The Art of Cool: Class 2, Period 2 (Friday, January 18)

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

Every Teenager Sucks (This Includes You and that BOY YOU LIKE)

Tink was somewhat astonished by the number of students who returned. To be honest, while she had enjoyed herself rather a great deal, she had imagined that most of the students would discover their inability for ever achieving "cool" and therefore not bother to come back for further abuse education. They were either braver or dumber than she realized, and she had a feeling it was the latter.

"They need the grades," Barney told her, taking a long pull from the glass of scotch he'd remembered to bring with him from their office this morning. "And we're not talking about the ripest melons on the vine." He spent a moment thinking about some nice melons.

Ah. Right. That would explain things, then. Well! They should move right along to this week's topic, so that they could get to the part where they mocked everyone again and laugh. They were going to do that, right? Because that was her very favorite part.

"We'll do anything you like, Ms. Bell," Barney replied, giving her a wink. "Students!" he announced, suddenly deciding to focus on them and not Tink's amazing ensemble. "Quit pretending you have people to text on your cell phones and pay attention. Ms. Bell is ready to begin the torment, er, the discussion of why you teenagers suck."

Tink placed a chart up on the screen for everyone to look at. Wasn't it a wonderful graph? It was! It was all about why teenagers shouldn't be in relationships or - worse - say that they were in looooove.



"Keep in mind that none of you are in love. And no, I don't care if you would die for him or her, that is not love. That is called having no sense of self preservation. Look it up. What I want you all to think about is Commitment-Free Sex. Yes, SEX! With people who are not going to cling to you afterwards."

Sex! Tink did a happy jingly dance for that. With people who were very hot and understood that you might need, in a few days, to go and have sex with other people who were very hot, and who wouldn't turn into stalkers. Stalkers and jealousy were not signs of love, children. They were signs of idiotic teenagers who were going about this whole sex thing wrong.

"You took the words out of my mouth, Ms. Bell," Barney said, smiling fondly at her.

Tink preened. He was ever so charming, and she loved the way he said Ms. Bell. Right, yes, class! Sex was very important to a growing teenager's well-being, and love was one of those things that made sex complicated, messy and unpleasant. What a horrible shame that the two had to be mixed up together like that.

"Therefore, we are here to show you the way! Learn now to dump your relationship and embrace the glory of commitment-free sexual encounters, regret-free assuming you use proper protection! Today you're going to pair up and role play breaking up with your partner, explaining the inherent benefits of commitment-free sex to one another as your reason for said break-up," Barney enjoyed giving directions like this.

Go to the light! Find the way! And for your homework, you have to do it for real! Tell your boring and stupid boyfriend or girlfriend that you're leaving him or her so you can have commitment-free sex! You will thank us later! Next week, when you're free from the shackles of that stupid, boring relationship and having commitment-free sex with far hotter people!

"If you happen to be lucky and sans-relationship, your homework assignment is to find someone and let them know, 'Hey, I'm not in a relationship, that means we could be having commitment-free sex, interested?' If it sounds difficult, then you need practice anyway," Barney told them.

It was just as easy as it sounded! And it meant you could meet all sorts of new and interesting people, and possibly have sex with them! How could that ever be a bad thing? It couldn't!

"Oh, and by the way, we painstakingly selected one Ronald Weasley as your esteemed TA. Ask him any questions you have about the homework. Good luck with that! Now, on to the discussion questions!"

(Tink was not, in fact, snickering at the newly-selected TA. Must be just your imagination.)


[ooc: We like 'em, duuudes]

Comments

Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[suit-of-awesome.livejournal.com]

It's not you. It's not me, either. It's the fact that you're impeding my ability to have commitment-free sex.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

Considering he'd never broken up with someone before, Gavin was pretty sure he'd suck at this activity.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[isourking.livejournal.com]

Ron decided that the best thing to do was to get this over with. And chose someone at random.

"j00! W3 n33d 2 break ^ so I can h@lf the hawt s3xx0rs w/ 6y 81tc#s"

This was followed by Ron going "..." And then "O.o"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

"...what?" Gavin had heard some alien dialect in his time but this was...very alien. "I didn't understand you, sorry."

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[isourking.livejournal.com]

"Do not want!" Ron said and then grimaced. "U no longer my GF! W3 cannot B 2getha. 2 b@d s0 s@d."

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[sixstandingby.livejournal.com]

Gavin got the first part but the rest was just...not working. "Well...I do not want you either," he tried. "So, it's over. We can still be...friends?"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[isourking.livejournal.com]

"kthx!" Ron nodding emphatically. "BFF's! Br0s b4 h03s!"

Ron then shook his head.

"ssry. Woke ^ & t@lk like this," Ron said bitterly. "lol."

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[withoutverona]

Romeo had never been through this in a way not ending in death, so he was mildly curious how it would go, even though he was still maddened by the class as a whole.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River wasn't extremely experienced in breakups either. "Pair up?" she asked Romeo.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[withoutverona]

At least he got a girl.

"If you wish," Romeo said. "Ladies first?"

[OOC: As long as it goes better than it did last time we did this.]

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[moonbrain-tam.livejournal.com]

River gave a nod then looked straight at him, her eyes fixed. "We can no longer be in an exclusive relationship, as I have decided I need to explore sexual experiences with other people," she said, her voice neutral.

[Only two people this time :D]

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[withoutverona]

Romeo leaned toward River beseechingly. "But is that all our relationship is to you?" he asked. "I love thee, River. name the part and I shall play it."

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[raspberryturk]

Reno had never bothered to make a commitment like this to the point where he'd have to break it.

Right. This would be a learning experience or something.

[Wonky not there availability around work on into the evening, as is the norm. Yay. Work.]

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

Ha, the cute boy with the fabulous sunglasses. Excellent.

Dōjima sat down next to him and offered up her sweetest smile. "This seat taken?"

[also with the wonky of available-ness. together, we are invincible!!!]

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[raspberryturk]

"Is now," Reno said with a grin. "Guess now that you're here, I gotta dump you, yo."

Which, given that they hadn't done anything, was really such a shame, wasn't it?

[[Mostly not here availability, for great justice!]]

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[dojima-hime.livejournal.com]

"You 'gotta dump me'? Seriously?" She fluttered her eyelashes at him, sulking slightly. "I've never been dumped before. I'm crushed. Heartbroken. My self-esteem might never recover."

Dōjima? Take this seriously? Not.

"What makes you think you'll ever find anything half as good as me, anyway?"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[raspberryturk]

"Commitment is so not my thing, sweetheart." The redhead stretched his arms and grinned. "Surprised we lasted this long, zoto. Hate to leave you all alone, but there's a whole world of untapped ass out there just waitin' for me."

Well, there was.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[minnesota-teen.livejournal.com]

Amber didn't get how this activity was going to work. She's never broken up with anyone before. Especially not over sex.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[morpherboy.livejournal.com]

Marco had never even dated anyone. "Hi!"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[minnesota-teen.livejournal.com]

"Hi!" she said. "I'm Amber Atkins."

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[morpherboy.livejournal.com]

"Marco." Marco introduced himself. "So...any idea how we're supposed to do this?"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[minnesota-teen.livejournal.com]

"Nice to meet you, Marco, and uh, oh gosh, I'm thinkin' we can just pretend we're a couple and then you or I can do the breakin' up. How's that sound?"

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke looked petrified.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[inthereflexes.livejournal.com]

Jack was looking, jaw dropped. And looked around some more.

It really wasn't an invitation, he was just looking for someone female to do the assignment with, not a guy with worse hair than him.

Re: Activity - Pair Up And Break Up [1/18]

[robinthefrog.livejournal.com]

Robin had never had a girlfriend anyway. He had no clue how to go about breaking up with one.