fandomhigh | Library [10/08]

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Library [10/08]

Sure, today was a holiday in some strange, normal places. But this was Fandom, and that meant Sam was doing his usual Monday duty of getting the library open.

Odds are, he would have done it even if it was a holiday. Geek.

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"What?" Dean repeated, tone one of total disbelief. "Dude, you were six months old. What could you have done -- learned to sit up in an evil way that would offend God?"

"I don't know. But you don't think there's even a small chance that this could be my fault? I mean, Mom died in my nursery."

"No way. Absolutely not," Dean said shaking his head fiercely.

Dean's faith in that made Sam feel a lot better, even if he wasn't convinced that Dean was right. "Okay, so maybe that's not it. But I don't know what else it could be."

"Well it's not that," Dean told him firmly. "Yeah, our lives have sucked, but one thing that doesn't and has never sucked is having you for a brother. Even if you are a great big dork."

Sam couldn't avoid the embarrassed smile that came from Dean's words. "Thanks Dean," he said. "I feel the same way. Except you're not much of a dork, unless we're talking about cars."

"How long have you been blaming yourself?" Dean asked.

"Ever since I found out what really happened, I guess. It's just always been the explanation that makes the most sense, you know?"

"Dude, I wished you'd said something," Dean said, looking at his brother and shaking his head. "It's not your fault, Sammy. Dad will tell you the same thing."

"I know," Sam said seriously. "For all our problems with each other, I do know that he doesn't blame me for anything that happened to Mom."

"But you still think it's your fault."

"It's not like I can just flip a switch and change my entire thought process on this, just because it doesn't match what you and Dad think," Sam replied.

"Well then," Dean said, leaning back in his chair. "Guess I have my work cut out for me."

Sam sighed. "Dean, you don't have any work here."

"I'm not going to let you go through life thinking you're to blame for Mom's death," Dean told him. "That's just not going to be on the table."

"Okay, fine, you're right. It's not my fault. Will you let it go now?"

Dean shook his head and grinned. "You've never been able to lie to me, Sammy. But nice try."

"I just don't want to give you one more thing that you feel like you have to do when it comes to me," Sam said.

"It's all part of the same thing," Dean told him. "Looking out for you."

"You already do enough of that," Sam said. "Don't worry about this, okay?"

"I'm not going to worry about it," Dean told him. "I'm just going to fix it."

All Sam could do was smile and shake his head. "Okay, Dean, whatever you say."

"Damn straight." Dean took a big bite of his sandwich then eyed his brother's. "You gonna eat that?"

"Yes," Sam replied, holding it close to himself to keep it out of Dean's reach. "You have your own food, leave mine alone."

"Well, technically it's all mine since I made it, but I'm a nice enough guy to share," Dean said with a grin.

Re: Lunch [10/08]

likethegun - 2007-10-08 23:02 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Lunch [10/08]

saltandammo.livejournal.com - 2007-10-08 23:03 (UTC) - Expand

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