Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 29]

[nojesusfreak.livejournal.com]

Once again the students met in the Danger Room. The temperature had been cranked up to desert levels of heat, which was convenient since they were in the desert.

"Welcome to Egypt," Biff said with a grin. "Half of you will get to be the oppressed Hebrews, doomed to slavery because of your belief in one god. The other half of you will be Egyptians, very busy building up the greatest civilization in the world at the time, worshiping multiple gods, and oppressing the Hebrews."

He clasped his hands behind his back and paced. "This is one of the pivotal moments in Jewish history. Moses--" he pointed to Seely, "has been asking Pharaoh--" he pointed at Karal, "to let his people go. But the Lord had hardened Pharaoh's heart, as the Lord sometimes does, and despite multiple plagues: rivers turning to blood, lice, flies, diseased animals, locusts, boils, rain of fire, blocking out the sun for three full days, and frogs, the Pharaoh wouldn't let the Lord's chosen people go."

He snorted. "Despite what some angels might have told me, I don't think a rain of barbecued pork would've really changed things. The Lord could've dropped sides of cattle from the sky and Pharaoh wouldn't have budged. Finally, the Lord threatened to kill all of the first born sons, from Pharaoh's on down. He would spare--'pass over'--those doors that had lamb's blood on them."

"And that was enough to get Pharaoh to break. He said 'out you go' to Moses and the Hebrews weren't about to stick around to have him change his mind, so they started hauling themselves, their asses, their kids, and their matzo--flatbread because there wasn't time for dough to rise--and starting heading for the Red Sea."

He pointed at the rig of buckets in a path down the center of the desert. "Since actually drowning you all would be discouraged, we won't be using the real Red Sea. Moses, pick out your Hebrews, each of you grab a donkey--" there were real donkeys, yeah, "and start crossing through the miraculously dry Red Sea." He grinned. "The Lord made a wall of water on one side and on the other, so the Hebrews could pass through the sea unharmed because of course Pharaoh changed his mind. A nation of free labor was walking away!"

He pointed at Karal. "Pharaoh, you give 'em a fifteen minute head start, then take your charioteers--" he handed each of them a pair of coconut halves, "--and go chasing after them."

Pharaoh and the charioteers would be getting a good dousing. Biff was looking forward to it.

"Okay, go!"

Comments

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"Yes, charge," Karal muttered. "Because this isn't insane at all."

Yes, he had his lovely

bunch

pair of coconuts. No, he wasn't banging them together. His hands still hurt, and he hadn't actually gone mad any time in the last fifteen minutes.

"Very well, let's get those Hebrews! Because Vkandis knows, the last thing we want is for people who can bring plagues to leave the country."

[ooc: sleeping for awhile! Feel free to charge on bravely and assume Karal is oh so enthusiastically leading you to a watery doom.]

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

As Inara saw it, her choices were Seely and donkeys, or Karal and no donkeys. So, here she was.

"Oh, Pharoah, sir? What are the coconut shells for? Should we bake the departing slaves pie?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal heaved a deep sigh. "You are not funny," he told her. "I suspect, knowing our teacher, they're meant to mimic the sound of the horses we don't have."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

And now she was staring at the lovely bunch of coconuts. "That's--that makes no sense."

Still, she decided to try again. "Can't we just get new slaves?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal stared at her. "I don't think we should have any slaves at all!" he pointed out, then deliberately dropped his coconuts into the sand. They itched. "The sooner we follow, the sooner this can be over."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"I'm method acting," she explained, "and I still don't understand why we're going after them. Do you not have enough to do?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"Oh, glory, I don't know. Apparently I'm deeply stupid," he said after a moment's thought. "Or I hate my first-born son, or I've been drinking." He stared at the sand and the buckets and nodded. "Drinking, definitely."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[ambassadorinara.livejournal.com]

"And here I thought that the worst thing that happened when you grew up with too much sand was that you ended up like Gavin and Luke," she whispered, giggling.

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal shook his head and started to chuckle. "We'd best not stay out here for long, or we still might."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[the_merriest]

"Can we go off the script?" Rikku asked. "I mean, you're the Pharoah and all. If you've decided to let them go, maybe we just throw the Hebrews a big going-away party. One that says in big letters 'please don't come back with those scary plagues.'"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

It was very tempting, but he glanced at Biff, adjusted his hat, and shook his head. "I think we need to follow them, Rikku. I suspect this is destined to end in a specific way." With them all getting very wet

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[the_merriest]

"Which makes it more fun to mess with it," she giggled. "Okay, okay, I'll behave. Why can't people come in here on days when no one's using it, anyway? Just ... set the temperature to something nice and hang out at the beach?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal opened his mouth to anser, then shut it, shaking his head. "I have no idea," he admitted. "Glory, it would be nice, wouldn't it?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[the_merriest]

"It would be wonderful," she sighed. "I can't stand this cold. It's just wrong."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"You should come to Karse one winter, go up into the mountains. It snows so deep and then drifts so high you can lose a horse in them." He might have been exaggerating slightly. "You didn't have this sort of cold in your world?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[the_merriest]

Rikku shuddered. "On Mount Gagazet, they do. The Ronso live there. We had to climb it, to get to Zanarkand? I froze the whole way. I grew up in the desert. Who would want to live in the snow?!"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"It's nice from inside," he said, a little wistfully. "I used to sit in the Temple antechamber in winter, where it was warm and dry, and watch the snow blanket everything. Glory, it was beautiful."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara decided following Karal would probably be a better bet than otherwise.

"It shouldn't be too hard," she pointed out to Karal. "We just need to keep the water away from us..."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal beamed at her and chuckled. "And did you have any ideas on how we might do that?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

"Well..." Katara beamed back. "You could have a waterbender on the Egyptians' side.

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"That would make it much easier," he told her, even if was momentarily distracted with wondering if a waterbender could reverse what a god had done.

After a moment, he leaned over to whisper conspiratorially. "I might know where to find one of those."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara giggled and whispered back. "I hear they're very rare. Where?"

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

"Well, I'm not sure I should tell you..."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[southernbender.livejournal.com]

Katara gave him very, very big eyes.

"But I'm very trustworthy."

Re: Cross the Red Sea! Egyptians!

[vkandis-son.livejournal.com]

Karal barely hung onto his laugh. "Are you sure?"