fandomhigh | Interactive Religion [Tuesday, April 8]

"Today I get to ~~bitch about~~ talk about the Twelve," Biff said with a slightly predatory gleam to his eyes. "Of course, there were fifteen of us, when you add in me, Josh, and Maggie." He frowned. "Who wasn't a harlot and I have no idea how that rumor got started. Probably her ex-husband."

He shrugged. "Anyone, the fourteen of us were in charge of logistics and security for Josh's events. As you might've guessed, that boy was a security nightmare. After the Sermon on the Mount--and if you think that was just off the top of his head, you're out of your mind--the apostles split up to spread the Word of the Messiah and Josh and I stayed out of the public eye for a little while."

Biff grinned. "Your activity today is to go forth and preach as the apostles did, heal the sick, and bring the good news that, frankly, not a lot of fairly important people were eager to hear. The computer will generate a number of scenarios that the apostles encountered. And you, lucky, lucky you, get to be one of the apostles. That's also been randomly assigned."

Austreben, Karal - John
Booth, Seely - Andrew
Katara - James
Kessler, Billy - Nathaniel of Cana
Madrox, Jamie - Thomas (and his imaginary friend Thomas 2)
Mizuno, Ami - Philip
Montague, Romeo - Peter
Reno - Simon the Canaanite
Rikku - Judas Iscariot
Serra, Inara - Mary of Magdela
Tarkheena, Aravis - Matthew
Wells, Andrew - Thaddeus
Winchester, Sam - Bartholomew

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Ask for more information about the people you're supposed to portray. Biff will cheerfully slander them. They left him out of the New Testament. He doesn't owe them anything.

"Thomas 2?" Jamie asked looking confused. "I don't remember two Thomases in the bible."

"There's just the one," Biff agreed, "and his imaginary friend. Thomas was a loony."

"How loony are we talking here?" Jamie asked. "Like minor loony or just completely-"

Jamie made some noises while flicking his bottom lip. "B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B"

"Definitely the second one," Biff said, laughing. "He thought that Lazarus was a kind of cat, not a leper."

... "Simon who?"

Reno had only learned, like, a couple of weeks ago what Christianity actually was. This would take some work.

Biff laughed. "Just Simon," he said. "Ahh, good times. He tried to sleep with Maggie one time. She brained him with a rock."

Reno scratched his head, puzzling over that one for a moment.

"So... he's... a horny idiot who might possibly be brain-damaged?"

Re: Boggle at Biff!

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"Philip? Could you give me more details please?"

"Sure," Biff said. "He wasn't a big fan of eating locusts or living in pits, but he did it because he believed in what John the Baptist was teaching. He was much happier to follow Josh instead. Oh! He was at Cana with us, too."

"Was Thaddeus important?" Andrew had never heard of him.

"He had a cool name," Biff said, grinning, "and was generally one of the least irritating of the Twelve. Oh! He also made sure Josh couldn't find the ass to ride triumphantly into Jerusalem on! Thwarting prophecy! Good man."

Romeo was, possibly idiotically, flattered to be chosen as Peter, but he still had a question. "Why did Peter deny your friend?"

Edited 2008-04-08 13:15 (UTC)

"Because he was petrified," Biff said, far more charitably than he would've at the time. "Josh was hell-bent on getting sacrificed. The rest of us were pretty much terrified cowards."

"Okay, which one am I?" Rikku asked.

Biff pointed at the piece of paper again. "Judas."

Rikku waved her hand. "No, I know that," she said. "Judas who gets a second name even though the rest of you seem to be on the tribe system. I mean, how do I play him, what was he like, blah blah blah."

She was the leading chicken of Fandom Chicken, occasionally, and thus rqeuired her proper motivation.

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"Okay so what was Nathanial like?"

"Nathaniel was a total moron," Biff said cheerfully.

"Yeah but you strike me as the type who'd say that about just about anybody."

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"James?" Katara asked, confused. "Which one's that?"

"James had an awesome beard," Biff said with a grin. "Good fisherman. Terrible singer."

Inara wasn't sure how she felt about portraying someone who had been mis-labeled a harlot for milennia.

"What was this Maggie really like?"

"She was the smartest and most beautiful woman I've ever known," Biff said with a smile. "She was amazing, and kind, and a hell of a preacher and if you got her upset, she could brain you with a rock."

Well, that wasn't what she'd been expecting, but she'd take it.

"What made her such an effective preacher, do you think?"

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