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fandomhigh2008-05-20 02:49 pm
notjustaworm.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomhigh2008-05-20 02:49 pm
Entry tags:
Intergalactic Justice, Tuesday Period One
"Gooood morning, children," Jim greeted the class, in classic upbeat fashion. "Today? Cows!"
He had a preoccupation, yes. As did the farmland area that the Danger Shop had adopted as its form du jour, featuring a herd of cows that was truly stellar in size.
"...And plans. Planning is a very important part of exacting justice across the universe," he said, holding up a finger, "Because you don't want to end up caught stuck between the Dangerous Zone of Great Danger and a black hole without some kind of 'plan'." He made the airquotes accordingly. "Make sure you have a lot of these 'plans', because things never really go the way you want them to go. And remember always, always-- have a plan B."
He took out his (still simulated) blaster. "EAT! DIRT!"
One of the cows got pulverized in the ensuing onslaught. He spun the blaster, blew the complete lack of smoke from the barrel, and shoved it back. "Buuuuut there's always the hope it won't get to that." He didn't sound too hopeful about it, really. "For today's assignment, you have to plan. And work as a team. My suggestion is you find someone who compliments your strengths, weaknesses, and makes a mean omelette just in case you and your little buddy get a little hungry travelling through the universe."
He brushed away a tear. "I MISS PETER."
And composed himself. "--Anyway, we're under attack, so pick a cow or two, herd them down over towards that catapult over there, and launch them. Trust me, you'll find it's great thinking ahead later!"
It wouldn't be.
[ ocd up! ]
He had a preoccupation, yes. As did the farmland area that the Danger Shop had adopted as its form du jour, featuring a herd of cows that was truly stellar in size.
"...And plans. Planning is a very important part of exacting justice across the universe," he said, holding up a finger, "Because you don't want to end up caught stuck between the Dangerous Zone of Great Danger and a black hole without some kind of 'plan'." He made the airquotes accordingly. "Make sure you have a lot of these 'plans', because things never really go the way you want them to go. And remember always, always-- have a plan B."
He took out his (still simulated) blaster. "EAT! DIRT!"
One of the cows got pulverized in the ensuing onslaught. He spun the blaster, blew the complete lack of smoke from the barrel, and shoved it back. "Buuuuut there's always the hope it won't get to that." He didn't sound too hopeful about it, really. "For today's assignment, you have to plan. And work as a team. My suggestion is you find someone who compliments your strengths, weaknesses, and makes a mean omelette just in case you and your little buddy get a little hungry travelling through the universe."
He brushed away a tear. "I MISS PETER."
And composed himself. "--Anyway, we're under attack, so pick a cow or two, herd them down over towards that catapult over there, and launch them. Trust me, you'll find it's great thinking ahead later!"
It wouldn't be.
[ ocd up! ]
Re: Herd Cows!
Re: Herd Cows!
Re: Herd Cows!
Re: Herd Cows!
"...That is seriously the awesomest idea ever. You SERIOUSLY rock. ...The safety protocols can handle it, right? But come on, let's do some cows, first."
Re: Herd Cows!
"You know what?" Turtle said. "How about this? You do it, and then the cows will see how awesome it was and it'll just be that much easier to get them on the catapult. Forget all this poking and prodding and herding when we can merely lead by example."
Re: Herd Cows!
With a sudden flash of insight, he plucked some tasty-looking grass and used it to start luring a cow toward the catapult.
Re: Herd Cows!
"Go get 'em, cows," she said, lifting her hand and delivering a firm slap on what she figured was probably the rump roast part of a cow. Then she sucked in a breath and shook out her hand as the cow jolted forward, because that hurt a lot more than she had anticipated. "Next one not moving gets a kick!" she warned them. Even if they couldn't understand her, it made her feet better.
"Ow..." Her hand was still hurting, though.