request. "Alright," he drawled, "Just let me flip my soyburgers..."

Jim's fingers were positively wriggling with delight.

"Ask good questions, students! Those who flow with the waters of the trout shall perservere!"

"Jim? I trademarked that."

"Oh, sorry."

[ ~~wait for the~~ ocd up! ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He's wise. Ask him questions.

Lee tried to think of a good question to ask the trout.

The only thing he could think of was, "Should we shoot first and ask questions later or ask questions first and then shoot?"

The trout looked thoughtful for about twenty seconds. "Well," he drawled, "Seems t' me that asking questions of the dead is something of an exercise in pointlessness. Once they've gone to the lathe of heaven, there tends to not be much talk in a man. Or is that the Belt Sander of the Great Elysian? It's so hard to keep track."

"Right. So...I should just shoot first?" Lee asked, trying to get it all straight in his head. "To stop stupid questions?"

Re: Speak To The Trout

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:06 (UTC) - Expand

stupid-toasters.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:15 (UTC) - Expand

"Do you find it difficult to be friends with a worm?" Peter asked.

"Not in the slightest," the trout replied, "He's a good hand and I done switched to vegetarian."

"Did the other trout give you any problems with that?" Peter asked.

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:38 (UTC) - Expand

repeterpetrelli.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:39 (UTC) - Expand

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:41 (UTC) - Expand

repeterpetrelli.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:43 (UTC) - Expand

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:46 (UTC) - Expand

repeterpetrelli.livejournal.com - 2008-06-03 13:53 (UTC) - Expand

...

...

"Are boys all so stupid?" What? It was a good question, she thought.

There was a faint rumble as the trout considered the question.

Then he hummed with a truly glorious halo as he spoke, gravely, "Yes and no."

At which point he fell into a grave silence.

She put her hands on her hips. "That's not an answer at all!"

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 05:32 (UTC) - Expand

Sokka HAD to ask the obvious question. "So, why are trout good if goldfish are bad?"

"The goldfish have a long and terrifying history of bringin' doom and conquest upon the universe," the trout boomed, "The trout shall aide no evil."

"Pretty sweet, pretty sweet," Sokka replied. "What about... Where can I get a blaster like Professor Jim's?"

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 05:34 (UTC) - Expand

sarcasm-guy.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 13:09 (UTC) - Expand

Marco blinked. "Have you ever tried to take over a planet?"

"Never shall the trout indulge himself in the matters of evil delights," the trout helpfully provided.

"Will there be salmon Biscuits after the lecture?" Bob asked. His stomach growled afterwards.

The trout squinted a little. "You should consider going vegetarian," his voice boomed, "Get some soy burgers."

"What is the meaning of justice?" Alex asked the trout.

"Justice," the trout spoke, and he shone with some internal light, "Is the infinitely powerful force of goodness that doth smite down the cruel machinations of malicious intent upon the hotplate of the heavens."

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Yes, Turtle thought she was being hilarious. She felt she was doing her dad proud with that one.

"Sixty-eight," the trout said, without any hesitation.

Turtle blinked.

"What would happen if he went for sixty-nine?"

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 16:04 (UTC) - Expand

stocksgrrl.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 16:11 (UTC) - Expand

notjustaworm.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 16:17 (UTC) - Expand

stocksgrrl.livejournal.com - 2008-06-04 16:36 (UTC) - Expand

"How is it that you're a fur-bearing trout, if you'll pardon my asking?"

It seemed relevant.

"That," the trout said, solemnly, "Is a question only the Great Worm Spirit that Lights the Cosmos could answer."

"Will we be meeting him in this class?" Alice asked. The Great Worm Spirit might be an interesting visitor.