fandomhigh | Fandom Playschool Host Club, Sunday Afternoon

Reno had a Host Club! And his club had all sorts of neat stuff, like a lego table and a velcro dartboard and those nifty little cards that had pictures on them for matching games and stuff! And there was grape juice! And cookies! And a kind of scary lookin' pizza that he took from the common room last night that might have marshmallows and salami on it, but Reno wasn't sure.

Oh, oh, oh! And bestest of all? Reno's Host Club had boys who were there to entertain the girls or whatever, even if girls did have cooties. It was their duty as hosts to be all entertaining an' stuff, and that's why it had 'Host' in the name and not just 'play with our toys club' or something, and Host Club boys were tough and could totally handle a few cooties anyhow.

So it was really, really good that the clinic had free cootie shots today, maybe.

Oh! And Reno had made a sign with crayons and had hung it up and it was a good sign saying that the Host Club was open to everyone. If you squinted and looked at it sideways and used your 'magination.

And if they were real good, maybe Uncle Barney would tell them all a story, Reno hoped. Because Uncle Barney was awesome.

[OCD is up and the Host Club is open to all!]

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Reno waved hi hi hi to Uncle Barney! He liked him, because he was smart and awesome and brought movies and he was really awesome.

"Hiii! Or yo! I like yo better an' stuff." He nodded a very serious sort of nod, and then pointed to the drink. "What's thaaat? Will you tell me a story? I'm bored! Hiiii! I mean, Yo!"

"This," Barney said, pointing at his drink, "Is where Uncle Barney gets all his special powers." He was glad radio had prepared him for this. Somewhat.

Reno's eyes went wide.

"Special powers, really? I bet you're all super fast and stuff, yo. But I'm faster because I'm the fastest." This was coupled with a very certain sort of nod. "Is it like mako? I gotts mako. 'S why my eyes are blue! Are your eyes blue?"

Of course this meant that he had to attempt to scramble into Barney's lap to investigate. But he was wee and easily removable. Totally.

"Don't make me use my magic to remove you!" Barney said, brushing the kid to the floor. Of course, he kinda wanted to use his magic.

Hey, the floor was good, too. Reno made himself totally comfortable on the floor, sitting all cross-legged and stuff and grinning up at Barney.

"Magic is really cool! When I'm growed up and awesome like you, I'm gonna use magic, too." He bounced in place a little. "I wanna see some magic! Show me some magic, pleeeeeeeease?"

"Now that is how you get a show," Barney grinned, beginning to wave his hands in the air in front of him. "How about this awesome bit of MAGIC!" When he said 'magic' a fireball sparked between his hands. It was rather impressive.

Normally he got thrown in time out for his magic, but not today!

Reno was staring in awe, his eyes wide like saucers and his mouth hanging open and whoa.

...

WHOA.

"That was SO COOL!!!" Cue the bouncing in place and clapping. "Do you know more? I wanna see more! Show me?"

"All in good time, my boy!" Barney said, enjoying that reaction. He hadn't prepped for any other tricks.

"If you promise to be good, Uncle Barney could tell you a magical story." Sadly, it would not be Rated G for all audiences.

What Reno didn't know about child-friendly material wouldn't hurt him. It just meant that he might be scarred for life when he grew up. Uh. Tomorrow.

"I'll be good," he proclaimed, wiggling on his butt and clapping his hands. "I wanna hear a story! Pleeeease?"

Storytime was awesome!

"Excellent!" Barney clapped his hands together and sat back in his chair to begin. "So there's this guy, we'll call him Ted and he's an architect and a bachelor and doesn't realize how good he's got it."

Reno leaned forward, listening, enraptured. Storytime was the best thing ever.

"Uh-huh?" He didn't know what an arkeeteckt was, but it was a big word, so it probably meant he was awesome and had laser-beam breath.

"So idiot Ted decided he wants to get married, remember, marriage is bad. And he wants children and, well..." Barney peered at his wee audience. "Children aren't all bad, but the point is that Ted was Desperate. And desperation leads to awkward dating and a lack of good sex."

Reno was so very absorbed, now. Taking notes in his head. Awkward dating and marriage were bad. Okay! And he was vaguely aware that sex was a good thing, but couldn't quite remember why, so he scrunched up his face and stuck out his tongue.

"Ew," he decided. "Ted's dumb."

"That he is!" Barney agreed. "So Ted meets Robin, who, I grant you, is a fox. She invited me for 'Battleship' once. And you know what that means." He thought it was rather obvious.

Reno tilted his head, considering.

"You won?"

He really didn't know what it meant. And he was now imagining a fox playing battleship with Barney while a stupid arkeetekt with laser-breath tried to introduce himself.

He giggled.

"Exactly, squirt!" Barney liked this kid. He was cool like Barney's nephew would be one day. "Ted begged Robin to date him for a year before she agreed. Let's think about this. That's a full year of not enjoying yourself by having night after night of satisfying relations with hot, available cutlets! Ted again, is an idiot."

Reno nodded some more, wiggling on his butt on the floor.

Storytime was the best thing ever.

"A year's a long time not to play battleship," he decided. And he ought to know. He was five of them old!

Fandom Playschool Host Club, Sunday Afternoon

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!

Re: Talk to Uncle Barney!