fandomhigh | Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 15]

Biff was in the Danger Room, which was set up as hot, dark, desert town, sipping on a huge mug of coffee as the class arrived.

"Though they've fallen out of favor now," Biff said, "at least on this world, the major religion that dominated my time was a polytheistic one. The Romans had gods -- and graven idols -- for everything. We Jews have just the one. Um, God, not graven idols. We didn't do well with graven idols. I was told by a Phoenician that we wouldn't worry so much if we had more than one god, but he also told me that he'd screwed a turtle, so I'm not really relying much on his spiritual guidance."

He leaned against a pillar. "Your task today isn't to decide if there is a god, or multiple gods, and it's certainly not to rant at me about whatever wrongs you feel religion has inflicted upon you."

He waved a hand towards several giant statues of Apollo. "Your job today is to circumcise that statue of Apollo before the Roman centurions catch you."

He grinned. "It's a religious experience. Really."

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Karal winced again. "Bright flame..."

He gave a quick shake of his head, forcing his attention back to the matter at hand, and then immediately wished he hadn't. "Sneaking?" he suggested weakly, and started creeping forward without waiting for a response.

"Sneaking."

Seely followed, still facepalming.

So far the men in the funny hats didn't seem to have noticed them.

Karal was kind of hoping they would, because then they wouldn't have to use their mallets.

"Maybe the big helmets make it hard for them to hear," he whispered to Seely.

"Maybe," Seely agreed in a low voice. "C'mon, let's get it over with quickly."

Karal nodded and kept on sneaking, then set the box at the statue's feet. "Must we?" he asked even as he was climbing up on one end of the box, leaving enough space for Seely on the other.

"I think he'll notice if we don't," Seely said, standing on the other end of the box. "Do you want to or should I?"

He really didn't want to, but he was afraid it might too traumatic for Seely, given he'd been through this himself. Another involuntary wince followed close on that thought.

"I'll do it," he whispered. "Just let me think about it for a moment."

Karal shifted his grip on the mallet, eyeing the...target, trying to work out the best way to proceed.

"Just remember to be gentle," Seely reminded him.

"Yes, yes," he said absently. "I know."

He lined the mallet up carefully. Swung...

Whack.

Thunk.

"Oops."

Seely stared at Karal.

Then at the marble member on the ground.

Then back at Karal.

"That's a bit more than 'not very much'!"

He bit his lip, trying not to start laughing hysterically as he stared down at it where it lay pathetically on the ground.

"Do you think we could stick it back on?"

Karal lifted his head to meet the horrified gaze of several centurions, apparently drawn by the noise. He wasn't sure, but he thought they might be trying to cross their legs. "Umm, Seely?"

Seely followed Karal's line of sight. "I can see them," he said in an undertone. "And I said I was circumcised, not that I was eunuch!"

"it was an accident!" Karal exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

Of course, he was still holding the mallet, and when it arced through the air, the centurions collectively winced. They were definitely trying to cross their legs, which at least slowed their advance.

"What do we do?"

"Run," Seely suggested, eyeing the wincing centurions. "Running's good. And you can ask Aravis, I'm not a eunuch."

"I know you're not! You're forgetting, I walked in on you one time." Karal jumped off the box. "I wish I could."

Run, running sounded good. But it obviously sounded good to the centurions, as well, who started doing exactly that. "Oh, Sunlord."

Seeing they needed some sort of distraction Seely bent down to scoop up little Apollo, and threw it at the nearest centurion hitting him square on the helmet.

"Run," Seely repeated, grabbing for Karal's arm as he bolted.

Edited 2008-01-15 12:46 (UTC)

Since Karal was showing a definite tendency to stare gape mouthed, it was a darn good thing Seely grabbed his arm.

He scrambled after him, happy to put as much distance between him, Apollos, little Apollos and men in funny hats as he possibly could. "Bright flame, I could really learn to loathe this class."

Seely grimaced. "You're not the only one."

Interactive Religion [Tuesday, January 15]

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