Interactive Religion [Tuesday, April 22]

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

"Welcome to your final," Biff said, smiling evilly. "You will be confronted with a series of multiple choice options in this hour. Use what you have learned in this class about major world religions to pick correctly. Afterwards, you may celebrate with pizza."

He paused.

"Just not here. I'm tired of all of you. Have a good summer."

Comments

Sign in [April 22]

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

With your most fearful icon.

Re: Sign in [April 22]

[raspberryturk]

Reno

Question #1

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

You are faced with a graven image of a god not your own. You:

1) draw silly mustaches on it.
2) appreciate it as art.
3) circumcise it.

Explain why.

Re: Question #1

[raspberryturk]

Reno decided at the very first question that he was going to enjoy writing this final exam.

He ticked off number three, and then BS-ed his way through a written answer.

"What better way to show those other guys that you mean business? Damn, nippin' off the tip really doesn't leave any question about who did it and what you think about 'em."

Re: Question #1

[the_merriest]

Rikku had circled both 1) and 3). Underneath she wrote:

Okay, I get 3 is supposed to be the answer but I'm not really sure why we chopped up some statue guy's penis for class? They're very nice things but then he's marble he won't be feeling it anyway. And mustaches wash off while the choppy thing is kinda permanent and I think there's a religious thing here I'm missing. But, uh, if we have to go for the choppy anyway, can't we do both? And maybe give the statue a festive hat. Festive hats rock.

Re: Question #1

[socksofcool.livejournal.com]

Seely wrote down "draw silly moustaches on it", since the circumcising didn't go too great last time.

Re: Question #1

[withoutverona]

Romeo knew it was the wrong answer, but he picked 2 anyhow.

And added, Unless it is made to seem like an angel. Then I run away with my eyes wide open.

Re: Question #1

[likethegun]

Sam circled #3 and wrote:

Because it's more correct if the statue is circumcised. If there are guards around the statue, stick to #2 until they go away.

Re: Question #1

[wannabe-pan.livejournal.com]

Andrew quickly circled three and wrote:

Not only would it make my god chuckle, but I would have a nifty conversation piece to display in my home.

Re: Question #1

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

Appreciate it as Art. I'm not interested in starting a holy war. (However I might discreetly hang a black "censored" sign over it's privates if it's nude. No one should take life too seriously.)

Re: Question #1

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal went with '2) appreciate it as art', because the other two answers were just ridiculous. The reason he wrote down, however, was that it was important to be respectful of other's beliefs.

Re: Question #1

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

Inara didn't quite headdesk when she saw the first question, but it was close.

She was going to do so, so badly.

2--Because it still has an important place in history, to say nothing of the hearts and minds of those members of the religion who worship him/her/it, and is therefore deserving of respect.

Re: Question #1

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

1. Because dude circumcision? OW!

Question #2

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

You are now in a room full of furniture. An angry Chinese concubine is telling you that the chi of the room is out of whack. You:

1) attempt to have sex with her to avoid moving furniture.
2) do what she says because she is scary.
3) do what she says because the chi is out of whack.

Explain why.

Re: Question #2

[raspberryturk]

Reno had circled question number one. And then scribbled it out. A few times.

And then circled number two, scribbling out "she" and writing "my girlfriend" overtop in its stead.

His written answer was as follows:

"I don't care about the freakin' chi. But if it'll get all of the yelling to stop, I'll move the stupid furniture."

Re: Question #2

[the_merriest]

Rikku circled 3), and underneath it added:

If she can feel the chi, and it's out of whack, then we should totally fix the chi until it seems right again. I'm gonna trust that she knows what she's talking about, I mean, just because I can't feel the chi doesn't mean she can't. Maybe I'm not in tune with it, maybe she has chi receptors. And if she's just throwing a hissyfit and lying about the chi being wrong, so what, moving the furniture fixed the problem, calling her on it isn't going to change that. It's just gonna tick her off, whether the chi's wrong or not. And then you'll have an angrier Chinese concubine and also, possibly, bad chi. Finally, I'd probably tell her that she should probably leave the whole concubine job as it doesn't seem to agree with her or her chi.

Re: Question #2

[socksofcool.livejournal.com]

Seely carefully crossed out "An Chinese concubine" and replaced it with "Aravis" before circling number one.

He added "because she's hot" after that.

Re: Question #2

[withoutverona]

Romeo looked wistfully at number 1, but circled number 2.

After she's calmed down, I could try to have sex with her, if I didn't have a girlfriend.

Re: Question #2

[likethegun]

Sam circled #3 again and wrote:

If she knows what she's talking about, the chi is out of whack. If she doesn't know what she's talking about, she still thinks the chi is out of whack, and will probably only get more angry if you ignore her. Or try to have sex with her.

Re: Question #2

[wannabe-pan.livejournal.com]

This one took some thought, but he eventually went with the second answer.

I would much rather just run away from the angry woman, but seeing as how that isn't an option, I would just move the furniture around to get her in a happier state.

Question #3

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Your best friend has managed to become enough of a yogi master that he has wedged himself into a wine jug. Now he's stuck. You:

1) Laugh your ass off.
2) Laugh your ass off, then break him out.
3) Demand to learn how to do that.

Explain your answer.

Re: Question #3

[raspberryturk]

Number one was circled on Reno's sheet. And there were stars drawn around it. And smiley faces. Several of them.

His written response?

"If he's enough of a dumbass to wedge himself into a wine jug, I'm gonna be sittin' there with the videophone recording while he tries to get his idiot ass out again. And I might sell copies."

Extra credit!

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Are you a messiah? Can you bring things back from the dead? Are you really, really desperate for an A?

Take this dead lizard and pop it into your mouth. If it comes back to life, you get an A!

[OOC: It won't come back to life. Eww.]

Re: Extra credit!

[raspberryturk]

Reno didn't think he could bring the lizard back from the dead.

But if someone bet him enough money, he'd probably eat it.

Last chance to talk to Karal!

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Ah, poor long suffering TA.

Re: Last chance to talk to Karal!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal was there finally, hush, I forgot, and looking a bit puzzled as he realised he was actually going to miss this class.

Say goodbye to Biff!

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

He's heading to Jerusalem to screw with tourists for the summer. Heh.

Re: Say goodbye to Biff!

[l1ttle-billy.livejournal.com]

"Hey, regardless of whether you think I'm a very unfunny joke or whatever, I really enjoyed having you as a teacher." Billy told Biff. He then tossed him an apple, with a gift certificate for pizza stuck under a rubber band wrapped around it.

Then he left, just in case there was gonna be hugging. Hee.

OOC

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

I'm on a plane to the East Coast all day. Plz to not burn down the school.