fandomhigh | Debating, Friday September 14

After a couple awkward teacherless minutes, Chuck walked through the door. He acted as if nothing had happened, going to the board and writing:

Generalizations

Chuck tapped the board under the word. “When you know a little about your opponent, you can use that to your advantage. Like they say, “a little bit of knowledge is dangerous…” to your foes. Take these two,” he looked at Jim and Willow, “I had them in class last year. Even though I don’t know them very well, I could say that Willow’s eagerness to study denotes a lack of personal life and a need to compensate to fill that hole in her heart. Or that Jim’s newfound inability to take notes means he will do poorly in school and end up a cubicle drone, endlessly shuffling papers.”

He rounded on Turtle. “I’ve heard her talking about stock options on the radio. Thus, she’s missed out on her entire childhood, and is doomed to have a massive breakdown in adulthood. Unstable.”

Chuck nodded toward Jeff. “He seems a little nervous. I’m guessing that he has some terrible secret, probably involving arson. Yeah, he’s an arsonist.”

“Then there’s the Asian kids.” Namine and Haruhi were next. “I could say that I’m fully expecting A’s from them, and if they’re doing poorly, that they ought to lay off on the Chinese cartoons.” He saw Namine’s sketchbook, and ignored any conventions of her style to say: “Point made.”

“Blonde jokes will never fail to make your opponent feel devalued.” He pointed to Cher. “She looks like a bottle blonde,” to Annette, “she’s probably the rich spoiled kind,” to Charlie, “vacant blond, obsessed with appearance. Probably a moody water sign, too,” he turned to Meg, “and since she’s the fourth person to be listed, this one probably follows the crowd all the time.”

“It’s not just hair color. Judging by appearance is just generally a good idea.” He turned his accusing finger to Zim. “The green kid looks like he’s from Mars.” He nodded to Ronan. “He looks like a Goth, and probably has a very active fantasy life, filled with swords and spears and dungeons and dragons.” He pointed to Mel’s shoes. “Her mom probably also wears combat boots.” He turned to Valentine next.

And stopped.

He opened his mouth, then closed it, shook his head, and said “Too easy. I won’t even bother.”

Finished with the insults, Chuck returned to the board. “Now, I’ll bet some of you are a little mad at me. After all, I’ve solidly won each tiny argument I just started. You all lost. Losers.

“The point of this exercise is twofold. Number one-” He wrote these on the board, “- I want you all to know how it feels to have these expertly crafted paper bullets grazing your vital organs. This shows how powerful these can be in an argument. Number two- It’s an example, so you can use them yourselves. And Number three- I don’t want any of you to forget how it feels to lose an argument, how humiliating and how the need for vengeance will spread in your mind.

“So in this next class exercise, I want you to partner off and take out the resulting need to win on your opposition. Hit them with a sweeping generalization, then give them a chance to recover and try to sling one back at you. ”

He turned back to Valentine. Chuck didn’t feel that the poor kid had suffered quite enough yet. “I also have an extra credit opportunity. For next week’s class, you all can come up with generalizations why board-face here is unreliable and his arguments are bad, based off of his appearance and small things about him. Remember class, work small! An argument with a lot of support is nice and easy. But a thin argument where you have to grasp to connect things? That takes talent.” He clapped his hands. “Get going!”

OOC:~~You can start arguing when I blow the whistle...~~ TWEEEEEET! Have at them!

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"I don't believe that's an insult," Naminé said airily. "I believe perhaps I've won our little debate. And all it took was a mention of world domination. How strange."

She was now examining her fingernails with an amused smile. "Unless of course it was the seduction that derailed your train of thought. I wouldn't imagine so. You're a distinguished rogue of sorts. Surely world domination is far better at distracting a gentleman of your stature?"

"No, world domination is but a ... little thing... amongst a sea of ... much bigger things! Which I strive to grasp! Because they are... big things!"

....

She did want him to seduce her, didn't she? The notion was very good at derailing his sly mind. Vocabulary... suffering...

"You're pretty, too."

He was failing so hard at this contest of wits, and he knew it.

Naminé was flushing now, and examining her crayons. And laughing, faintly, and wondering what on earth had gotten into her, anyway.

"You're very bad at insults, I must say. First I kiss well, and then I'm pretty. Unless you were hoping to go on to imply that I use those traits in nefarious ways. Do I?"

"Absolutely!" Ah, something to grasp onto. "Nefarious, and very distracting ways!"

Thank you, Naminé, for allowing him to not look like a complete idiot.

"This must be why our late-night discussions on world domination never seem to get very far," Naminé smiled. "I distract you from our true mission."

"I should really be cautious when you come by, I suppose," he mused. "Or we'll never get around to taking over the world."

"And if we aren't going to take over the world," she said smoothly, "why, what would be the point of coming by at all?"

Naminé flushed again, not looking up. "I don't think I'm very good at insults, either."

"I might kiss you here and now, just to win the debate," Valentine warned, grinning slyly. "And then the insults really won't matter at all, will they?"

"If you kiss me, we'll get detention again," she said with a laugh. "We'll end up a week behind all year. So much for Saturdays."

"Saturdays aren't that important," Valentine said. "One has to worry about the person who values Saturdays over kissing, really. Especially since we would be in detention together, wouldn't we?"

"Ah, but if we can wait until class is over to kiss," Naminé said lightly, "then we'll have Saturdays free for ... whatever it is we'd like to fill our Saturdays with. Nothing comes to mind, but I'm certain we could think of something, couldn't we?"

"I imagine someone as creative as yourself can come up with a good way to spend a Saturday that isn't cluttered up with in-class kissing-inspired detentions," he chuckled. "That is, if you aren't too busy using your mind to plot our world takeover. Or seducing shady masked men in the dead of night."

"Perhaps I could further both endeavours during my free Saturdays," Naminé mused. "Plotting the takeover of the world, and ... well. I suppose it would have to be seducing shady masked men in the broad daylight of midafternoon. Requires a slight change in tactics, you understand."

"Of course." Valentine leaned forward for a moment as though he was a wolf sizing up his prey. "You had best be careful about it, mind you. One never knows when certain shady masked men will manage to beat you to the punch by seducing you in the hazy sunrise of midmorning."

Naminé shivered. "Are you now trying to get me to kiss you, and land us in yet another detention? I'm resisting, you see. I'm wise to your dangerous ploys."

And in a much lower voice - while again staring at her sketchpad - she added, "Are your midmornings generally free?"

"I could certainly have a schedule made up for you," he replied lightly, leaning back into his seat again. "Complete with circles and lines and arrows pointing to each free midmorning hour and a paragraph on the back indicating what I would like to do with each one of those free hours if you just so happen to be around during them."

He had no shame.

"You could bring that to detention," Naminé said, flushing again. "It might be helpful. This is my only morning class."

Valentine seemed rather pleased at the notion.

"We can compare notes at lunchtime, then."

"Should I do the same?" Naminé asked. "I was only going to indicate my free hours. I have no lurid notions on how to fill them, being rather more innocent than yourself."

"If you wish to also bring a list, then I certainly won't complain," Valentine mused. "I think I'm rather looking forward to seeing one, now, actually. I might have to include 'seeing your list' on my list."

"Do you suppose that seeing my list would take a full hour?" she laughed. "My list might be rather tame, comparatively. And if you're to be reading my list during our lunch break, that would preclude it being one of your midmorning activities."

"Well, you could draft up your list here and now and read it to me," Valentine offered. "I'm all ears."

He was so kind!

"I wouldn't dream of ruining the surprise," she said firmly. "Tomorrow, and not a moment sooner. You shall just have to wait."

"I suppose I shall have to exercise patience, then," Valentine said with an air of 'oh the world is so difficult' to him.

Imagine, Valentine. With patience. Unthinkable!

Debating, Friday September 14

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