Debating, Friday September 14

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

After a couple awkward teacherless minutes, Chuck walked through the door. He acted as if nothing had happened, going to the board and writing:



Generalizations

Chuck tapped the board under the word. “When you know a little about your opponent, you can use that to your advantage. Like they say, “a little bit of knowledge is dangerous…” to your foes. Take these two,” he looked at Jim and Willow, “I had them in class last year. Even though I don’t know them very well, I could say that Willow’s eagerness to study denotes a lack of personal life and a need to compensate to fill that hole in her heart. Or that Jim’s newfound inability to take notes means he will do poorly in school and end up a cubicle drone, endlessly shuffling papers.”

He rounded on Turtle. “I’ve heard her talking about stock options on the radio. Thus, she’s missed out on her entire childhood, and is doomed to have a massive breakdown in adulthood. Unstable.”

Chuck nodded toward Jeff. “He seems a little nervous. I’m guessing that he has some terrible secret, probably involving arson. Yeah, he’s an arsonist.”

“Then there’s the Asian kids.” Namine and Haruhi were next. “I could say that I’m fully expecting A’s from them, and if they’re doing poorly, that they ought to lay off on the Chinese cartoons.” He saw Namine’s sketchbook, and ignored any conventions of her style to say: “Point made.”

“Blonde jokes will never fail to make your opponent feel devalued.” He pointed to Cher. “She looks like a bottle blonde,” to Annette, “she’s probably the rich spoiled kind,” to Charlie, “vacant blond, obsessed with appearance. Probably a moody water sign, too,” he turned to Meg, “and since she’s the fourth person to be listed, this one probably follows the crowd all the time.”

“It’s not just hair color. Judging by appearance is just generally a good idea.” He turned his accusing finger to Zim. “The green kid looks like he’s from Mars.” He nodded to Ronan. “He looks like a Goth, and probably has a very active fantasy life, filled with swords and spears and dungeons and dragons.” He pointed to Mel’s shoes. “Her mom probably also wears combat boots.” He turned to Valentine next.

And stopped.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, shook his head, and said “Too easy. I won’t even bother.”

Finished with the insults, Chuck returned to the board. “Now, I’ll bet some of you are a little mad at me. After all, I’ve solidly won each tiny argument I just started. You all lost. Losers.

“The point of this exercise is twofold. Number one-” He wrote these on the board, “- I want you all to know how it feels to have these expertly crafted paper bullets grazing your vital organs. This shows how powerful these can be in an argument. Number two- It’s an example, so you can use them yourselves. And Number three- I don’t want any of you to forget how it feels to lose an argument, how humiliating and how the need for vengeance will spread in your mind.

“So in this next class exercise, I want you to partner off and take out the resulting need to win on your opposition. Hit them with a sweeping generalization, then give them a chance to recover and try to sling one back at you. ”

He turned back to Valentine. Chuck didn’t feel that the poor kid had suffered quite enough yet. “I also have an extra credit opportunity. For next week’s class, you all can come up with generalizations why board-face here is unreliable and his arguments are bad, based off of his appearance and small things about him. Remember class, work small! An argument with a lot of support is nice and easy. But a thin argument where you have to grasp to connect things? That takes talent.” He clapped his hands. “Get going!”


OOC:You can start arguing when I blow the whistle... TWEEEEEET! Have at them!

Comments

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[certaintrouble.livejournal.com]

Partner up and judge them using grossly inaccurate first impressions.

This can't be good for group harmony.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

Turtle rubbed her hands together with a malicious smirk; she hoped that it made her look intimidating enough to ward off Jeff, because he would be her weakness in insulting because she knew she wouldn't be able to do it.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Of course, there was Jeff anyway, scared out of his mind. "Turtle," he whimpered, "I think I'm an arsonist but I can't remember."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

"Jeff," Turtle said, looking at him very seriously, with a face that told him that he could trust her, "you are not an arsonist."

...That she knew of. Yet. Maybe if he continued a little too strongly down this union thread he had going.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

"He said the school exploded," Jeff explained, frantically, "And I can't remember! What if I am an arsonist?" He grabbed for his head. "My mother's cross about it, isn't she? That's why she's cross all the time! I've caught her in an arsonic hold!"

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

"Jeff!" Turtle got her hands ready to shake him if she had to. "Calm down! That happened before you even started going here; that was during the last graduation and was proven to be done by aliens, of the outer space variety, not the from a different country variety, so you're okay! I promise!"

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[dark_slippy_thing]

Valentine was totally ready to be insulting. Totally.

It helped that he was expecting half the class to do the same to him, in turn. Bunch of half-faced maskless freaks.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

Naminé leaned in a little closer to Valentine. "He's right, you know," she said airily. "I can tell from your appearance that you're unreliable. Why, if I were alone with you, I don't trust you not to kiss me senseless."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[dark_slippy_thing]

"Perhaps I am unreliable," Valentine countered with a grin, "but I don't go lurking down dark hallways in the dead of night."

This was because he was terrified of dark hallways in the dead of night. Not that he was going to mention that.

"I imagine you're the silent sort for a reason. What nefarious schemes have you got in that head of yours that leave you lurking about after dark?"

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[palestshadow.livejournal.com]

"If you only knew the things I plot about, Valentine," she sighed. "I was lurking so that I could end up in a thoroughly unspeakable situation with a young man I'm currently infatuated with. Throw myself at him in rather a vulgar way. I only look innocent, you know."

"And for you? What are you hiding beneath that mask? I suppose you're traveling incognito for a very mysterious reason."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[dark_slippy_thing]

"Well, I am a very important man," he reminded her, without even thinking, really. "And now I'm wondering if I should be worried for my safety, what with such a slippy individual slipping through the darkness."

He grinned some more.

"A real predator, I'm certain."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[scary-jeff.livejournal.com]

Jeff had never insulted anyone purposefully before. Even with Andrew, it was just an observation.

He... chittered.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

Jim put on a friendly smile. All the better to lull people into a false sense of comfort before he destroyed them.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

"I feel that it's entirely possible that statistically signification portions of the beaver population are lazy," Willow said.

It was also entirely possible she hadn't quite gotten who she was supposed to be making insulting generalizations about.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

Jim couldn't believe that Willow had given him a setup like that, but the insults not only would have been crude, they would have been hitting below the belt. So to speak.

"I think that your hair color is keeping you from seeing the truth about beavers. There's a reason why people call them busy and that reason is because it's true. Redheads just have trouble understanding the finer points of beaver culture."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[willbedone.livejournal.com]

Now Willow was starting to get it. "You only say that because you're tall and can't percieve things that are below your noselevel."

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[fat-halpert.livejournal.com]

"Like we can believe the word of a red-headed Communist," Jim said. He had a feeling Communist accusations would be a key to success in this class.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

Annette was a cripple today; no one could possibly want to insult her.

Could they?

Hey, she could insult back. She might be good at it - she's had practice with a certain someone in this very classroom.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

For a brief moment, Turtle considered partnering up with Annette.

Nahhhhhh. Way too easy. Not even a proper challenge; she kept looking.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

Annette caught her eye-balling her. "What?"

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[stocksgrrl.livejournal.com]

"Nothing," Turtle said, glancing idly back to Annette. "I just figured I'd want a challenge, so, clearly, you wouldn't do." Case in point, she only had to say what she was thinking for that generalization.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[misshargrove.livejournal.com]

"A lot you know, Turtle Wexler," Annette said back, a bit of ice in her tone.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[goodgirlmeg.livejournal.com]

Meg couldn't insult people. She just couldn't. She was the nice girl. She felt bad enough about kicking Annette yesterday even though she deserved it.

She kept her head down and tried to look inconspicuous.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[not_in_the_book]

Ronan noticed the girl trying to look inconspicuous and came over. "You realise that trying to ignore it's going to make it worse, right?" he asked.

Re: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!

[girlzippo.livejournal.com]

Charlie glanced around, hoping for someone else to start. Walking up to someone and generalizing was a little harsh in person. On paper was something else entirely.