fandomhigh | Criminal Justice (As Taught By A Criminal) - Period 3

Today Deadpool was bouncy. For many reasons, but none of those were needed to be known by the wee students and their twisted little minds and stop picturing him naked, you sick sick little kids!

...ahem.

Anyway! He twirled a set of handcuffs gleefully, waiting for everyone to arrive. "Gooooood morning class! Today we have an exercise for you to do. And a very special guest to help demonstrate proper procedure." He glanced over at his wonder special crazy guest. "Isn't that right?"

"I can't believe I agreed to do this," Fraser said, looking stricken. "You'd better have a key, you'd better not leave me in this class by myself and this has no bearing on any...three letter thing."

Deadpool paused. "No, Benton, I doubt cats have anything to do with this class. And of course I have a key!" A beat. "Somewhere."

Fraser looked even more stricken. It wasn't that he hadn't used handcuffs lately, it was just those times had been... not with Deadpool. "If you ate it, I'm going to be very unpleasant to you."

Awww.

Deadpool made a note to congratulate him on not blushing.

"I didn't eat anything," He said, suddenly snapping a cuff on one of Fraser's wrists. "Well, I did, but it was edible and made of delicious pastry."

"Please, not too tight," Fraser said, trying not to whine but he was wary of Deadpool using handcuffs on him. Very wary. "And no tearing my uniform once I am handcuffed. I need this uniform as it's my only one right now."

"Benton, please. There are impressionable children present. You're giving them the wrong idea here." He grinned at the class, waving the cuffs-- and Fraser's wrist-- about. "You have two options here-- well, three, kinda. If you're mean. Cuff them up front, in back, oooooor---"

He kicked behind Fraser's knee to force him to his knees, pulling his cuffed hand up and bent over his head.

"--you can be mean!"

Fraser suppressed a wince at both the arm wrenching and the sudden floor underneath his knees. "Was that really necessary? You couldn't just ask me to get on my knees? I would have!"

...

"Yoooou might wanna rethink that, Benny."

"Don't call me that," Fraser groused, not seeing how what he'd said was so bad. "It would've been a polite courtesy to ask me to get on my knees. I would have, you would have said thank you and I would have said you're welcome and it would have saved me a sore arm."

Fraser needed to shut up.

Yes, yes he did.

"I'll get you kneepads next time, okay?" Wade replied, letting go of his arm and fishing for the keys. "But it was an excellent example, right kids?" A beat. "This is the part where you clap."

Fraser, still grumbling, was too polite not to clap. So, he clapped one hand against one thigh. "Bravo. An excellent demonstration of handcuffing skills."

"I like to think so," Deadpool said, finding a small ring of keys. "Now, I want all you to split up into teams of two and practice this. I have keys here and... I'm not exactly sure what key goes with what hand cuff, so... have fun!"

Squinting at the ring, he frowned. "Probably should start on you."

"I will stay here all day until you find the key," Fraser threatened. "I will go home with you if I have to. I am not leaving your sight until you find the key to this handcuff."

"Impressionable!" Wade shouted.

[[OOC: ~~Please wait for the~~ OCD is up!]]

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"I'm sorry if my first instinct was wrong," he replied, wondering why she wasn't unlocking him. "But hey, he proved your point that there's nothing I can do to help you, and are you going to let me out of these cuffs at any point?"

"In a minute. That was not my point."

"So what was your point?"

"That I'd had a bad week!" she said.

"And you needed me to just be there for you?" he had to ask because all he'd heard Friday was that she didn't need him for anything.

See, these were the sort of words she had trouble with, as evidenced by the pause. "Fine, yes," she sighed. "Happy?"

"Not if you're just agreeing with me to make me happy," John said. "I don't want to put words in your mouth."

"I will hit you while you're still handcuffed," Jaina said.

"If it'll help, do it," John said.

"I'm saving the hitting for someone else, thanks," she said dryly. "When have you ever known me to say something just because I was supposed to say it?"

She might've had a point there. "Never."

"And you'd think I'd start now?"

"No, but is it so wrong to need me for something?" he asked, dropping his voice. "I need you, too."

"You already have me," she said, slightly confused but matching his tone because now she remembered they were in class.

He could tell she didn't get it, but he was kind of tired of the circle of arguments. "So uncuff me."

"Explain that first," she said, not moving.

He sighed, "It's like when all the Fandom weirdness attacks me. Afterwards, I need you to help be get back to normal."

A friend had helped him realize that these things work both ways.

Edited 2008-02-11 23:44 (UTC)

Somehow that hadn't ever occurred to her. This is because Jaina had problems. "You do?"

He nodded, "You make it less bad." He was only admitting this under the duress of being handcuffed and yelled at.

"Less bad," she said, eyebrows raised. And he was so close to getting unhandcuffed, too.

"I am never getting out of these cuffs, am I?" he asked. "Less bad is, you know, better."

"Should've said that to begin with," Jaina said, but she didn't really have any more questions. With that realization, the cuffs came undone without her using the key. Strictly speaking, she probably wasn't supposed to do that, but she wasn't supposed to take her boyfriend hostage in class, either.