fandomhigh | Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 29]

Once again the students met in the Danger Room. The temperature had been cranked up to desert levels of heat, which was convenient since they were in the desert.

"Welcome to Egypt," Biff said with a grin. "Half of you will get to be the oppressed Hebrews, doomed to slavery because of your belief in one god. The other half of you will be Egyptians, very busy building up the greatest civilization in the world at the time, worshiping multiple gods, and oppressing the Hebrews."

He clasped his hands behind his back and paced. "This is one of the pivotal moments in Jewish history. Moses--" he pointed to Seely, "has been asking Pharaoh--" he pointed at Karal, "to let his people go. But the Lord had hardened Pharaoh's heart, as the Lord sometimes does, and despite multiple plagues: rivers turning to blood, lice, flies, diseased animals, locusts, boils, rain of fire, blocking out the sun for three full days, and frogs, the Pharaoh wouldn't let the Lord's chosen people go."

He snorted. "Despite what some angels might have told me, I don't think a rain of barbecued pork would've really changed things. The Lord could've dropped sides of cattle from the sky and Pharaoh wouldn't have budged. Finally, the Lord threatened to kill all of the first born sons, from Pharaoh's on down. He would spare--'pass over'--those doors that had lamb's blood on them."

"And that was enough to get Pharaoh to break. He said 'out you go' to Moses and the Hebrews weren't about to stick around to have him change his mind, so they started hauling themselves, their asses, their kids, and their matzo--flatbread because there wasn't time for dough to rise--and starting heading for the Red Sea."

He pointed at the rig of buckets in a path down the center of the desert. "Since actually drowning you all would be discouraged, we won't be using the real Red Sea. Moses, pick out your Hebrews, each of you grab a donkey--" there were real donkeys, yeah, "and start crossing through the miraculously dry Red Sea." He grinned. "The Lord made a wall of water on one side and on the other, so the Hebrews could pass through the sea unharmed because of course Pharaoh changed his mind. A nation of free labor was walking away!"

He pointed at Karal. "Pharaoh, you give 'em a fifteen minute head start, then take your charioteers--" he handed each of them a pair of coconut halves, "--and go chasing after them."

Pharaoh and the charioteers would be getting a good dousing. Biff was looking forward to it.

"Okay, go!"

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"You mean Rude?" Rikku asked, bouncing on her toes. Hey, he mentioned him plenty. She giggled. "Con? You're running a scam? And you didn't cut me in? I'm the best thief in town, you know."

"Whole thing's a scam," Reno replied, "you should see the prices they had on their EMRs the other year at the vendors tables, yo."

With any luck, he wouldn't have to threaten to hang the dealers upside-down by their toenails this year just to get a discount.

"You, uh." Blink. "You wanna run that by me again?"

Oh. Oh, hey! She actually didn't know.

...

Of course she didn't know. The hell. She wasn't a merc, dammit.

"Rude's gonna be on the island for a convention," Reno explained. Carefully.

"Ohhhh." Rikku chewed her lip. "That sounds kinda neat. The fun kind or the boring but you have to go for work anyway kind?"

Reno was having a moment of intense mental struggle, here. He wanted to tell Rikku all about MercCon. And he also valued his life. Cute girl asking questions. Mercs whose con could potentially be crashed. Tough call.

"MercCon. Rude and I always go together. Kinda like tradition, yo."

Cute girl always wins.

"MercCon?" There was a light bulb going on over Rikku's head. "You mean ... like, mercenaries and all that? Hanging out for a weekend? Are you serious!?"

... Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

"Yes, and if you tell anyone, I swear you'll get hunted down and skinned alive for it, yo," Reno said, wide-eyed. The 'ooh shiny' reaction was slightly worrisome, here.

"No one told me!?" Before any skinning alive could happen, first, there had to be the hissyfit. "Deadpool didn't tell me? You didn't tell me? Nobody told me!? Reno! You can't just ... dude!"

"Consider yourself told?" Reno had no freaking clue how to deal with a hissyfit. Rude didn't throw hissyfits. Reno was beginning to suspect that he'd been spoiled all the years he'd had the guy as a partner.

"I wanna go!" Stage two of the hissyfit involved flailing. "I have to go! That's gonna be so great! How do I go?! You can't just tell me there's gonna be this thing going on and not take me! Dude!"

...

"You realize this is a mercenary convention, Rikku?"

This? This was an epic level of stinkeye.

"What the hell did you think Deadpool does when he's not teaching? Work in a freaking toy factory? Babysit puppies?"

"Work in a toy puppy factory? I dunno, the guy got you an ice cream pony, didn't he?" Reno rolled his eyes and shrugged his shoulders. "Gettin' in is easy enough, yo. It's all a matter of who you know in the business, really."

"And the Glock?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "He's usually the one to spar with me. Training stuff. Which, by the way, it's a good thing we stopped when we did, when I blew your knee out? 'Cause if we kept going I was gonna go back to it a few times. It's like it had "WEAKNESS" written on it in big day-glo letters."

"What, to my knee?" Reno raised an eyebrow at that. "You honestly think I'd be stupid enough to let you pull that on me a second time, Rikku?"

"Your stance was wide open," she shrugged. "I'm not saying you were gonna leave it out or anything, but no way you could've guarded it. Would've been too hard to keep that slouch of yours going."

"Next time, I'll know better than to try not to kill you," he said smoothly. "Then we can put your knee back together instead, yo."

"Sounds like you want a rematch," she said, nodding. "You can tell me all about this MercCon and how you're gonna sneak me in."

Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 29]

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!