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Intergalactic Justice: A Crash Course, Tuesday First Period

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students would find a severely disinterested-looking worm sulking somewhere in the corner.

"Oh, hellooo, students," Jim said, when they'd all managed to make their way in and he could manage some scrap of enthusiasm. Some. "I'm supposed to be teaching you. You want a lesson? Community service SUCKS. I mean, what's their problem?! You don't surgically implant fish heads in the middle of an invasion from La Planeta de la Agua (arriba!) or you're going to end up shot, it's not rocket science or anything."

He took a moment to consider it. "And in terms of fashion it's reeeeally gauche." Ew. Fishheads. "Unless you're a Giant Furbearing Trout. Oh!" He leapt up to his feet, "Teaching. Riiiight. So going by the radio I figure you'll all be wanting to tell me stuff about yourselves. Be a little quick about it or I'll miss the first few minutes of my show and then I'll be really CHEESED OFF."

He took a breath to compose himself. "If you look at the table in front of you, you'll find a couple of blasters. If we're going to be dealing with Intergalactic Justice, you're going to want to figure out how those work. They come in really handy, kind of like this--"

A target in the shape of a cow popped up out of nowhere.

"EAT DIRT, YOU BOVINE INSULT TO ALL THINGS NATURAL!" Bursting into a round of malicious laughter, he reduced the target to a smoking crisp in a flurry of blasts.

Then he put the blaster back. "Alright, now it's your turn, kids."

More cow targets popped up. Jim just threw himself back in his chair and tried to look bored.

[ OCD up! ]

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"Oh. That would explain why you look older." Alex grinned. "Okay, then somebody screwed up, but I don't think it was us. So...I don't know, just don't tell me what I've been up to for the last--how old are you, anyway? Seventeen? Eighteen--don't tell me what I've been up to for the last three or four years and we'll be fine, right? I mean," he corrected himself, "if you even know what I've been up to."

Jen was pretty glad she didn't have to explain that bit of weirdness to him -- and she definitely wasn't dropping the 'by the way, you died and came back to life all jerky' bomb either.

"I have the right to remain silent," she tried to joke instead, and wondered if he'd get the archaic law reference.

There wasn't much point in trying to enforce Miranda rights with the mutants in their time, anyway; you couldn't get them to shut up.

Alex actually did. "Hey, that's right, they still had that in this time period. But I think it was kind of on the way out, so..." he grinned. "Better watch out?"

Oh, how tempting it was to say "No, you watch out for a mutant with the quite frankly disgusting ability to pull bone-handled swords out of his skeleton."

"I'm not surprised that you would know that," Jen said instead, while trying not to look in Wes's direction. Awk. Ward.

"Oh, hey, did you meet my random twin yet?" Alex asked, gesturing toward Wes. "Because apparently I have one now. It seems that happens here. But I have better hair."

Speaking of awkward. There was no way Jen could explain that she knew Wes because Alex had died.

"Uh, no?" she said, and hastily tugged her sleeve down over her Chronomorpher. "So you have a twin too, huh? That happens around here."

"That's what I just said," Alex told her. And people thought he was slow. "It's kind of weird, though, some guy who has nothing to do with me but has my face? What's up with that?"

Jen had her suspicions about that, but she didn't know for sure. "I don't know," she stammered. "It's happened a few times around here, though, or so I've heard."

"Yeah, nobody seemed to think it was that big of a deal, they were just like, 'Oh hey, there's this guy who looks just like you.' I thought they were just messing with the new guy," Alex admitted, "but...guess not!"

"Well, at least they'll be able to tell you two apart by your hair," Jen offered shakily. What was up with the hair, anyway? She never did figure that out. It wasn't like it had ever occurred to her to ask Alex if he dyed it. "And that's not the weirdest thing about this place, either."

"My hair is better," Alex said defensively. Then he realized, hey, Jen's been here five months, she would totally know. "Yeah, do they really let mutants go to school here?"

Yeah, Jen was keeping her opinion on the hair to herself. She nodded. "They do. But they're not the kind from our world. I know it's hard to deal with, but they're not bad guys. I don't think."

"Okay," Alex said. "Okay. That makes sense. Because Chris and Isabel were like, 'We have mutants!' and I wasn't seeing any mutants around. And they didn't seem to think this was something to worry about."

"Oh, God," Jen said, "you freaked out on them about it, didn't you? I did that to Isabel when I got here, too."

"Little bit," Alex admitted. "I think I made her kind of mad."

"Oh, Alex." Jen managed a smile; she wasn't at all surprised that he'd reacted that way. "I think she'll get over it."

"I hope so. I don't want everyone mad at me right off the bat. I'm supposed to be trying to be less...weird, here, you know," he said with a shrug.

"It'll be okay." She hoped. She also felt a headache coming on. "Everybody's a little weird here, sort of. The whole island's weird."

"I'm starting to get that," Alex said. "But hey! You're here. Which is...kind of breaking time maybe, but cool. Right?"

Jen rubbed at the bridge of her nose. Yep, headache. "Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. I haven't seen you in a while." And you were kind of a jerk last time. Except not so much now, and hello confusion. "I'm not so sure where this place fits into the timestream, though. I heard something --" from older-you -- "about how they couldn't get really accurate readings on it."

Alex nodded. "That makes sense. Captain Logan said some things before I left about this place being kind of unique. Are you all right?"

"Just a little too much sugar, I think," Jen replied, and there was that bit of panic again about how Time Force knew about this place. "I'll be okay."

It was going to take some getting used to him being nice again.

"Yeah," Alex said in a slightly lecturing tone, "you should stay away from that stuff. It's not good for you."

"But it's good," Jen wheedled. "Haven't you even tried a cookie yet?"

Alex shrugged. "It was all right, I guess. Not worth eating something with no redeeming nutritional value, though."

Intergalactic Justice: A Crash Course, Tuesday First Period

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