Intergalactic Justice: A Crash Course, Tuesday First Period

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Upon entering the Danger Shop, the students would find a severely disinterested-looking worm sulking somewhere in the corner.

"Oh, hellooo, students," Jim said, when they'd all managed to make their way in and he could manage some scrap of enthusiasm. Some. "I'm supposed to be teaching you. You want a lesson? Community service SUCKS. I mean, what's their problem?! You don't surgically implant fish heads in the middle of an invasion from La Planeta de la Agua (arriba!) or you're going to end up shot, it's not rocket science or anything."

He took a moment to consider it. "And in terms of fashion it's reeeeally gauche." Ew. Fishheads. "Unless you're a Giant Furbearing Trout. Oh!" He leapt up to his feet, "Teaching. Riiiight. So going by the radio I figure you'll all be wanting to tell me stuff about yourselves. Be a little quick about it or I'll miss the first few minutes of my show and then I'll be really CHEESED OFF."

He took a breath to compose himself. "If you look at the table in front of you, you'll find a couple of blasters. If we're going to be dealing with Intergalactic Justice, you're going to want to figure out how those work. They come in really handy, kind of like this--"

A target in the shape of a cow popped up out of nowhere.

"EAT DIRT, YOU BOVINE INSULT TO ALL THINGS NATURAL!" Bursting into a round of malicious laughter, he reduced the target to a smoking crisp in a flurry of blasts.

Then he put the blaster back. "Alright, now it's your turn, kids."

More cow targets popped up. Jim just threw himself back in his chair and tried to look bored.

[ OCD up! ]

Comments

Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

He's rubbing the simulated blaster to his face. It's best not to ask, probably.

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

One massive clay hand plucked the blaster away with permission and held it out of reach. "That Is Dangerous. You Could Harm Yourself. I Am Not Permitted To Allow You To Come To Harm."

Re: Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Hey!" Jim sat up, suddenly blasterless, "I just got that back! Sorta." Stupid simulation. "I'm the teacher here!"

Sure, now he was.

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

"The Words Take Precedence Over A Teacher's Authority. I Will Return It If You Will Give Your Word Not To Use It In A Fashion Likely To Cause You Harm." She paused. "This Would Include Not Putting It Near Your Head."

Re: Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"I think I'm perfectly capable of making decisions as to what goes near my head," Jim said, stubbornly, crossing his arms. "Now give it back."

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

Gladys didn't say anything, simply looked at him.

A golem had infinite patience.

Re: Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

Earthworms tended not to.

"Oh, come on! Please? Pretty please? I'll never try to eat any of your bretheren again!" He was pretty sure they were used to hold down ships, anyway.

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

"Golems Are Not Edible And We Do Not Have Brethren. I Will Give It Back If You Will Not Put It Near Your Head."

Re: Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

"Fine!" The arm-crossing grew heavy in nature. "I won't put it near my head. Now give it back."

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

Gladys gave it back. "You May Of Course Assign Me Detention For my Disobedience."

Re: Talk to Jim

[notjustaworm.livejournal.com]

He took the blaster with some annoyance. "Nah ah ah," he shot back, "I'm the one who decides about the punishments around here! Shoo, nutlog."

Re: Talk to Jim

[cheminthehead.livejournal.com]

Gladys turned and left, light on her feet for something her size.